Building Self Esteem in yourself and in others

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    Re: Building Self Esteem in yourself and in others

    I'm of an opposite mind than CHC, and many other people. I cannot forgive unless the other person admits culpability. They don't have to apologize, but they to have a mindfulness of their actions and words.

    My brother was in denial (or pretended to be) about the time I almost died and he, a physician could have helped, but didn't. (He was furious with our parents, and his mind was on his fury.) It was 20 years before he admitted to me that he could have helped save my life. He didn't apologize, he said hge was there, could have assisted, but still he qualified - "but you would have been OK." At least admitted he was in the room with me and our parents while I was suffering, and that he did nothing to help while they were screaming and begging him to help me. For two decades he denied that anything had happened to me.

    That kind of dialogue has to happen for me. If not an apology, then at least come clean. Only then can I start forgiving.

    At little more complicated if the guilty party is deceased or sick. Anyone ever watch :Homicide: Life on the Street"? Det. Bayliss is faced with being the caregiver for his sick uncle - the man who had sexually-abused him as a child. That's TV. It happens in real life all the time, and it's quite a dilemma.
     
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    Re: Building Self Esteem in yourself and in others

    CHC,

    I have the power, not the other person, because I decided to no longer allow his poison into my life.

    Do I pity him? Sure. So I wish him well? Sure. But his presence in my life is usuaally destructive.

    One thing I didn't do, which I wish I did: put as much geographical distance between Mum and me as possible, as was suggested years ago.

    Yet (there's always a yet), if I had, I probably wouldn't have met the fawn's father. I may have had a fawn anyway, but a much different fawn.

    Also, Mum was becoming incapable of caring for herself. This was before the Alzheimer's.
     
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    Re: Building Self Esteem in yourself and in others

    In Response to Re: Building Self Esteem in yourself and in others:
    In Response to Re: Building Self Esteem in yourself and in others : That avatar is not conducive to romancing the ladies.  I suggest you go back to Chris Noth.
    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick


    Yes!
     
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