Details you could do without

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    Ceremony programs - we had a full Catholic mass. People either are Catholic and know what is  going on, or they don't care.  They don't need to know. There are missals in the pews for people who want to follow along. No one cares who the BMs are - they either know who they are, or they never met them before and are unlikely to meet them again.  These are waste of time and paper.

    Favors - no one wants them.  People tolerate them if htey are edible, but otherwise it's just junk to cart home. Put the money into an open bar which people will appreciate more. If they want a memento of hte wedding, they can bring a camera and take a picture. 

    Extra toss bouquets. If you are going to toss your bouquet, toss it; don't get a special bouquet so that you can make sure yours doesn't get 'damaged'.

    Welcome bags for OOT guests.  They managed to get to the town of the wedding location. Unless they are hermits, they can figure out how to find food before the reception. There is always room service and the concerierge can get them a map of the area.  Unless they are staying in some place seriously low budget, the hotel will supply them w/ advil, shampoo and soap. 

    "Fun" activities at the reception. This includes photobooths, chocolate fountains, traveling minstrels, etc.  Provide your guests w/ tasty food, drink and appropriate music. They will find a way to entertain themselves and have fun w/o having to participate in novel events. 

    Ginormous limo or a fleet of rental cars w/ drivers to bring the entire wedding party and parents to the church. We did one 6 person limo.  It took me and my 3 BMs to the church. After the wedding, it took DH and me to the reception venue. The BMs and everyone else in the party got rides w/ other people. You need to have cars at the reception venue for all these folks when the reception is over, so why pay to have the limo sit around to drive them back to their vehicles?  Have the groomsmen and parents drive separately.  This saved us several hundreds of dollars.   

    I'm sure there are tons of other things, but those spring to mind. Now back to work for me. :-)
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    Here's another vote for not having programs.  Weddings are not that hard to follow, and when an officient says, "all stand," or "please be seated," everyone really ought to not be too lost.  LOL  We didn't have programs, and no one cared.  (I did have the words to a hymn printed, though, because there weren't any hymnals in the pews.)

    A big wedding party isn't necessary.  Our only having had a MOH and Best Man eliminated tons of drama and expense for everyone involved.

    I agree with all of ALF's - we didn't have or miss any of those things.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    I agree on the programs, didn't have them and didn't miss them. and they just get tossed at the end of the night anyway.

    picture photo frame favors-I don't have pictures that small to put one in that would fit.

    I went to an OOT wedding where we got welcome bags and I kind of liked them. Room service is expensive and when you don't know your way around, having water and a few snacks is kind of nice. But i guess it all depends on what you put in the bags.

    and I happen to think chocolate fountains are tasty food but that may be because we had one :-)
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from allreadymarried. Show allreadymarried's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    OOT bags I think are a very nice touch and very much appreciated.

    Honestly what I think you could do without and what someone else does can be 100% different. 

    Someone is going to be offended when we list something they NEEDED.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    Bathroom baskets are also unnecessary.  My MOH prepared one, but no one touched it. And it was the bathroom basket to end all bathroom baskets.  She really covered all the bases.

    Maybe I just travel a lot for work, or am low maintenance, but I manage to find food and carry extra aspirin on my own 365 days of the year; I'm not going to become helpless and clueless [well not any more helpless or clueless than I am on the other 364 days of the year] just b/c I'm attending someone's wedding.   Unless you are in the middle of nowhere, people should be able to shift for themselves for all times other than the 6 or 7 hours of the day where you have  them covered. 

    If people want to go above and beyond and provide special bags, brunches and whatnot, that's great.  But it's not necessary.  We provided a dinner the night before the wedding w/ a full bar, gave people recommendations for hotels close to the reception venue, provided detailed driving directions, and then provided a nice meal, full bar and live band at the reception.  If people wanted anything beyond what we were hosting, they could use their brains or the concereirge to find what they were looking for. 
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from simon08. Show simon08's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    Agree with all of the above!  I did not do programs, bathroom baskets (had an emergency kit for bridal party only), no extra bouquet for tossing and if you want to do favors you can for very little money and if it is a food item it will go to better use than something that people will toss - if they even take it! 

    there are many areas to cut back on and think of your own experiences at weddings and what you thought was worth it - I never took or read programs because you normally know most of the wedding party anyway - and being an "older" bride with "older" friends most married did not want to do bouquet toss to embarrass anyone

    spend the little extra on food - and people will enjoy it! 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from zenbat. Show zenbat's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    This is very useful. I was just worrying about whether or not I could get away with no favors and no OOT bags. (Thanks to FMIL, out of town guests are getting a duck tour, welcome dinner, and breakfast after wedding.) I'd like to save some money on something, somehow, and I don't want to give out mediocre favors just to give something out.

    I can do without bouquet and garter tosses--usually they just seem to end up uncomfortable. Last wedding I went to, my 9 yr old cousin caught the garter.

