Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/18/2011 6:45 PM EST
- plasko
- Posts: 670
- First: 5/31/2010
- Last: 11/20/2012
I suppose it depends on the situation.
Maybe its considered the polite thing to do in the situation if big hints were dropped, or if they are unsure about you when drunk its better to have it rather than not have it. Possibly with a more sober head or after thinking things through the mind is changed.
Or they went to your Facebook page in the meantime and did not like something they saw?
Could be a million reasons for a million different people. You can't second guess these things so its best to just let it go. Not calling can hardly be classed as malicious now.
I doubt getting a phone number is considered a challenge. Getting between the sheets now, a different story altogether to some guys.....
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 7:30 AM EST
- JEnvie
- Posts: 200
- First: 10/13/2008
- Last: 2/2/2012
i think its cause they dont have the balls to simply call it a night
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 8:26 AM EST
- kargiver
- Posts: 21660
- First: 10/17/2005
- Last: 5/19/2013
I agree with JE - it's an easy, yet cowardly, way to high tail it out of there.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 9:34 AM EST
I'd need more context before I'd even attempt a guess. Real life or online, alcohol involved or not, etc. I'm with plasko, there could be a million different reasons. But the one constant in all your bad encounters (it's me, BigWillie) tru, is you. Maybe you should try a George Costanza do-the-opposite of what your instincts are telling you to do, and see if that works.
All I know is that I'm personally not in the habit of saying things I don't mean, and there are plenty of other like-minded guys out there. Tweak your approach.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 9:56 AM EST
- kargiver
- Posts: 21660
- First: 10/17/2005
- Last: 5/19/2013
But it's 100% up to the guy at that point. Under any just about any set of circumstances, if they mean to call when they take the number, they will call. If they don't mean to call when they take the number, they won't.
You might be bold enough to say, "It's been great talking with you, but I'm calling it a night," and if she offers her number you say, "You know, I'm just not interested enough in you to call so I'm not going to take it." But, I think most guys would say, "Sure, I'll take it," so they don't hurt her feelings at the moment while they are there to witness it. They take it and toss it, hurting her feelings after they are long out of the picture and don't have to see her crestfallen face.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 9:58 AM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
- First: 9/8/2009
- Last: 9/1/2011
I tend to think its a "heat of the moment" kind of thing and then the next day when the alcohol or whatever wears off its put on the back burner but really, who the hell knows how to get inside of someone's head? its all just speculation. Calm never calls.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 10:45 AM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
- First: 1/6/2006
- Last: 12/4/2012
Aries, I get nervous and shy. I also think Tru has given out a few false numbers too.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 10:52 AM EST
- trublusu
- Posts: 4143
- First: 7/10/2006
- Last: 1/31/2011
I wasn't even really that interested....I gave it to him just to be polite since he asked and to "take a chance" as people keep telling me to do. Ugh....why bother?
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 11:12 AM EST
- kargiver
- Posts: 21660
- First: 10/17/2005
- Last: 5/19/2013
You do it and ask why guys do it? I'm confused.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 11:14 AM EST
- trublusu
- Posts: 4143
- First: 7/10/2006
- Last: 1/31/2011
If I had asked for someones number I would call them.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 11:30 AM EST
In Response to
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????:
But it's 100% up to the guy at that point. Under any just about any set of circumstances, if they mean to call when they take the number, they will call. If they don't mean to call when they take the number, they won't. You might be bold enough to say, "It's been great talking with you, but I'm calling it a night," and if she offers her number you say, "You know, I'm just not interested enough in you to call so I'm not going to take it." But, I think most guys would say, "Sure, I'll take it," so they don't hurt her feelings at the moment while they are there to witness it. They take it and toss it, hurting her feelings after they are long out of the picture and don't have to see her crestfallen face.
Posted by kargiver
I never offered my number if it wasn't asked for. In that case, I'd ask for their number.
"Would you like my number?" always sounds like "I'm interested in you, but I'd rather have you call me because I'm insecure." to me. Which is yucky.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 11:32 AM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
- First: 9/8/2009
- Last: 9/1/2011
In Response to
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????:
I wasn't even really that interested....I gave it to him just to be polite since he asked and to "take a chance" as people keep telling me to do. Ugh....why bother?
