Books

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Books

    I chose the wrong man to marry and I weighted that as 50% of the demise of the marriage.  

    ETA:  If we'd done this workbook together beforehand, I would have called off the wedding:  Preparing for Marriage  It covered everything I believe is important and the FACT that we were ill-matched would have been blatently obvious less than 1/2 way through it.  Conversely, I know about the book because my second husband and I worked through the whole thing in pre-marital counseling (very difficult at times), and we proved that we were on the right track getting married.  It's written from a biblical perspective, though, so it's not for everyone.
     
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  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Books

    In Response to Re: Books:
    [QUOTE]I chose the wrong man to marry and I weighted that as 50% of the demise of the marriage.  
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    Kar, I think we are related! It's a little comforting to know someone else can say "been there, done that..." just wish it was under different circumstances.
     
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    Re: Books

    In Response to Re: Books:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Books : Kar, I think we are related! It's a little comforting to know someone else can say "been there, done that..." just wish it was under different circumstances.
    Posted by RogerTaylor[/QUOTE]

    I hope you'll find my saying we're kindred spirits a compliment. :)   And, I'm actually enjoying the benefits of having gone through what I did in my very broken life.  You will, too.  We're on the same road, your just a few miles behind me, a little closer to your tragedies, further from your rewards.  See my footprints?  Keep walkin' tall, you're on the path that leads where you want to go. :)
     
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    Re: Books

    In Response to Re: Books:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Books : I hope you'll find my saying we're kindred spirits a compliment. :)   And, I'm actually enjoying the benefits of having gone through what I did in my very broken life.  You will, too.  We're on the same road, your just a few miles behind me, a little closer to your tragedies, further from your rewards.  See my footprints?  Keep walkin' tall, you're on the path that leads where you want to go. :)
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    "What doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger!"....yah I know! I sound like a fortune cookie but, it helps make my point. It's imperative to learn from our mistakes and move forward.  In my case it may be years from finding a partner but, that's OK.  If given the choice of being in a dead end relationship or being alone...table for one please!
     
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  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Books

    I agree with CHC, RT.  I told myself, "NEVER again."  And, I meant it at the time.  But, I didn't stay there long in spite of myself.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Books

    CHC wrote: "There is no place lonelier than in the middle of a relationship that doesn't work." - agreed! 

    "My hunch is that you bounce back quickly." - Unfortunately I don't. I hurt and I can't "walk it off" I guess I'm just too sensitive for a guy my age. 

    "The ratio is tipped in your favor" - not sure how you came to that conclusion?
     
    Smile

     
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  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Books

    The year of the divorce and the year I spent in counseling after it I was HURT and thought I might never be happy, again (as dumb as that might sound).  Then, badda bing, badda boom, I was OVER it and instead of hurt, I was ready to love someone for real.  (I'd have said, "...love someone, again," but I don't think I ever loved my ex; I loved a false idea of him, but that's an irrelevant story).

    I predict your path will be similar.  Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, not hurt anymore.  And, it won't take as long as you think it will, but one can't be told that, I know.  That's why my closest friend just quietly nodded when I said I'd never date again.  He knew better but he was wise enough to keep that thought to himself.  Guess I'm not quite as wise as he was given I'm sitting here trying to convince you of something that's non-convincible.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Books

    In Response to Re: Books:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Books : I'm a highly sensitive person, too.  Learning how to let go was one of the best gifts I ever gave myself
    - Oh, I can let go. I pronounced the last woman I dated DEAD the night I found out she cheated on me with two other guys - one in IL the other in MA! But dealing with the betrayal, that's the tough part....

    Now as for the ratio - society is kinder to men as they age than they are to women.  And (generally speaking) men have an easier time dating much younger women so the older you get, the bigger your dating pool
    - I agree in part. As a guy in his 40's - I find "most" - not all - women 35+ want children and at this point in my life I'm done having kids.  I would never date a woman wanting kid's hoping to change her mind. So, my dating pool is a lot smaller than one would think...

    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick[/QUOTE]
     
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  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Books

    In Response to Re: Books:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Books : Agree that betrayal is hard to recover from - when you date someone that turns out to be untrustworthy it takes a LOT of reflection before you trust your own instincts again.  What is the saying ... the harder the end of a relationship, the more you will grieve for it - not just because of the relationship itself but also because of all of the lost work. Now as for the 35-45 year old woman and the kid thing ... I'm sorry but I think you are stereotyping.
    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick[/QUOTE]

    My "qualifying statement" was - "most - not all" to avoid stereotyping.....Wink
     
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  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Books

    all be it
    ----

    Albeit, RT, albeit.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Books

    Hey RDG, do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards?????
    ----

    The devil appears in my mirror?                     
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Books

    In Response to Re: Books:
    [QUOTE]Hey RDG, do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards????? ---- The devil appears in my mirror?                     
    Posted by reindeergirl[/QUOTE]

    ...you get your wife back, your job back, you don't have a drinking problem, and you get your dog back!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Books

    In Response to Re: Books:
    [QUOTE]all be it ---- Albeit, RT, albeit.
    Posted by reindeergirl[/QUOTE]

    Ahh? Ok, I'll play...a lot not alot? What do I win?
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Books

    ...you get your wife back, your job back, you don't have a drinking problem, and you get your dog back!
    ----

    Ha ha!


    Freaky. Wink Don't want my alcoholic ex back; never had a drinking problem; my dog's been gone for almost 12 years, so that would be weird.

    But funny, nonetheless. Smile


    CHC is a very desirable woman, RT. Srsly. She has a good education, she's very pretty, she's a vegan, and she's kind to vulnerable people. Wouldn't it be great to have a Relationships Forum success story?                   
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Books

    Ahh? Ok, I'll play...a lot not alot? What do I win?
    -----

    You meant "not a lot"? My mistake, RT. I apologize.


    Albeit:

        al·be·it (ôl-bt, l-)
    conj.
    Even though; although; notwithstanding: clear albeit cold weather


    From: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/albeit
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Books

    Self-help books never helped me. Frown Maybe because I think they're a cult.
     
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  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

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    In Response to Re: Books:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Books : I think you secretly suspect all self help books are written by goose steppers.
    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick[/QUOTE]

    Tee hee. Laughing
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Books

    In Response to Re: Books:
    [QUOTE]Self-help books never helped me.  Maybe because I think they're a cult.
    Posted by reindeergirl[/QUOTE]

    Yah, and Alcoholics Anonymous is for quitters!


     

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