Dating Advice Needed

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Gill-Sans. Show Gill-Sans's posts

    Dating Advice Needed

    Thought this might be a good place to solicit advice on where/how to meet new people who are also looking to get into a relationship. Here are my pluses/minuses: I am a 50 y.o. male, never married, no children. I'm well educated with a steady job and income. I don't commit any major fashion or grooming faux pas. I'm in good health, outgoing, pleasant, reliable and considerate, pretty comfortable in social situations. I do some volunteer work in the community, belong to a gym and play co-ed sports. Most of the women I encounter at work, the gym, church, etc. are already married or in a serious relationship. My "deal breakers" are smoking, drinking, drugs, mutiple (numerous) marriages/relationships, but I wouldn't rule out women who are divorced or have children.

    Do you have any suggestions for good ways to meet people in casual settings in which we could get to know each other over time? (I do much better in those situations rather than speed-dating, online dating sites or blind dates.) I was thinking about maybe art lessons at the MFA this summer as one idea, as a way to get to meet a group of people in a relaxed setting; but of course there's no guarantee that the people I meet will be "looking"; they're probably there primarily to improve their artistic skills.)

    Thank you for any suggestions you can offer!

    G.S.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    I know you're looking for in-person places, but I think you sound like a perfect candidate for eHarmony, and there's a very in-depth recent thread here on that I'd be happy for you to read.  My husband is a technophobe (although somewhat computer literate) and pretty much thinks the internet is "evil."  He was 44, was never married, no kids, and, in fact, reminds me of the description you gave of yourself.  He finally caved to his best friend's advice/harping, joined eHarmony, met me, and the rest is history.

    The problem with your request is the problem you already know you're facing (and what actually was the tipping point for my husband) - meeting a woman who matches your personality and shares your life goals "randomly" in life wherever you might bump into her is a game with odds best left to the younger crowd who can afford to waste 6 months figuring out stuff about each other that are deal breakers in the end.  Strings of relationships that end after 6 months to a year is not ideal for a man of 50...do you think?

    No matter where you look, even if you meet single women there you'll have to go through a dating/discovery/entanglement period unless you go through eHarmony.  The service reduces that discovery time (and remove the dating and entanglement) to about a minute per match unless you find someone you want to date (then it takes about 2 weeks to get to a first date).  My husband and I figure we shaved about 6 months of dating (discovery wise) in the two weeks we utilized eHarmony's discovery process before we met in person.

    He's very shy, and yet when we got to our first date he was very comfortable (well, as comfortable as possible) because we knew we were well matched personality wise, shared interests, and (thanks to the essay question exchange) new we had the same life goals.  We had wonderful, easy conversation because we already had a place to start way beyond, "Hi, I'm Kargiver."

    So, this isn't anything what you asked for, but I think you don't want what you asked for if I might be so bold.  Forgive me.  :)

    Best!!

    ~kar
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    First Friday at hte MFA is a meatmarket.  At least it used to be.  You are the right age range for it, but it's not very relaxed or amenable to quiet conversation. It's basically the bar scene for the older crowd but in a more refined location.  I went when I was in my late 20s/early 30s and the male age range there was 45+.  So if you want to hit on younger women looking for older men to take them to nice restaurants, it's the place to go. Doesn't sound like what you are looking for.

    I met my husband online [Match].  If you work online dating right, it can be a relaxed way to meet people and expand your potential dating pool. 

    If you want to take art lessons b/c you want art lessons, by all means go for it.  If you want to take lessons to meet people, I would suggest dance lessons.  If you don't want to spend big money on dance lessons, check out Swing City.  They have dances every weekend night and many of the people are in your age group. The age spread is generally 30s -60s.  The people are all very friendly, so you will not have trouble finding people to dance with. There is a free hour long lesson w/ the price of admission.  It's really a ton of fun.  Because dancing is a social event and you need a partner, this is really a good route to go to meet people and  get out and have some fun.  I have never seen anyone say 'no' to a dance, unless they are really tired or waiting for their spouse.  Try it! GL. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from oldchild. Show oldchild's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    Before you sign up for any dating, matchmaking or meeting-women activity, sit down and fill in some numbers:

    --what's your ideal age range?
    --how many longterm relationships is "multiple"?
    --are you interested in having your own kids?
    --what income range does the ideal have to earn?
    --what are you REALLY looking for?