Posted by trublusu
Don't stop taking chances Tru, just have realistic expectations about the outcome of things. I don't set the bar awfully high so that I don't get as disappointed if someone is less than I want them to be but I am pleasantly surprised if someone actually steps up to the plate and is consistent in what they say and do. This approach doesn't always work for me but I try.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 11:59 AM EST
- trublusu
- Posts: 4143
- First: 7/10/2006
- Last: 1/31/2011
In Response to
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????:
In Response to Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call???? : Don't stop taking chances Tru, just have realistic expectations about the outcome of things. I don't set the bar awfully high so that I don't get as disappointed if someone is less than I want them to be but I am pleasantly surprised if someone actually steps up to the plate and is consistent in what they say and do. This approach doesn't always work for me but I try.
Posted by ariesgirl
Yep Aries...that is what I'm am trying to do...had he actually followed through and called my interest would have peaked dramatically, but now I just feel stupid giving out my number.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 12:12 PM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
- First: 9/8/2009
- Last: 9/1/2011
Lather, rinse, repeat............ his loss!
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 1:15 PM EST
In Response to
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????:
In Response to Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call???? : Yep Aries...that is what I'm am trying to do...had he actually followed through and called my interest would have peaked dramatically, but now I just feel stupid giving out my number.
Posted by trublusu
Maybe he picked up on your apparent lack of enthusiasm for the process and decided on the spot to let it go. Probably just as well since mind reading is apparently one of your requirements and he failed that test. Gadzooks, you stink at this! You can't dump it all at the feet of the guys you're running into.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 1:39 PM EST
- trublusu
- Posts: 4143
- First: 7/10/2006
- Last: 1/31/2011
Slim...that doesn't even make sense....if you ask for a number and say your gonna call then you call...it's not rocket science....it's shows sincerity which is something I think most guys and gals do require. I don't think it's asking too much to at the very least be sincere when you say something.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 1:39 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
- First: 1/6/2006
- Last: 12/4/2012
Aries, will Tru ever find Mr. Right? Does she need to lower that bar thing you talked about?
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 1:46 PM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
- First: 9/8/2009
- Last: 9/1/2011
In Response to
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????:
Aries, will Tru ever find Mr. Right? Does she need to lower that bar thing you talked about?
Posted by calmdown
Honey, if I had not lowered that bar, you and I would not be doing the limbo.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 1:59 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
- First: 1/6/2006
- Last: 12/4/2012
Aries, I appreciate that you have lowered the bar for me and many others but do you really think Tru is shooting too high? I worry, sleepness nights.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 2:23 PM EST
- trublusu
- Posts: 4143
- First: 7/10/2006
- Last: 1/31/2011
In Response to
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????:
Aries, I appreciate that you have lowered the bar for me and many others but do you really think Tru is shooting too high? I worry, sleepness nights.
Posted by calmdown
It's not shooting too high to ask for simple sincerity. I like the view calm....it's calming.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 2:31 PM EST
Tru doesn't have to lower the bar, I do have some of her backstory and have seen some pics, she's a catch. She just has to improve her game.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 2:42 PM EST
- ariesgirl
- Posts: 299
- First: 9/8/2009
- Last: 9/1/2011
She is a catch. I've met her. some things just defy logic! dating is one of them.
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 2:44 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
- First: 1/6/2006
- Last: 12/4/2012
So what is keeping this "catch" from getting scooped up by a Calmwannabe? Think people. Aries, be honest. Is it that bar thing? Should she visit more bars?
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 2:45 PM EST
- calmdown
- Posts: 2430
- First: 1/6/2006
- Last: 12/4/2012
Aries, it's pretty obvious her next move is to go on the Bachelor
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????
posted at 1/19/2011 2:48 PM EST
In Response to
Re: Why do they ask for your number and never call????:
She is a catch. I've met her. some things just defy logic! dating is one of them.
Posted by ariesgirl
And you, are you still an Aries or should you be moving to a new PiscesGirl handle?