    Personally I like ceremony programs: something to kill time waiting for the ceremony, can be used as a (not-so-effective) fan, good souvenir, now useful for ceremony ideas. Programs are also good if the ceremony is likely to be unfamiliar to many guests (mine is going to be a buddhist weddidng with guest participation, for example).


     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    Zenbat - I did cheap welcome bags for OOT guests: two bottles of water, two packets of crackers, some candy and salt water taffy (we were on the Cape).  I included a quick timeline of events: ceremony at 10 with church address and reception at 12 with address, a list of our favorite places in the area (where we met, where we had our first date) and finally we were providing buses to the reception so no one had to drive so there was information about that.

    I bought all of the stuff for the bags in bulk at BJs and quickly put them together.  In the end it didn't cost us much and I thought it was a nice touch. 

    Although, I do agree with the other posts, the are not necessary but if you have a few extra bucks and want them you can find a way to make them affordable.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rirlo01. Show Rirlo01's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    Based on what I consider standard for weddings, the typical stuff I skipped includes favors, bouquet/garter, and floral centerpieces*.  We also had no menus (do most people?  my experience has been 50%), and while our bar was open and included liquor in addition to soda, beer and wine, we limited the selections to pretty basic brands, nothing from the top shelf.  If I'd know then what I know now, I'd skip having my make-up done professionally.  My DH prefers my natural look, and by the time I finished stressing that to my MUA, she applied so little, I probably should have done it myself and saved the money.  (And, yeah, I still showed up in the pics and everything.  haha)

    It's bound to be different for each of us, and I respect that some people needed the things I went without or would go without were I to go back in time and do it again. 

    * To be fair, we had them, we didn't pay for them, as *very* basic centerpieces were included in our room rental fee.  They were not ours to keep, and our venue (also a restaurant) had them on the tables all week.  Their agreement is that whichever basic little flowers they'd have in the table vases that week, anyway, can be in the bride's choice of color.  If you hire a florist to do more, they move the standard flowers of the week out for the night. 

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from spinningwheel. Show spinningwheel's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    I second Alf's first post completely.  I had no programs, no favors, no wedding party (though I bought presents for my friends who would have been my bridesmaids because of everything they did to make my wedding and planning amazing).  I did OOT bags because I always really appreciate those bottles of water the next morning!  No toss bouquet, no garter (but those weren't financial decisions).  No limo or other rented transportation.  Actually, one of my favorite wedding night moments was walking back (in my dress, with my husband and friends) from the Museum to the hotel for late-night drinks!  

    Just good food, good drinks, good music, and good people!  
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    In Response to Re: Details you could do without:
    [QUOTE]I second Alf's first post completely.  I had no programs, no favors, no wedding party (though I bought presents for my friends who would have been my bridesmaids because of everything they did to make my wedding and planning amazing).  I did OOT bags because I always really appreciate those bottles of water the next morning!  No toss bouquet, no garter (but those weren't financial decisions).  No limo or other rented transportation.  Actually, one of my favorite wedding night moments was walking back (in my dress, with my husband and friends) from the Museum to the hotel for late-night drinks!   Just good food, good drinks, good music, and good people!  
    Posted by spinningwheel[/QUOTE]
    Spinning- did you have your wedding at the MOS? How was it, I don't think I ever asked you! 

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Christinymarini. Show Christinymarini's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    I love this post!  A lot of these things are the little things I have been stressing about recently with the wedding just over 4 months away! 

    I've never been a huge fan of the morning after brunch, even as a guest so I'm glad to hear that others don't think it's necessary.  I was leaning toward not doing one. 


    Also, I can't seem to find favors that aren't cheesy... my venue doesn't allow edible favors. 


    I will probably do OOT bags since I always appreciate the post-wedding snack or bottle of water. 

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    We skipped favors too.  In general they are a waste of money.  However we did receive one wedding favor that we held on to and have used more than once: a coozie.  The coozie said "To have and to hold and to keep your drink cold" on one side and the bride and groom's names and date on the other side.  They were perfect for at the weeding because the bar didn't have any beer on tap so most people were holding bottles and we've used them since.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    Great thread!  This will be helpful for a lot of brides!

    For us, we skipped the bouquet and garter toss.  I think the garter toss is so outdated and I've never seen it done tastefully (it is usually the most obnoxious part of a the wedding when I've seen it done).  I like the bouquet toss, but getting married a bit older, my friends are of the age where being singled out for being single isn't fun anymore.  :)

    We also skipped the mother/son and father/daughter dances.  Again, we're older so we planned and paid for the entire wedding ourselves.  Also our families were not supportive of us for years, so I wasn't comfortable doing it.  Even if you do these (since I know they are a nice tradition when you do have a supportive family), I tend to hate it when there are a LOT of extra "special" dances.  We saw one wedding where there were like 5 extra: grandparents, bride+mom, wedding party dance, etc, etc.  Guests get tired of watching after a while.

