Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
posted at 1/5/2011 8:50 AM EST
In Response to Re: Is he a cheater or just a guy?
[QUOTE]This is the OP just adding a little more info to answer some questions. He is taking the job in another city because he will be making almost double his salary and he is in a profession where it is tough to find a job right now. Also, his calls are not "check up" calls. We talk quite a few times a day and I enjoy it as much as he does. I go out with friends and he never checks on me when I am out with them so I don't think he is obsessive. He is keeping an apt. here and plans to come back every other weekend to spend with his kids and with me (I spend his kid weekends with them now). I work from home so the plan was for me to spend 2 weeks (including weekends) a month there with him. So basically he would not have any free weekends and pretty much only about 10-12 days a month where we would not be together. The job will also be very intense and so he will be working very long hours. He is also paying for one of my flights, I would pay for the other (he has already bought some of the tickets). I have not confronted him yet, he has his kids this week and we just spent alot of time together with them. What gets me is WHY he would do this. Why would he make an elaborate plan to continue our relationship (the plan is also that by 6 months, I would move there permanantly), a plan that is going to cost him money, keep me in his children's lives and his family's, if he is not commited to this? I know that I need to face the reality that this is not right, but I just cannot grasp why a guy would do this. Wouldn't it be easier to just back out now? We just had a discussion last week about it all since he is leaving in 2 weeks, and he was adamant that he is commited to this. Do you think he is crazy?
Posted by CambridgeGrl2[/QUOTE]
First things first - verify that there is an online profile for your honey in this other city. Once this has been confirmed, then go with your instintcs. But if I may add:
Guys are flirts - we need it for our fragile little ego. However, if we set out some bait (online profile) then we have all intentions of going hunting. It is not just to see what and who is out there.
Guys can lie - we do it to protect ourselves from our own stupidity. And many of us are very good at it. It can take 40 or 50 years before we learn that these lies only hurt ourselves.
Some guys can cheat - many do it because they think they will get away with it. They never do.
Guys and presents - Buying a thoughtful present for a woman means squat if he has other motives (hunting).
Take it from a guy who wasn't always the best kind of guy. If he has a profile, flip him the bird and go have fun elsewhere. I know it will hurt, but not as much as it may 6 months from now.