Age and Ageing - Dating

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    Age and Ageing - Dating

    Does age matter to you?

    Why or why not?

    Pitfalls? Pluses?

    I like to date 5 years on either side, maybe six, because of this thing I have about commonalities. That's for a LTR. For something casual, which I don't actively seek, I can go younger or older by say, 15 years.

    If/when Mr. Right comes along, I may change my mind. But I can't see a much younger man who wants babies being with a woman who, while still fertile, probably won't be for long, even if he wants to adopt.

    An older man might want a woman preparing to be free from career, free to do a lot of traveling, etc. I'll probably be working until the then, by both necessity and desire. I don't want empty days looming ahead of me, even if they're filled with volunteerism and little projects and travel. My DD wants to attend college out of state, and I want that for her. So, my nest will be empty in about five years.

    I'd prefer a man *with whom* I can grow old, not a man who's been there long ahead of me. I also want to do a through-walk of the AMC, and maybe follow NYT writer Bruce Weber's cross-country bike journey that he documented this summer and fall. If the older man is in great shape, I'd love to have him along. There are lots of 70-somethings who can do that, but not a lot of 80-somethings. Conversely, I'd like to be able to keep up with that younger man. In either case, the man must be willing to be vibrant and active.

    God willing, I'll be an active and engaged eccentric old woman - like the eccentric mid-life woman I am now.
     
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    Re: Age and Ageing - Dating

    Age itself doesn't matter so much.  I have dated women close to my age but also a couple who were twenty years younger. I have found that a lot of women who are "older" are neither active, engaged in life or eccentric. So, it's more that I look for attitude and personality than age itself. 
     
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    Re: Age and Ageing - Dating

    In Response to Re: Age and Ageing - Dating:
    [QUOTE]When I read this post, I see such longing. What action are you going to take to meet someone who has these interests?  AMC has a club for over 40, you know
    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick[/QUOTE]

    You're sweet, CHC.

    ~hug~

    That's a really great idea. Also, I may take a hint from Bleako. I ride my bike casually, no more than 25 miles at a time around here. Haven't done any long-distance riding in more than a decade. I might start re-conditioning myself for long-distance riding, and then join a bike club that goes on tours. I really liked those bike trips I did in Holland and Ireland, and would like to be able to do them again. But those were abroad, and I did them on my own, without a group. I even road from Ireland to Northern Ireland during The Troubles, and not one police officer stopped me! (Other than producing my passport at the border.) Ah, those were the days ... . But I had a BF back in the States then, and wasn't looking.

    Although I won't be using my zine to meet someone, maybe I'll meet someone through it.  But that won't be for almost a year before the thing is launched.

    I think I just have to, as they say, "get out there." I see the same faces, even at school and academic andnetworking socials and gallery openings. I need to try a new dating model in addition to the online dating sites. I think the hiking thing will be fun! If nothing else, I'll love being in the mountains. (Which comes full circle into youtr self-esteem thread - being in nature does wonders for mine.)
     
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    Re: Age and Ageing - Dating

    I have x-c skiis, but they need new bindings and shoes. My foot size grew an entire foot when I was pregnant. Frown
     
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    Re: Age and Ageing - Dating

    Age itself doesn't matter so much. I have dated women close to my age but also a couple who were twenty years younger. I have found that a lot of women who are "older" are neither active, engaged in life or eccentric. So, it's more that I look for attitude and personality than age itself.
    ----

    Out of curiosity, would you have dated much older?

    When Mum was in the nursing home, there was a man there almost Mum's age (early 80s). His wife was in her 50s. His wife's Mum was also in her early 80s - her husband and her Mum were on the same floor. Wife was miserable - saddened that her two most beloved had to live away from home (Alzheimer's), and saddened that she was still young but caring for a husband who no longer knew her.

    That's one extreeme. My BFF's grandfather lived until he was almost 100, vibrantly and on his own (his wife passed more than 10 years earlier).
     
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    Re: Age and Ageing - Dating

    Out of curiosity, would you have dated much older?

    I haven't dated anyone much older, but I would not exclude the possibility.  If she were fun to be with, etc....

    But then you mention "wife" and I am not really interested in marrying anyone at any age.  You can have commitment without marriage
     
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    Re: Age and Ageing - Dating

    My cousin married a woman 17 years older than he was.  Of course, everyone assumed that he would die first, but it didn't work out that way.  There are no certainties in life.
     
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    Re: Age and Ageing - Dating

    In response to reindeergirl's comment:
    [QUOTE]Does age matter to you?

    Why or why not?

    Pitfalls? Pluses?

    I like to date 5 years on either side, maybe six, because of this thing I have about commonalities. That's for a LTR. For something casual, which I don't actively seek, I can go younger or older by say, 15 years.

    If/when Mr. Right comes along, I may change my mind. But I can't see a much younger man who wants babies being with a woman who, while still fertile, probably won't be for long, even if he wants to adopt.

    An older man might want a woman preparing to be free from career, free to do a lot of traveling, etc. I'll probably be working until the then, by both necessity and desire. I don't want empty days looming ahead of me, even if they're filled with volunteerism and little projects and travel. My DD wants to attend college out of state, and I want that for her. So, my nest will be empty in about five years.

    I'd prefer a man *with whom* I can grow old, not a man who's been there long ahead of me. I also want to do a through-walk of the AMC, and maybe follow NYT writer Bruce Weber's cross-country bike journey that he documented this summer and fall. If the older man is in great shape, I'd love to have him along. There are lots of 70-somethings who can do that, but not a lot of 80-somethings. Conversely, I'd like to be able to keep up with that younger man. In either case, the man must be willing to be vibrant and active.

    God willing, I'll be an active and engaged eccentric old woman - like the eccentric mid-life woman I am now.[/QUOTE]

    Other than the obvious possible fertility/breeding issues, age is irrelevant IMO.  Either you like someone's behaviour or you don't.....either you find them attractive or you don't....either you enjoy their company or you don't.

    I don't see the issue, to be honest.

     
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