    Because to tell the truth, a healthy 50 year old man who has never married has something extremely rare going on. Figure this out and you will know where to look for dates.

    PS if your grandmother is still alive, she may be able to find you a partner.



     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    oc has a great point.  In fact, when I started dating my husband he was 44 at the time in the same boat.  My closest friends and family asked me to be wary of WHY he had never married.  Turns out he had spent his time building a business and then literally building his home.  When it was all done, he turned to finding a wife.  But, there has to be a darned good reason for a woman to feel comfortable.  She's going to wonder (whether she wants to admit it or not), "Why now?  What's wrong with him?"
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    He may have never married for the same reason that a single woman of 50 has never married - he just never met the right person. Or he was in a long term relationship with a woman and they never got married, and then broke up.  Why does there have to be something wrong w/ someone who never married? 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    There doesn't.  But, more than a few people asked me about it when I was dating DH, and one of them was my grandmother, someone I held in high esteem for her wisdom in every matter.  But, of course, it's a question, not a forgone conclusion.  Regardless of how justified the question is, the OP would be wise to anticipate people wondering about it.

    ETA:  I clearly don't believe that a man that age who in 25 adult years hasn't fallen in love and married if that's what he wanted for his life because I married just such a man (well, he was 44, but still).  But, it's somewhat like a long employment gap on a resume.  There might very well be a wonderful explanation, but on its face it makes an employer wonder, and not in a good way.  Another analogy is looking at a well-priced house that's been on the market for a very long time.  It might be in tip top condition in the perfect neighborhood, at a great price, but buyers will wonder what's wrong with it that no one else has scooped it up and move on; at some point it becomes practically unsellable simply because it hasn't sold yet.  

    Anyway, the OP can be ready to respond if he anticipates the question.  Knowing it's a question on the minds of potential daters can only help him handle it proactively and effectively.


     
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  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from sugarxo. Show sugarxo's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    I think you should check out the website meetup.com.   you can search from tons of social groups in your area.. if you like art, wine, dogs and skydiving, search for those. They also have age specific groups.  I have met a lot of good friends on groups like this. Meeting people in a non-dating scene might be a better way to expand your circle, you never know who you will meet and love happens when you are least expecting it. Good luck!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Gill-Sans. Show Gill-Sans's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply to my post. A lot of good comments and suggestions here. I probably can't address them all, but let me respond to some and add some background info, by way of explanation. I agree that a lot of people will wonder "what's wrong with this person" if they've never been married by a certain age. Meaning, what's wrong both with their looks/personality/social status/all-around "attractiveness", and also what's wrong in terms of their goal/ambition/desire to be in a long-term relationship.

    I think it's fair to say that growing up I was never considered attractive or popular. In high school I was viewed by the other kids as either invisible or what I call a social leper - one of those guys whom the girls hope/prayed would never have a crush on them or ask them out. I remember at a dance in HS, asking this girl to dance and I only knew her from being in class but had never spoken to her. It was a crazy thing to do, looking back, and she was probably mortified. (If you're wondering, she said "no"). College was a little better in that I gradually got more outgoing and at ease in social situations, and got to know a couple women as friends, but my one big crush went to a semi-formal with me, then came to a few parties at my invitation but left after a short time, went to lunch with me once or twice but never opened up and eventually she avoided me until I caught on.

    In my mid-20s I remember this one woman at work with whom I got together outside of work on a friend/casual basis; she supposedly had a BF but he was never around. Once she even said that if I wanted to stay over at her apt I could, but she meant that in the very strictest sense of the word, just as a pal to hang out with. She even one time got a little affectionate with me, in a public setting. I started having feelings for her and eventually expressed them but she dismissed the very notion of dating me. It did hurt but I knew I needed to get over it, and quickly, since we worked together.

    I did have a couple of long-term dating relationships, one of which we started talking about getting married but to be honest, only because it was the thing to do, and most of our other co-workers and friends were getting married around the same time. I think we both knew we weren't right for each other but kept on going forward b/c, for me at least, I had no idea how to go back. I'd always focused my efforts on trying to become attractive and likable and had no experience in breaking up with someone. Eventually it just dissolved but interestingly exactly 12 months after we ended it for good, she got married to someone else.

