Is he a cheater or just a guy?
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Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/3/2011 3:33 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
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Aries, I found a picture of old Robin.. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/3/2011 3:37 PM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
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what number was she for you Calm? -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/3/2011 3:42 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
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Maybe Robin is the "friend" orchestrating the OP's breakup? hmmm -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/4/2011 2:00 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
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Robin, don't go. We need you here. Come on. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/4/2011 2:02 PM EST
- ambergirl
- Posts: 4240
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I agree. I really like when other people, other than the "regulars" post. Always refreshing to get a new perspective. Don't let anyone run you off, this is a public forum. Calm, I love the interaction between you and Aries : ) -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/5/2011 8:50 AM EST
- jesseyeric
- Posts: 13665
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In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?:This is the OP just adding a little more info to answer some questions. He is taking the job in another city because he will be making almost double his salary and he is in a profession where it is tough to find a job right now. Also, his calls are not "check up" calls. We talk quite a few times a day and I enjoy it as much as he does. I go out with friends and he never checks on me when I am out with them so I don't think he is obsessive. He is keeping an apt. here and plans to come back every other weekend to spend with his kids and with me (I spend his kid weekends with them now). I work from home so the plan was for me to spend 2 weeks (including weekends) a month there with him. So basically he would not have any free weekends and pretty much only about 10-12 days a month where we would not be together. The job will also be very intense and so he will be working very long hours. He is also paying for one of my flights, I would pay for the other (he has already bought some of the tickets). I have not confronted him yet, he has his kids this week and we just spent alot of time together with them. What gets me is WHY he would do this. Why would he make an elaborate plan to continue our relationship (the plan is also that by 6 months, I would move there permanantly), a plan that is going to cost him money, keep me in his children's lives and his family's, if he is not commited to this? I know that I need to face the reality that this is not right, but I just cannot grasp why a guy would do this. Wouldn't it be easier to just back out now? We just had a discussion last week about it all since he is leaving in 2 weeks, and he was adamant that he is commited to this. Do you think he is crazy?
Posted by CambridgeGrl2
First things first - verify that there is an online profile for your honey in this other city. Once this has been confirmed, then go with your instintcs. But if I may add:
Guys are flirts - we need it for our fragile little ego. However, if we set out some bait (online profile) then we have all intentions of going hunting. It is not just to see what and who is out there.
Guys can lie - we do it to protect ourselves from our own stupidity. And many of us are very good at it. It can take 40 or 50 years before we learn that these lies only hurt ourselves.
Some guys can cheat - many do it because they think they will get away with it. They never do.
Guys and presents - Buying a thoughtful present for a woman means squat if he has other motives (hunting).
Take it from a guy who wasn't always the best kind of guy. If he has a profile, flip him the bird and go have fun elsewhere. I know it will hurt, but not as much as it may 6 months from now. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/5/2011 11:08 AM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
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Robin, don't let Calm scare you away. His bark is much worse than his bite! The more opinions, the merrier and they all "count" for as much as anything can count on here!
and Amber, Calm and I go way back............ but I'm glad we can amuse you! -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/5/2011 11:10 AM EST
- ambergirl
- Posts: 4240
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Hi Aries,
I have read your interactions for a while on other posts and it is really funny. I have the same humor, so I def get it : ) -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/5/2011 11:17 AM EST
- ambergirl
- Posts: 4240
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And here you were going to leave Robin : ) So true and Great advice!!!
Welcome back! -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/5/2011 11:24 AM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
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Therapists Do always say that, don't they.............. Maybe the correct response should be, well I am the one giving You the money so why don't you just tell me Your Damn Opinion! I only started therapy when I met Calm. I was relatively ok before then :) -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/5/2011 4:24 PM EST
- calmdown
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Robin, I don't want to "scare" anyone except the brides-to-be in the Wedding Forum. Guilty! I hang there too.
