I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from daisyt222. Show daisyt222's posts

    I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    Ok, this is kind of silly but I would like to hear from some men out there to see if I made a mistake with this. My boyfriend is away for the week. I have the key to his apartment, welcome to stay there any time I like. For the past few months, he has been very busy--moved, work travel, and he has a kid he has every other weekend. His house was a pit. I decided to clean it, partly because I can't stand to live in that and partly because we plan to spend the entire weekend together when he gets home on Friday and I don't want him to be worried about having to do things around the house (he is embarrassed that it is such a mess). I cleaned the entire place, kitchen, dishes, bathroom, washed floors, vacuumed, did laundry,took out the trash,  bought some things he was out of (laundry soap, trash bags). I am now wondering if I took it too far. I know that I would be psyched if someone cleaned my house while I was away but from a guy's perspective---is this too much? Did I overstep boundries?
    Thanks!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    I'm not a guy, but I hope you won't mind my prefacing the men's responses with the idea that any guy that would disapprove of that gift of your time, effort, and money is a dope as long as your your cleaning efforts didn't include rifling through all his closets and stuff.  He did give you a key so he obviously trusts you to be there when he isn't.

    OK, guys, have at it.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from beastsgirl. Show beastsgirl's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    I did that same thing. We got married, and I'm still doing the same thing. Trust me, he won't be upset. Let him spring for a romantic dinner. bg
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lukes58. Show lukes58's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    can i be your boyfriend even though i'm a girl?  if he's pissed there is some problem here -- he gave you a key to his apartment -- don't think he would mind if you cleaned it.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    In Response to Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion:
    I did that same thing. We got married, and I'm still doing the same thing. Trust me, he won't be upset. Let him spring for a romantic dinner. bg
    Posted by beastsgirl


    Me, too!  I think I was interviewing. ;)
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    As long as you didn't tidy up his desk or office [other than running a vacuum], I think you are fine.  GL!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from daisyt222. Show daisyt222's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    Thanks for the opinions. I guess I will find out on Friday what he thinks and let you know. A little too late to change it, unless I go and make a mess of the house again. I did not touch his papers, except to pick most of them up off the floor (he leaves bills, receipts, notes all over the house so doubt he is trying to hide anything) and put them in a pile on the counter and did not touch his closet so I guess I am good.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    Whatever you do, act like you have a fabulous surprise not like you think you might have done something wrong.  If you are excited about it he'll be reluctant to turn your smile up side down. :)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlyssaJones. Show AlyssaJones's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    I want an update!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    It might hypothetically look like a passive-aggressive way of telling him to keep his place tidy in the future. If he doesn't you are making him face up to the fact that he can't cope, hectic life or not, with simple tasks like keeping an apartment tidy. In the long run its a good thing. He might be initially shocked and then keep the place tidy after that so problem solved.
    I used to do the same with parents coming to my place. First time my mum visited and tidied everything. Everytime after that I spent ages tidying first so as not to feel like I had failed as a human and have my nose rubbed in it. 
    I don't think its a problem. You were invited to stay when he isn't there so to bring it up to your standards is a good thing. Its not as if the key was for emergencies, and you snuck over to do the cleaning knowing it was taboo. 
    However, you could have at least let him know in an email/text "hey babe, just gonna do a spot of cleaning to make the place nice for your return" (and technically you still have time to do that - cover your butt).


     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    I believe only a passive agressive boyfriend would even think that it's a passive agressive attempt to call him a slob.

    Of course, we might never know.  Where do the OPs go after the fact?   What happened to bird guy?  I have to know if he bought that squawking bird despite his wife's strong objections.  Are they still married?  Is the bird dead?  Inquiring minds...

    Did he dump her?  Not care at all?  Propose marriage?  What happened?
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from heavyblaster. Show heavyblaster's posts

    Re: I cleaned by BF's house - guy's opinion

    He probably moved to that modern day Gomorrah, Las Vegas, with some Jezzebel who doesn't care if he lives in his own squalorous filth.

    If the OP is still out there, my church group, The Commonwealth Warriors of Eternal Flagellation, has many gentlemen who would love to have such a handy lady around the house.
     
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