It's been a 1.5weeks and i cant stop... thinking of her

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from beantown61777. Show beantown61777's posts

    It's been a 1.5weeks and i cant stop... thinking of her

    Hello everyone.
    Been with gf(ex) for 3yrs.
    B-day 2weeks ago - Got nothing. Idc about a a gift but no card? no takin me out 2 eat?Which is why i assume she broke up w/ me 1.5week ago.
    She hasn't called me at all. I wont lie i've tried this week cause of the rain and everything got me thinking of her.
    She doesn't have a lot of friends nor does she go out.

    I loved this girl w/ all my heart. I was always their for her when she needed me and everything. FOr her to leave me out esp. at a time where my grandmother is not in good health is really hitting me hard. I'm going out talking to other girls( im 21 ) friends etc. Honestly, tho my heart is sayin be with her but my head is in a whole other world. She wont answer me n if she does i get hanged up on.

    What would be a nice way to explain to her that i'm not doing good in a state of mind. I wake up and just think about her. SO, used to her being thea. She really hates me and idk why. She just left me w/ no answer beside im going through family problems etc etc etc...i said that we both need each other like always and she wasn't feeling that.

    What should i do?  It stinks to know i'm not going to c her again.
    Also, last thing. For some reason one day i'm like f her blah blah next im acting like this.
    Hope for some answers. Have a great day and enjoy the sun! I will once i'm off of work at 430!

    -JD
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: It's been a 1.5weeks and i cant stop... thinking of her

    This is very strange.  You've been together 3 years and you have to assume from her behavior that you broke up 1.5 weeks ago?  If she's so emotionally immature as to "break up" with a 3 year boyfriend by simply ignoring him one day you are truly better off without her.  Listen to your head on this one; you're right.

    It will be hard at first - I know, I'm divorced after a 9 year marriage.  But, life does eventually (quicker than you think) go on.  Grow and learn from where you are now and what you've been through over the 3 years and now with an extremely immature break up with this girl and consider what you saw in her, what wasn't good for you, and what you would want next time around.  Counseling (through a work benefit) helped me figure all that out.  Now, I'm with the right man for me, happily remarried.  I'd have repeated all the same mistakes, though, if I hadn't examined myself thoroughly after the divorce to figure out what I did wrong regarding my first life choice for a mate.

    Best to you as you suffer the immediate pain, move through the stages of healing, and, most importantly, as you figure out where you want to go from here and the type of person you really need.

    ~kar
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from BigWillie2. Show BigWillie2's posts

    Re: It's been a 1.5weeks and i cant stop... thinking of her

    I'm with kargiver on this one. If she doesn't want to talk to you then there's little you can do about that.  It's perfectly normal for you to be hurting and thinking of her constantly, for a while.  It's also normal to blame yourself, even if that is not true, or only partly true. 

    If this is your first real love then it's going to be brutal for a while.   Just keep hanging out with friends when you can, and sometimes even when you don't feel like it.   Things will get better, slowly, but surely.

    The real problem for you is more likely that she will change her mind and want to get back together.  Then flake out again.   Repeat until you're both sick of it.  I'd like to tell you to not go there, make a clean break, but eh, you're young.  You will go back.  It's part of the learning process.   It's not likely you've found the one when you're only 21  She sounds way too immature for that.  All I can tell you is that it gets easier the older you get.  The game playing and uncertainties never totally go away, but there's alot less of that as you move forward.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: It's been a 1.5weeks and i cant stop... thinking of her

    And, I agree wholeheartedly with BW.  I hadn't thought of the whole dance back and forth.  Yup, prepare for it.  She'll undoubtedly come back, but it won't be because she can't live without you.  ...I'd explain it, but you won't believe me.  You'll go back to her thinking she loves you and you'll believe her when she says she made a "terrible mistake <insert sobbing here>."  The worst that happens in cases like this is that you just waste your time in a relationship ulitmately doomed (again and again like BW said), and you get emotionally more messed up and end up with even MORE healing to do after the final breakup with this girl. 

    Or, you could defy the odds and not take her back.  Save yourself.  I know you won't, but it had to be said nonetheless.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from expane. Show expane's posts

    Re: It's been a 1.5weeks and i cant stop... thinking of her

    Whatever you do, DO NOT STALK HER.   If you can't stop thinking about her, time to hit the bottle or start working craigslist.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from chrispatriotsox. Show chrispatriotsox's posts

    Re: It's been a 1.5weeks and i cant stop... thinking of her

    In Response to Re: It's been a 1.5weeks and i cant stop... thinking of her:
    [QUOTE]This is very strange.  You've been together 3 years and you have to assume from her behavior that you broke up 1.5 weeks ago?  If she's so emotionally immature as to "break up" with a 3 year boyfriend by simply ignoring him one day you are truly better off without her.  Listen to your head on this one; you're right. It will be hard at first - I know, I'm divorced after a 9 year marriage.  But, life does eventually (quicker than you think) go on.  Grow and learn from where you are now and what you've been through over the 3 years and now with an extremely immature break up with this girl and consider what you saw in her, what wasn't good for you, and what you would want next time around.  Counseling (through a work benefit) helped me figure all that out.  Now, I'm with the right man for me, happily remarried.  I'd have repeated all the same mistakes, though, if I hadn't examined myself thoroughly after the divorce to figure out what I did wrong regarding my first life choice for a mate. Best to you as you suffer the immediate pain, move through the stages of healing, and, most importantly, as you figure out where you want to go from here and the type of person you really need. ~kar
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]
    my 36yr old GF of 3yrs moved away on me never to be heard from again that was 3yrs ago and am still a mess
     

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