Soul Mates. Do you believe?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    Why do you hate dogs, RogerTaylor?
     
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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    Why do you hate dogs, RogerTaylor?
    Posted by reindeergirl


    Nowhere did I post that "I hate dogs!"

    FYI....I worked part time in a pet store as a kid for 4 years dogs/cats/birds/reptiles/fish/rodents.....

    Read my earlier post about the "rag doll" breed of cat.................

    Laughing
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe? : If you can laugh at it, and yourself, then you aren't bitter. If you really feel like that in your heart, and you spew it to everyone you can, especially all the women you meet, then you've got problems. Given what I've learned from you and about you on these forums, I'm guessing you're chuckling.
    Posted by cb156


    I'm laughing for two reasons (1) that you know me that well and (2) I had to parent the parent today!  If I didn't laugh I would have slit my wrist's today...lol

    Hope you have a great weekend.....Laughing
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from thebeachlady. Show thebeachlady's posts

    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    I married my soul mate and we have been together for more than 40 years. I believe in soul mates.
     
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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    I married my soul mate and we have been together for more than 40 years. I believe in soul mates.
    Posted by thebeachlady


    Ok, so I have to ask...How do you, thebeachlady, define soul mate?

    Thank you
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    RT, I meant "everything to do with sex" with that non-all-inclusive choice of words.  I meant that there has to be a healthy sexual component to a healthy relationship.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from thebeachlady. Show thebeachlady's posts

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    Rogertaylor, I define "soul mate" as a person you connect with on every level, physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. Someone who completes you, who off sets both your strengths and your weaknesses, someone who is so in tune with you that he or she knows what you are thinking before you even need to say it, someone who understands and embraces your imperfections.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    Rogertaylor, I define "soul mate" as a person you connect with on every level, physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. Someone who completes you, who off sets both your strengths and your weaknesses, someone who is so in tune with you that he or she knows what you are thinking before you even need to say it, someone who understands and embraces your imperfections.
    Posted by thebeachlady


    Ok! sort of like a "Wonder Twins" kinda thing....got cha (attempt @ humor!)

    Did you wait for him - your "soul mate" - or did you just happen to meet one day??? Where?

    How long (months, days, years) did it take for you to realise he was your soul mate???

    As a non-believer in SM's, I'm curious...

    Laughing
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    Sounds like you define soul mate as a person who is super duper compatible with you.  I think we, as a society, settle for people who we're kind of copatible with that we allow ourselves to fall in love with (at least for a time) instead of holding our relationship ground and waiting for someone we have a chance of spending a lifetime with due to being super compatible and in love with.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    Sounds like you define soul mate as a person who is super duper compatible with you.  I think we, as a society, settle for people who we're kind of copatible with that we allow ourselves to fall in love with (at least for a time) instead of holding our relationship ground and waiting for someone we have a chance of spending a lifetime with due to being super compatible and in love with.
    Posted by kargiver


    No, not "super duper" - I really am curious about beachlady and her "soul mate" - 40 years puts her in a different generation than mine.  Maybe that's why I'm a sceptic on the topic.  I hope she responds to my questions.

    I never thought of looking for someone, as you put it, who is super compatible. I consider myself to be quite amiable with others and can get along with just about anyone but, I do have my limits.

    Wink
     
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    I don't believe in soulmates in the usual sense, at least for me, but my husband and I have almost what beach lady describes. I just wouldn't use the term the same way. The people I know who say they are soulmates are more "joined at the hip" people who do everything together and have the same life philosophy; we have very independent lives and dispute politics all the time. We aren't even the same religion, although we have the same ethics and values for the most part.
     
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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe? : No, not "super duper" - I really am curious about beachlady and her "soul mate" - 40 years puts her in a different generation than mine.  Maybe that's why I'm a sceptic on the topic.  I hope she responds to my questions. I never thought of looking for someone, as you put it, who is super compatible. I consider myself to be quite amiable with others and can get along with just about anyone but, I do have my limits.
    Posted by RogerTaylor


    Getting along and being naturally compatible, meaning (in part) that your strengths and weaknesses compliment each other, are two VASTLY different things.  Seeing being amiable and being compatible as the same thing is where you've gone wrong, imho.  