    I also had a long-term friendship/dating relationship that was very out of character for me, in that she was technically married with 2 kids. Nothing happened that you could technically call it an affair, but we did spend time together talking, going out to dinner or the movies. It sounds like a crazy risky thing to do, but I gave her a lot of emotional support throughout a difficult time of her life, and like I said there were a lot of lines we didn't cross. I felt like I couldn't tell her with 100% sincerity, "I love you and want to spend my life with you", because it was such a crazy situation, and also because I couldn't get to know her well enough to say that due to her other commitments. And she never did say it to me either although I think she felt it. Eventually she started dating this other guy at work who had been crushing on her and they quickly got involved and shortly thereafter she filed for divorce and married the other guy. She did tell me at one point that I'd saved her life, in the sense of showing her that she could get through the rough patch and have a better life than the marriage she was in.

    Finally, a few years ago I met someone and there was an immediate attraction on both an emotional/intellectual and I think physical level. She was very enthusiastic about getting together and we had a couple long phone calls and exchanged many dozens of emails. She thought I was funny, smart, creative and easy to talk to and I felt the same about her. But after about 2 months she suddenly ceased contact; I think it was partially the age difference (although she said it wasn't) and partially the long distance (2 hours by car) but I think there was something more and I could never figure it out. I think I can sometimes come across as too eager to please, maybe too desperate to be liked. Anyway she asked me to stop calling her, which I did; no calls, no emails. Then literally 11 months later she started emailing me again, out of the blue, and we were back and forth with emails (but no calls or in person) for about 8 months. Finally I called her bluff and told her I was ready to see her again. We made a plan to talk but I missed her call by minutes and it was over, again. Since then we had a couple periods of email blasts back and forth, and she sent me pics of herself a couple times but eventually she told me about having a new BF and I had to face the reality that it's never going to happen and she's not been treating me with basic respect and decency. That was a strange situation but I know people who've experienced much worse.

    Just felt I needed to provide some history for y'all. Yeah, I sometimes wish I was more normal -- you know, meet someone, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have a normal life. Then again, who's normal and who isn't; the divorce and infidelity rates are pretty high in our society and we all know of friends and family who have gone through or are going through either or both of those. Not to mention inattentive husbands and wives, materialistic people, neglectful, clueless parents. The list goes on; none of us is perfect. It is kind of funny how I'm sure I'd be considered much more attractive if I was divorced with 2 kids who I shared custody of. That's far more socially acceptable than my own story. 

    Anyway, getting back to your posts, I think that eHarmony may be a good idea; I may take another look at it (years ago I filled out the online survey but balked at signing up.) The MFA first fridays, I went to a few a few yrs ago but even there I found that not everyone is truly "single", even at a singles event. Dancing would probably be a good idea but I don't think I can relive the dance experiences of high school and college again. Probably better would be getting into a volunteering situation; I believe there's a website called volunteers4boston or something; I'll have to check that out. Art lessons, as one of you said, are mainly for people who want to become better artists, although anything can happen. And I need to get the message out to some trusted friends to see if they know anyone who'd be interested in meeting me. I've done that in the past and had one or 2 dates out of that but nothing long term; my long-term relationships have mainly grown out of work settings. I think I need time to grow on people. And, both my grandmothers are deceased but I don't think they would have been able to put me in touch with anyone. Not a bad suggestion though.

    So, thank you all again for reading a posting. I'll do my best. Maybe I'll buy a car seat to put in the back of my car and throw some Happy Meal wrappers on the floor of the car; is that ethical? (I'm only kidding.)

    Best,

    Gil
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Gill-Sans. Show Gill-Sans's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    In Response to Re: Dating Advice Needed:
    [QUOTE]Before you sign up for any dating, matchmaking or meeting-women activity, sit down and fill in some numbers: --what's your ideal age range? --how many longterm relationships is "multiple"? --are you interested in having your own kids? --what income range does the ideal have to earn? --what are you REALLY looking for? Because to tell the truth, a healthy 50 year old man who has never married has something extremely rare going on. Figure this out and you will know where to look for dates. PS if your grandmother is still alive, she may be able to find you a partner.
    Posted by oldchild[/QUOTE]
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from oldchild. Show oldchild's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    Might I suggest that you pursue several different tracks?

