Soul Mates. Do you believe?

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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    Why do you hate dogs, RogerTaylor?
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    I married my soul mate and we have been together for more than 40 years. I believe in soul mates.
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    RT, I meant "everything to do with sex" with that non-all-inclusive choice of words.  I meant that there has to be a healthy sexual component to a healthy relationship.
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    Rogertaylor, I define "soul mate" as a person you connect with on every level, physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. Someone who completes you, who off sets both your strengths and your weaknesses, someone who is so in tune with you that he or she knows what you are thinking before you even need to say it, someone who understands and embraces your imperfections.
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    Sounds like you define soul mate as a person who is super duper compatible with you.  I think we, as a society, settle for people who we're kind of copatible with that we allow ourselves to fall in love with (at least for a time) instead of holding our relationship ground and waiting for someone we have a chance of spending a lifetime with due to being super compatible and in love with.
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    I don't believe in soulmates in the usual sense, at least for me, but my husband and I have almost what beach lady describes. I just wouldn't use the term the same way. The people I know who say they are soulmates are more "joined at the hip" people who do everything together and have the same life philosophy; we have very independent lives and dispute politics all the time. We aren't even the same religion, although we have the same ethics and values for the most part.
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe? : No, not "super duper" - I really am curious about beachlady and her "soul mate" - 40 years puts her in a different generation than mine.  Maybe that's why I'm a sceptic on the topic.  I hope she responds to my questions. I never thought of looking for someone, as you put it, who is super compatible. I consider myself to be quite amiable with others and can get along with just about anyone but, I do have my limits.
    Posted by RogerTaylor


    Getting along and being naturally compatible, meaning (in part) that your strengths and weaknesses compliment each other, are two VASTLY different things.  Seeing being amiable and being compatible as the same thing is where you've gone wrong, imho.  

    When I took the personality test on eHarmony, they gave me a hypothetical personality profile of the person they'd be looking for.  My DH ended up being that guy to a T.  So, add chemistry, and we've got it, the practically mythical great marriage.

    Compatibility gives you a puzzle piece that fits into yours.  Saying any relationship should work with you because you're so amiable would be like putting together a puzzle in a haphazard way, just putting pieces together that don't really go and then wondering why you don't end up with the picture on the box.
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    That's because there's no such thing as the absence of conflict.  Either the conflict is visible or invisible, but it's there.  The fact that it was invisible was actually the problem.
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    Not demanding (of myself) compatibility in a mate was the downfall of my first marriage.  I thought it was a myth, but it isn't, you just have to be patient (or join eHarmony).

    My fighting style is the same as the rest of my communication style.  Direct, no frills, matter of fact.  I compromise when it makes sense to me and I do not when it doesn't.  For instance, I did not compromise and fought tooth and nail against doing things on the "restricted" list for the dog after her knee surgery.  He wanted to push it every step of the way, risking complete destruction of the surgical work (plate, screws, the works).  We argued constantly over it because I refused to say, "Let's compromise.  When you're watching her, she can jump off the 4 ft rock wall too early (a specific thing we were told NOT to do before 12 weeks) and risk that she'll undo $4000 worth of surgery not to mention need $4000 more to repair the damage if it's even possible at that point.  When I'm watching her, I'll make sure she doesn't."  However, I'm perfectly happy to compromise on other things.  He asked me to replace her collar with a red one.  I like pink.  I bought red and "love it," even though it clashes horribly with her raspberry pink harness (and, yes, it matters to me even if you think it's stupid that it does).  I compromise with our spending using cash vs. credit.  I believe in 100% use of the credit card - we get 1% cash back so we'd pay 99% of everything instead of 100% among other pros like tracking spending, having recourse if we're ripped off, etc.  He's pro cash all the way.  I don't give him a hard time about it because who cares, really, despite all the reasons I think he should do it the way I do.

    Does that answer your question?  Not sure...

    ETA:  ARGH!  This time stamp thing better be resolved when the clocks change.  Anyway, in case you haven't figured it out, this was posted at 10:44, after you asked me if I compromise.  I'm not actually clairvoyant.
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    Jesus, Joseph and Mary, RT, will you please get a new avatar?
    Posted by reindeergirl

    It is disturbing.  I liked looking at Mr. Big. :)

     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    Jesus, Joseph and Mary, RT, will you please get a new avatar?
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe? : ....is this any better?????
    Posted by RogerTaylor


    Thank you.
     
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    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe? : ....is this any better?????
    Posted by RogerTaylor

    Please bring back Mr. Big.  Please.

     
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