    When I took the personality test on eHarmony, they gave me a hypothetical personality profile of the person they'd be looking for.  My DH ended up being that guy to a T.  So, add chemistry, and we've got it, the practically mythical great marriage.

    Compatibility gives you a puzzle piece that fits into yours.  Saying any relationship should work with you because you're so amiable would be like putting together a puzzle in a haphazard way, just putting pieces together that don't really go and then wondering why you don't end up with the picture on the box.
     
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  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    That's because there's no such thing as the absence of conflict.  Either the conflict is visible or invisible, but it's there.  The fact that it was invisible was actually the problem.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    Not demanding (of myself) compatibility in a mate was the downfall of my first marriage.  I thought it was a myth, but it isn't, you just have to be patient (or join eHarmony).

    My fighting style is the same as the rest of my communication style.  Direct, no frills, matter of fact.  I compromise when it makes sense to me and I do not when it doesn't.  For instance, I did not compromise and fought tooth and nail against doing things on the "restricted" list for the dog after her knee surgery.  He wanted to push it every step of the way, risking complete destruction of the surgical work (plate, screws, the works).  We argued constantly over it because I refused to say, "Let's compromise.  When you're watching her, she can jump off the 4 ft rock wall too early (a specific thing we were told NOT to do before 12 weeks) and risk that she'll undo $4000 worth of surgery not to mention need $4000 more to repair the damage if it's even possible at that point.  When I'm watching her, I'll make sure she doesn't."  However, I'm perfectly happy to compromise on other things.  He asked me to replace her collar with a red one.  I like pink.  I bought red and "love it," even though it clashes horribly with her raspberry pink harness (and, yes, it matters to me even if you think it's stupid that it does).  I compromise with our spending using cash vs. credit.  I believe in 100% use of the credit card - we get 1% cash back so we'd pay 99% of everything instead of 100% among other pros like tracking spending, having recourse if we're ripped off, etc.  He's pro cash all the way.  I don't give him a hard time about it because who cares, really, despite all the reasons I think he should do it the way I do.

    Does that answer your question?  Not sure...

    ETA:  ARGH!  This time stamp thing better be resolved when the clocks change.  Anyway, in case you haven't figured it out, this was posted at 10:44, after you asked me if I compromise.  I'm not actually clairvoyant.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    "Seeing being amiable and being compatible as the same thing is where you've gone wrong, imho."

    the comment AFTER saying I'm amiable is - I do have my limits, which is meant to say/read as I get along with most but not all.

    Being "amiable" is a part of being "compatible" IMHO - they are not one and the same.  I'm not looking for the perfect match or soul mate.  I think the differences between two people can only make things more interesting - in most cases. 


    Conflict "can" be a good thing in a relationship - what's your fighting style? How do you resolve an "issue"? Do you compromise?

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    Jesus, Joseph and Mary, RT, will you please get a new avatar?
    Posted by reindeergirl

    It is disturbing.  I liked looking at Mr. Big. :)

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    Jesus, Joseph and Mary, RT, will you please get a new avatar?
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe? : It is disturbing.  I liked looking at Mr. Big. :)
    Posted by kargiver


    ....is this any better?????

    Wink
     
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  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe? : ....is this any better?????
    Posted by RogerTaylor


    Thank you.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe? : ....is this any better?????
    Posted by RogerTaylor

    Please bring back Mr. Big.  Please.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlleyCatBruin. Show AlleyCatBruin's posts

    Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?

    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    Rogertaylor, I define "soul mate" as a person you connect with on every level, physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. Someone who completes you, who off sets both your strengths and your weaknesses, someone who is so in tune with you that he or she knows what you are thinking before you even need to say it, someone who understands and embraces your imperfections.
    Posted by thebeachlady

    Beachlady,
    Sorry to jump into this thread. But your definition of soulmate is spot on.  Thanks for posting that.  
    ACB
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlleyCatBruin. Show AlleyCatBruin's posts

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    In Response to Re: Soul Mates. Do you believe?:
    My biggest mistake in love was believing that the absence of conflict meant my relationship was strong. Agree that amiability is not the same thing as compatibility.
    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick

    Hey CHC,
    Does the presence of conflict mean that a relationship is weak? Just curious. You seem to be very smart and I find this topic to be very interesting, due to a recent experience.
    Thx.
    ACB
     
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