I have been married for 21 years. My husband back in 2009 had 2 affairs (two different women). I know that he is still talking to both of these women as he makes comments about what they are doing and it seems pretty current information. I have not been able to gain the trust and love back that I once had. We have two children ages 17 and 7. The 17 year old is planning on joining the navy when he graduates next June (against my husband’s wishes). My Husband constantly calls me fat, slut, dumbass, feels me up when the 7 year old is close by (don’t think he sees it though) pinches and smacks my ass till I tell him to stop cause it hurts. When I say that it hurts he says “Oh I haven’t even begun to hurt you”. He flirts with friends and neighbors to the point of we (women) feel uncomfortable. When we tell him to stop he says something like “oh you cant take a joke”. When we have sex (which he insist on every night) he will get really annoying by calling me a different name (normally my sister or neighbor) and then he expects me to call him by a different name. He now accuses me (at least once a week) of having an affair with some one or accusing me of breaking of marriages of neighbors. I honestly will say I have never had an affair with anyone. If I refuse sex with him he gets very mad and almost pushes me out of bed and takes all the blankets. He also has a tracker on the computer and cell phone. I can not go any where with out him checking on me via the tracking device. If I am gone to long and he has nothing to do I then get the text messages that say “I am so bored, when are you coming home?” if I say it won’t be for a few more hours I then get “well maybe I will find a more willing women to keep me company who loves me”. He also threatens to divorce me and leave me with nothing. When he threatens I use to kiss his but. But I am now at the point I tell him to go ahead and leave me or if he threatens to visit the neighbors I say well when you do that you minds well live there also cause if you cheat on me again we are done. I am at the end of my rope. We have tried counseling both individual and marriage and it hasn’t worked cause he has quite going after a few sessions.
So NOW WHAT?