    Join a choir or dance club or community theatre where you will have a focussed fun activity and purely social fun WITHOUT the dating being part of your agenda. This will give you some confidence over time.  I suggest these because they are more directly interactive than art classes.

    Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, where you are required to do something very interactive that helps needy people. 

    Please DO NOT use volunteering to jumpstart dating.

    At the same time as these other activities, consider a dating service where there is a fair bit of screening.  ALWAYS bear in mind that with a total stranger, it takes at least six months before you get to know them well enough to start thinking about a real relationship.  DO NOT try to jump into the "deep end" of the dating pool after a few weeks.






     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    Gil, the only thing you need to worry about is your self esteem.  At this point, your history, per se, isn't the problem, it's where you are emotionally as a result of your history.  You see yourself as that undatable teenager, and as corny as it might sound, the fact is if you feel that in your core you project it.

    If you project this to a woman who wouldn't be your first (or even second) choice, she probably won't either notice or mind and will date you.  The married or ones with BFs, for instance.  What do they care about your self esteem, really?  They HAVE security with another man.

    If you project this to the type of women you'd be interested in they won't give you the time of day.  You don't believe in yourself so they won't bother getting to know you.

    So, you've been possibly running off the good women NOT because you have something wrong with you, but you act meek and undeserving as if you have something wrong with you.

    This has nothing to do with how "handsome" (quoted because beauty really is in the eye of the beholder) you are or the facts of your past.  Before you work on meeting women, meet yourself.  Introduce yourself to Gil, a man who should be confident because he has a LOT going for him - you gave an excellent description of a quality man (the man you wish you believed you felt and acted as if you are) in your OP.  He is perfectly capable and deserving of dating fabulous women.  Read your OP and believe it in your heart of hearts - internalize it, and women will sense, "Hey, here comes a catch," when you walk their way.

    Once you get to know that Gil, I bet you'll find "miraculously" that women of the caliber you're hoping for will just appear when you aren't even looking or expecting it because I doubt your problem is the venue it's how you see yourself.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from smartgirlseatbacon. Show smartgirlseatbacon's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    Just get out & walk around TALK to people....I know what a strange concept in this "iLife" obsessed city. Take the earplugs out, put the phone down & chat up a stranger. 

    Go to a bar alone...I do it often & have met some wonderful people, partners in crime. I actually prefer it to going with group of girls, I've met more solo than on "girls night out" 

    Im in my mid thirties have been single for 3 years & can't be happier. I don't aspire to ever get married, have a family etc. to have love yes. I was reading some of the comments here, it's still so surprising how much importance we place on marriage or lack of it. 

    I can't imagine what the replies will be when Im a bit older & asking how to meet hot young collegiate types to keep my heart & blood pressure in good balance. 

    Dont sign up for Eharmony...its the biggest mistake you could make....its a sad desperate world. 
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    On the other hand, my DH lived in a very rural area and spent his time working on the house, working at work (not many women), and commuting.  If he hadn't joined eHarmony he would have been a bachelor forever, I think, and he was 43 when he joined.

