Re: Should I sleep with him if we are not exclusive?
posted at 8/5/2010 10:10 AM EDT
In Response to Re: Should I sleep with him if we are not exclusive?
[QUOTE]Sex has an emotional impact on everyone, and the risk (not certainty, mind you) of this impact being good is directly proportional to the commitment level in the relationship. This is not due to old fashioned ideas, but due to the fact that the chance of being used just for sex decreases as the relationship matures. Nobody likes feeling used whether they are old fashioned, religious, or otherwise. It takes more than a few conversations for a relationship and the trust therein to mature.
Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]
Right, but you can't be used if you're also using. That's the point. What's right for one person isn't right for everyone else, and we all have our own attachments and hang-ups when it comes to sex. That's why it's so important to be honest and open about it.
That's why being completely frank and honest is really the way to go. So if he wants something casual and nothing more, he should say so and not lead you on otherwise. If you want something casual and nothing more, you should say so and not lead him on otherwise. Or if you want something serious, say so. Or he wants something serious, he should say so.
That way everyone knows what they're getting into and no one feels used.
You do what you want when you want to and when you're ready. You don't listen to what anyone else has to say about it.
Whether it be 2 dates, 20 dates or 200 dates. It's your choice, and if the person you're dating doesn't agree, dump them.
Alf- while you may not know anyone else who shares my experience, I do. It's not a supernatural occurrence, especially for my generation. So many couples I know met in college and got together thinking it would be a fling, but it turned into something more. Love can surprise you that way. It finds you when you're least expecting it and not even looking for it.