Charity question

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Charity question

    I look at the "no gifts" thing like this:

    When I was growing up I was told to never, EVER, address an adult by their first name.
    But, some of my friends' parents would insist on being called by their first name.
    So what do I do: Do I continue calling them by their last name, as my parents' standard of etiquette dictated, or do I respect their wishes and call them what they want to becalled?
    No-brainer. Respect their wishes.
    At first it made me uncomfortable, but it would be more uncomfortable to go against their wishes.

    So someone saying "No gifts." to me is like a professor, boss, doctor or elder telling me "Please, call me by my first name."
    They're not trying to make me uncomfortable, they're telling me what makes them comfortable. And I should respect that.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Charity question

    Of course, and I gave kudos to the OP for doing exactly that gracious thing when the issue came up.  I'd do the same thing.  And, as a kid I also called people by their first name if they insisted.  But, I think children should not be given the opportunity to call adults by their first name.  And, I think couples should leave it to guests whether they want to give a gift or not without interfering by making a request for no gifts.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Charity question

    But my point is that you really can't call it rude to request what makes you comfortable.
    I don't think that any of my college professors who asked me to address them by their first name as opposed to Professor Smith or Doctor Smith were rude to do so. They were doing what made them comfortable, and trying to keep things less formal. That's not really rude.


    I just feel like this another one of those things that's a rule for rule's sake only. Like it's arbitrary.

    In Response to Re: Charity question:
    [QUOTE]But, I think children should not be given the opportunity to call adults by their first name.  Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dani273. Show Dani273's posts

    Re: Charity question

    Hello everyone....
    I am the original poster of this and WOW! I did not expect all this response. You all certainly gave different views to this that I wasn't expecting, but I certainly appreciate and respect each opinion. I am definatley going to do as the bride has requested and give a donation, but I will also show up there with a small token gift and a card....probably a bottle of whine or champaigne. It is a donation to the charity of MY choice, so I have decided to donate to the March of Dimes. Being the mother of a "special needs" child, it is a charity close to my heart. To the defence of my friends getting married, this is an unusual situation because the couple involved are marrying each other AGAIN! Wow! How lucky are their children! We are all very happy for them and are just excited about this whole situation. What are the odds of that? I am sure that this whole charity thing came about because most guests were there the first time they got married and they really are trying not to make a big deal of it. They really just wanted all of us there to share in their happy day. My friend is very kind hearted and I am glad to do as the couple wishes. I just wrote in because I was not sure how to go about it and I wanted to make sure that I did the right thing with the donation card. I am looking forward to this event and again, I want to thank you all very much for your insight.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Charity question

    Ok, that totally changes things, Dani.  If they are getting married to each other for the second time, they should not be suggesting any gifts of any kind.  That's horrible!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Charity question

    I hope you don't give them a bottle of "whine" - they'll have plenty of that after the honeymoon. ;)  (Sorry, it was too funny to just let go!) LOL

    They are remarrying each other?  Wow, I hope they aren't seeing the marriage through the rose colored glasses that time generally provides.  Best wishes to them as they try again!!
     

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