    If you live in a populated area, it's great to mingle in the community, but out here in the middle of nowhere it's a lot harder to roll the bump-into-the-woman-of-your-dreams dice.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    not that you care, but "kar" were my initials, and my ex-husband was a paramedic so we created "kargiver" as our email address to reflect both of us, and I just kept using it.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    I learned everything I share the hard way, fwiw.  Not that I think my advice is perfect, but it's tried and true in my life, and that's all I've got to offer.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    In Response to Re: Dating Advice Needed:
    [QUOTE]Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply to my post. A lot of good comments and suggestions here. I probably can't address them all, but let me respond to some and add some background info, by way of explanation. I agree that a lot of people will wonder "what's wrong with this person" if they've never been married by a certain age. Meaning, what's wrong both with their looks/personality/social status/all-around "attractiveness", and also what's wrong in terms of their goal/ambition/desire to be in a long-term relationship. I think it's fair to say that growing up I was never considered attractive or popular. In high school I was viewed by the other kids as either invisible or what I call a social leper - one of those guys whom the girls hope/prayed would never have a crush on them or ask them out. I remember at a dance in HS, asking this girl to dance and I only knew her from being in class but had never spoken to her. It was a crazy thing to do, looking back, and she was probably mortified. (If you're wondering, she said "no"). College was a little better in that I gradually got more outgoing and at ease in social situations, and got to know a couple women as friends, but my one big crush went to a semi-formal with me, then came to a few parties at my invitation but left after a short time, went to lunch with me once or twice but never opened up and eventually she avoided me until I caught on. In my mid-20s I remember this one woman at work with whom I got together outside of work on a friend/casual basis; she supposedly had a BF but he was never around. Once she even said that if I wanted to stay over at her apt I could, but she meant that in the very strictest sense of the word, just as a pal to hang out with. She even one time got a little affectionate with me, in a public setting. I started having feelings for her and eventually expressed them but she dismissed the very notion of dating me. It did hurt but I knew I needed to get over it, and quickly, since we worked together. I did have a couple of long-term dating relationships, one of which we started talking about getting married but to be honest, only because it was the thing to do, and most of our other co-workers and friends were getting married around the same time. I think we both knew we weren't right for each other but kept on going forward b/c, for me at least, I had no idea how to go back. I'd always focused my efforts on trying to become attractive and likable and had no experience in breaking up with someone. Eventually it just dissolved but interestingly exactly 12 months after we ended it for good, she got married to someone else. I also had a long-term friendship/dating relationship that was very out of character for me, in that she was technically married with 2 kids. Nothing happened that you could technically call it an affair, but we did spend time together talking, going out to dinner or the movies. It sounds like a crazy risky thing to do, but I gave her a lot of emotional support throughout a difficult time of her life, and like I said there were a lot of lines we didn't cross. I felt like I couldn't tell her with 100% sincerity, "I love you and want to spend my life with you", because it was such a crazy situation, and also because I couldn't get to know her well enough to say that due to her other commitments. And she never did say it to me either although I think she felt it. Eventually she started dating this other guy at work who had been crushing on her and they quickly got involved and shortly thereafter she filed for divorce and married the other guy. She did tell me at one point that I'd saved her life, in the sense of showing her that she could get through the rough patch and have a better life than the marriage she was in. Finally, a few years ago I met someone and there was an immediate attraction on both an emotional/intellectual and I think physical level. She was very enthusiastic about getting together and we had a couple long phone calls and exchanged many dozens of emails. She thought I was funny, smart, creative and easy to talk to and I felt the same about her. But after about 2 months she suddenly ceased contact; I think it was partially the age difference (although she said it wasn't) and partially the long distance (2 hours by car) but I think there was something more and I could never figure it out. I think I can sometimes come across as too eager to please, maybe too desperate to be liked. Anyway she asked me to stop calling her, which I did; no calls, no emails. Then literally 11 months later she started emailing me again, out of the blue, and we were back and forth with emails (but no calls or in person) for about 8 months. Finally I called her bluff and told her I was ready to see her again. We made a plan to talk but I missed her call by minutes and it was over, again. Since then we had a couple periods of email blasts back and forth, and she sent me pics of herself a couple times but eventually she told me about having a new BF and I had to face the reality that it's never going to happen and she's not been treating me with basic respect and decency. That was a strange situation but I know people who've experienced much worse. Just felt I needed to provide some history for y'all. Yeah, I sometimes wish I was more normal -- you know, meet someone, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have a normal life. Then again, who's normal and who isn't; the divorce and infidelity rates are pretty high in our society and we all know of friends and family who have gone through or are going through either or both of those. Not to mention inattentive husbands and wives, materialistic people, neglectful, clueless parents. The list goes on; none of us is perfect. It is kind of funny how I'm sure I'd be considered much more attractive if I was divorced with 2 kids who I shared custody of. That's far more socially acceptable than my own story.  Anyway, getting back to your posts, I think that eHarmony may be a good idea; I may take another look at it (years ago I filled out the online survey but balked at signing up.) The MFA first fridays, I went to a few a few yrs ago but even there I found that not everyone is truly "single", even at a singles event. Dancing would probably be a good idea but I don't think I can relive the dance experiences of high school and college again. Probably better would be getting into a volunteering situation; I believe there's a website called volunteers4boston or something; I'll have to check that out. Art lessons, as one of you said, are mainly for people who want to become better artists, although anything can happen. And I need to get the message out to some trusted friends to see if they know anyone who'd be interested in meeting me. I've done that in the past and had one or 2 dates out of that but nothing long term; my long-term relationships have mainly grown out of work settings. I think I need time to grow on people. And, both my grandmothers are deceased but I don't think they would have been able to put me in touch with anyone. Not a bad suggestion though. So, thank you all again for reading a posting. I'll do my best. Maybe I'll buy a car seat to put in the back of my car and throw some Happy Meal wrappers on the floor of the car; is that ethical? (I'm only kidding.) Best, Gil
    Posted by Gill-Sans[/QUOTE]

