Relationship Advice Needed!

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Relationship Advice Needed!

    No one can say for sure if "I love you" is going to spook him.

    You don't mention anything that makes me think he doesn't care about you.
    Does he listen to you? Does he share his thoughts or feelings? Does he give you attention and affection in other ways?
    The way he treats you should speak volumes. If he shows interest in you and is attentive, then he is showing that he cares.
    You do have every right to tell him that you need him to be more verbal in his affections. If he says that's just not something he can do, you have to decide if that's a deal-breaker for you.

    I would also recommend you go to a cognitive behavioral therapist to work out any insecurity or anxiety issues. Do that for yourself, it will make your life easier in general, not just in romantic relationships. You're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you.

    And don't worry so much about that him needing time to himself. You don't have to blame yourself for that.

    and I think that if you love him, you should tell him. If he doesn't feel the same way, it's going to hurt and it's going to be terrible, but it won't be the end of the world. Don't waste your life waiting, you deserve more than that.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from leah2588. Show leah2588's posts

    Re: Relationship Advice Needed!

    Thank you for your response, I have actually started seeing a counselor.  He is also seeing someone.  I think what happens is we both push our insecurities on the other person, which isn't fair. 

    He's been a little more distant lately, but I think thats because he needed that "me" time for himself.  He used to text me every morning just saying hello, that has become less and less frequent.  Sometimes I just have a hard time determing what are my issues from past relationships, or whether something is actually wrong in the current one. 

    It helps getting second opinions.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Relationship Advice Needed!

    I'd be patient with him at this point.  5 months isn't that long to give someone, especially a guy, to be confident he loves you to the point that he'll say it back.  Try to be relieved that he isn't willing to say those things just to please you - he wants to MEAN them.  That should give you some comfort while you are being patient for now.  If you go another 5 months and nothing has changed, maybe patience isn't the answer, but for now, I think he's worth giving a real chance.  Men, even more than women, HATE to be pushed in matters like this.  They like to feel they came to it on their own and not question their own motives when they do say it.  Be honest with him about how you feel, but don't harp.

    Counseling is a great idea for your insecurity issues.  They probably just won't magically go away one day and stop hurting your relationships.  I got counseling myself and found it vastly helpful.

    GL!

    ~kar
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Relationship Advice Needed!

    good for you. If you miss the morning texts and things like that, don't be afraid to just say so. It's much better to respond to those kinds of things by saying "I miss your morning texts, I really loved that" then to just constantly worrying or asking him if there's something wrong.
    Plus, if he just started seeing a counselor too, he might be going through his own stuff that he doesn't feel comfortable discussing.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Relationship Advice Needed!

    Maybe he was second guessing you and cutting back so you don't think he's TOO into you, like a stalker.  Definitely let him know how you feel so he isn't wondering.  Men can be insecure and nervous in relationships, too!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from catnmouse. Show catnmouse's posts

    Re: Relationship Advice Needed!

    Sounds like a scary point in your relationship.  Lots of deep feelings and insecurities.  I say no matter what keep communication open.  If you miss the morning texts, tell him so.  Be honest with your emotions too, let him know how you feel.  Tell him you want to take things slow, there is no need to rush.  Like kargiver said at least he doesn't just throw around the word love, he seems to want to wait to say it when he means it.  Yay him.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from angelinastones. Show angelinastones's posts

    Re: Relationship Advice Needed!

    oh well, i had the same problem as you are my dear. But the difference is my partner is very vocal in his emotion that everytome i told him " I care for you and I love you". He would answered back "I also care and I love you sweety." It is very nice to feel the that everytime you are with your love. Maybe you and your partner was never been very vocal to your emotions and feelings to each other, that is why when you said that you cared for him he said I know. Because he was shy to tell you the words "i love you".  YOu always give him space for himself so that he wouldn't think that you are irritating, you just don't ned to be insecure because I know you are beautiful and lovely that she fell in love with you. You have to tell him everything you feel and everything you want to say, he will listen and  ask him what do want to ask. Pray to God to help you when both of you are talking.Godbless!
     

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