Re: Eye candy
posted at 6/27/2013 12:52 AM EDT
In response to RogerTaylor's comment:
In Response to Re: Eye candy
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye candy : Yes, but you are still assuming that when she asked him about it, she expressed that it bothered her. Not saying you're wrong, or even wrong to pull that assumption out of what the OP wrote. I can see it. All I'm trying to get across to the OP is that if she hasn't really expressed her feelings about this behavior, she needs to do that and see what happens. If she's already done it, then I'm with you. OP: "You like looking at those sites every day?" BF: "Eh, it doesn't mean anything, except that work is a bit boring." not the same as: OP: "You know, it bothers me that you spend so much time every day looking at those sites. I feel like I'm not attractive to you." BF: "Oh, this means nothing. I'm much more interested in personality, even though I do like women who've had plastic surgery." Uh, yeah, here's your hat, what's your hurry and don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Posted by cb156
The thing I keep coming back to - at a personal level too - is that I don't believe a person (man or woman) should forgo their morals, values and beliefs for the sake of being with someone.
I read the OP as having something that "hurts" her in a relationship and I can't figure out why? Look at CHC's response to my earlier post - Her azz is out of there! She's figured out her self worth and boundaries. I'm willing to bet CHC is in her 40's with more life experience with relationships than the OP in her late 20's.
But I don't believe CHC's response is exclusive to her. Kar, reindeergirl - I would think - would also walk before being "hurt" by a guy based on his behavior. Yes, I know I'm being presumptuous, I based my opinion on their previous post's.
Hi Roger. I don't think we are far apart on this, but I do think there is a lot of immature, repressed, premature hand-wringing going on here. If the guy is truly looking at clothed, mainstream images of women and not chatting with anyone he is definitely guilty of selfish, thoughtless behaviour and that needs to be sorted out. But that is hardly a divorce issue! It seems absurd to me that some people have such a repressed, Victorian viewpoint. Grow up! The OP seems lovely to me and has, IMO, a legitimate if not critical concern. I do think she should take a stronger stance (should have said that in my previous post). I'm on her side! He is wrong, she is right...but it's not - yet, anyway - a huge issue. This doesn't require the Bomb, it requires diplomacy. Oftentimes such innocent, minor interests can be easily forgotten. Here's a suggestion; get 100 cards and each write down (approved by the other, of course) 50 activities that would get their attention. You might choose 50 different ones or all 50 the same. Draw one out every night. Magic. That'll get him off the internet. ;-)