    I didn't come here to judge you because your 50 and never married - That being said, Do you know what they call a 50 year old guy that never married?


    SMART!   Wink
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from maggieagnes. Show maggieagnes's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    In Response to Re: Dating Advice Needed:
    [QUOTE]I learned everything I share the hard way, fwiw.  Not that I think my advice is perfect, but it's tried and true in my life, and that's all I've got to offer.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    I think your advice/comments were spot on :)
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from DrDiSaia. Show DrDiSaia's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    I met my wife on match.com. Then again I use the internet for pretty much everything. Good luck to you.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lionore64. Show Lionore64's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    Hi Dating Advice Needed,

    Thanks for posting more background on why you are not married at age 50. I so admire you for being willing to look within yourself and understand yourself, and to ask for help from this group regarding places or ways to meet the right woman for you. I do note, however, that your history may reveal an underlying depression and/or self esteem issues that are undermining your efforts and will continue to do so regardless of expanding the avenues of connection. By that I mean that you have had intense relationships with unavailable women. You may have been afraid to really connect with someone who was available, so being the friend to a married woman, or being in email relationships that really never take off, may feel more comfortable for you. I had such a relationship years ago when I was in a disastrous marriage, and met someone in a support group. He was my best friend and confidant for years, as my marriage collapsed, and finally one day we went over that line, and all of a sudden he was like the Cheshire Cat, attentive, then would disappear and act like I was intruding when I would call and suggest getting together. I would think about counseling to explore where your fears originate and work on self esteem issues. There are plenty of decent, attractive, available women out there but if you have an old wound that was never properly healed, you will continue to either gravitate to unavailable people or give up on someone without realizing why. You seem like a good person and I wish you the best.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from JeepersCripes. Show JeepersCripes's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    Hey Gil-

    Coincidently, my stepmother is in a similar boat, though she was married and has a child. She is in her mid-50’s (long divorced) and not having a whole lot of luck in the dating department. She tried eHarmony, but found it was very limited, since she is pretty specific in what she is looking for. I am not a big advocate of online dating for the ummm older set, but that is just my opinion. I think while it works for the younger generation, I think a lot gets lost in the older generation. But of course, it cant hurt to try. My hesitation would be that its very superficial. A lot is based on looks etc….
     I think aside from everything you are doing, you should join more group activities. What are your interests? Would you consider hiking/skiing groups? There are sailing and kayaking groups as well. Boston and the surrounding area are fairly active. Most enjoy some kind of outdoor activities. Are you religious? There are usually group outings depending on the church you are associated with.  Really it just comes down to getting out there and being part of a group. If you don’t meet anyone there, there is a good chance they may know someone. Its kind of like job searching. Its all about networking. I think then, if all else fails a dog/car seat is next J 

    Best of luck!!!

     
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  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    Gil,

    Take a month of from whatever it is you're doing. Go abroad. Don't do a formal tour or a cruise. Stay in the hostels. Get cheap rail passes. Eat in the hostels or the local restaurants. You'll come back feeling refreshed, with great stories, new friends, a new outlook, and high self-esteem for doing it on your own.

    Good luck!
     
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    Re: Dating Advice Needed

    And yes, I want to remarry. While it's no wonder that I'm alone, I still do best when partnered.
     

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