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Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/5/2011 4:26 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
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Aries isn't "scared" either, it is more a weak-in-the-knees-hurry-up-come-over-and-see-me thing for her. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/5/2011 4:53 PM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
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In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?:Aries isn't "scared" either, it is more a weak-in-the-knees-hurry-up-come-over-and-see-me thing for her.
Posted by calmdown
Calm are you terrorizing the bridezillas out there? isn't it enough to be worried about your potential mate posting on websites in other cities? and you're right, i'm not scared of you. i just drink a lot. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/6/2011 9:52 AM EST
- kargiver
- Posts: 21658
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In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?:Enough about us! What happened, where is the OP?
Posted by robingirl
Gone, as usual. I swear they really don't half care what they're posting about. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/6/2011 11:44 AM EST
- cosmogirl
- Posts: 4240
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If I was the OP, I would just tell him that Susie found his online profile in the new city, told her about it, and what does he have to say about it.
Or, I could rearrange my whole life while not being able to trust him.
Tough decision - not! -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/6/2011 1:44 PM EST
- Bubs06
- Posts: 41
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In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?:If I was the OP, I would just tell him that Susie found his online profile in the new city, told her about it, and what does he have to say about it. Or, I could rearrange my whole life while not being able to trust him. Tough decision - not!
Posted by cosmogirlBoy, stop the angst and get on board the Cosmo train. All of this second guessing is solved with eye contact and a healthy "what's this all about?" chat. A long pause to answer or the dreaded look away means split the books and LP's up and move on. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/6/2011 1:46 PM EST
- calmdown
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I still think the OP should go online and approach the guy. She should have fun with him for our entertainment which is our goal here. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/6/2011 1:52 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
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Susie is a troublemaker. It really sounds like Susie is jealous of this friend who has a boyfriend and would like it to end. Susie needs a night out with Calm, movie and Entertainment Card dinner, everything.
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Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/6/2011 2:03 PM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
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In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?:In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy? : Boy, stop the angst and get on board the Cosmo train. All of this second guessing is solved with eye contact and a healthy "what's this all about?" chat. A long pause to answer or the dreaded look away means split the books and LP's up and move on.
Posted by Bubs06
Ah dear Bubs.......... sound advice as usual. maybe i should try that eye contact whats this all about chat in my own life! chlobster? -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/6/2011 2:18 PM EST
- Bubs06
- Posts: 41
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In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?:In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy? : Ah dear Bubs.......... sound advice as usual. maybe i should try that eye contact whats this all about chat in my own life! chlobster?
Posted by ariesgirlAries! What's wrong with the truth? Heard it's the new black. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/6/2011 2:54 PM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
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In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?:In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy? : Aries! What's wrong with the truth? Heard it's the new black.
Posted by Bubs06
I thought 50 was the new black. no wonder.... -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/7/2011 3:36 PM EST
- calmdown
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Aries, how is your day? Any weekend plans? -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/7/2011 3:46 PM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
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In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?:Aries, how is your day? Any weekend plans?
Posted by calmdown
My day just got better Calm. Well, except for this cold. As for the weekend I am planning on scouring the internet for dating websites to make sure you aren't on any of them. Wish me luck and get ready to hit the delete button! -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/7/2011 4:52 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
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Aries, I hate to tell you but you will definately bump into me on those sites. My name on them is Augustus and I am new to America and need a place to stay. But I can picture by Saturday night at your place, it will be you...Augustus...and how you say, a box of wine. -
Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/9/2011 3:21 PM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
- First: 9/8/2009
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In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?:Aries, I hate to tell you but you will definately bump into me on those sites. My name on them is Augustus and I am new to America and need a place to stay. But I can picture by Saturday night at your place, it will be you...Augustus...and how you say, a box of wine.
Posted by calmdown
oh my how could a woman possibly resist? You had me at hello but you really "had" me at the box of wine. Throw in some Barry White music and I'm a goner.