    We also skipped the bathroom baskets.  That was one detail I had no time for, didn't want to waste money on and I rarely actually see them used.  So they just seem like a big waste.  Actually, I never realized that the bride did them at weddings I had been to in the past until I started planning my own wedding.  I always figured the hotel provided that stuff!  :)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    I'm not married yet, but I will be in 29 days.  We are not having a limo and we are getting married at the same venue as the reception.  We have one attendant each so the cost of flowers (though it's Valentine's weekend) isn't bad.  We are having a dear friend marry us, it's only $35 to use this option.  We are having favors but they will be attached with the sitting assignment so I think it will work out well.  We are having a buffet which was less expensive then the plated meal.  We are getting married in the winter which was also less expensive..but I loved the idea of Hawaii in February.  I've decided to skip programs, which is hard for me since I love designing stuff on the computer.  No bouquet/garter toss.  We are having an Anniversary dance where the longest married couple will win a bottle of champagne though. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    No favors, OOT Bags. Keep the center pieces simple, and low. No garter/bouquet toss. Bathroom baskets are unnecessary.

    Programs have their place, we explained some cultural things that even with a more mainstream background (Irish) some people don't know are old traditions.

    Simple bouquets-They're visible for a few minutes in the ceremony, then rarely again all night long.

    Never been to a wedding with the photobooths, candy bar, chocolate fountain...not sure I'd want to take time away from dancing for these activities.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    agree with a lot of what already been said. we didn't do programs, garter, bouquet toss, floral centerpieces, OOT bags, and I only did favors because I got them dirt cheap and wanted to do shell leis as part of the receiving line.

    OOT bags aren't necessary unless you're going to be somewhere remote or really hard to get around.

    I skipped flowers all together because they weren't important to me. I made my bouquets and centerpieces myself using paper and other craft supplies. But you can carry anything, not just bouquets. Lanterns, bells, basket, books, or nothing at all!

    Other things I think you can skip:

    -special table linens. A white table cloth will always do just fine, don't pay extra for your color unless you really, really want to.

    -chair covers. unless they're rusty folding chairs, no one will notice what your chairs look like.

    -special cake cutting set or toasting glasses. if you get them as a gift, great, but don't register for them or buy them on your own unless you really, really want to.

    -DJ- if you're into music, have an iPod and have a good stereo or know someone with a good stereo, you can make a playlist on your own and skip having a DJ.
    I used my iPod, a bose stereo, created a few separate play lists for the ceremony, 1st dance, etc. and my brother volunteered to push the buttons at the right time. I was in the huge main gallery of the New England Aquarium and the space was filled with music. No big fancy speakers necessary. I rented a mic from the NEAQ and our coordinator made any necessary announcements, my uncle volenteered to make announcements in case the coordinator was unable to. Again, if you really, really want a DJ, get one. But it's not necessary.
    To make it fun for guests I emailed and asked for requests- favorite songs or songs that were special to them and downloaded them to put them in the reception mix. The total cost was $50 for the mic.
    It worked out better than I thought it would. People were into it.

    - big crazy cake. A small show cake will do for cutting, get some plain sheet cake for the guests.
    or you could do pie, like my good friend did.
    or you do cupcakes like a lot of people are doing.
    or a candy buffet.
    or a sundae buffet.
    or you could put a small one layer cake on each table instead of a centerpiece, it could even have the table number written on it in frosting or those big number candles they sell at every party store and grocery store. Two birds with one stone!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from zenbat. Show zenbat's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    In Response to Re: Details you could do without:
    [QUOTE]I used my iPod, a bose stereo, created a few separate play lists for the ceremony, 1st dance, etc. and my brother volunteered to push the buttons at the right time. I was in the huge main gallery of the New England Aquarium and the space was filled with music.
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    I'm quite relieved to hear that the iPod and volunteers worked out so well for you. That's what I'm doing. I'm hoping to get lots of song requests by putting a line in for that on the invitation response cards.

    I'm going with cupcakes. I know it's very trendy (passe already?) and a sheet cake would be fine, but with cupcakes I can get more flavors! Also, hoping to save on the cutting fee.

    Pies would make nice centerpieces too, though who knows if they'd be still there by dessert time.

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from spinningwheel. Show spinningwheel's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    In Response to Re: Details you could do without:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Details you could do without : Spinning- did you have your wedding at the MOS? How was it, I don't think I ever asked you! 
    Posted by ajuly09[/QUOTE]
    I did, it was July 3.  It was awesome!!  Planning with them wasn't the easiest, but the day of was amazing!!  The weather was beautiful (day before the heat wave set in), evertything was just beautiful, and everyone had a great time.  I posted reviews back in July, if you want to dig them up.  Thanks again for your advice (and pictures -- those really helped seal the deal for me, my mom, and DH because we could envision what it would actually look like) way back when!  
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    Zenbat, I like the ideas of pies as centerpieces. That's a unique (and tasty!) one. If you don't want to pay for flowers, I know people who filled clear bowls with votives and used those are centerpieces, or put a ton of lemons/apples/various fruits in long, thin vases.

    I used to *hate* going up for the bouquet toss at weddings. Everyone would hide in the bathroom anyway, so why do it?

    On the other side of this topic, I think the things that people will remember the most about a wedding is food, music, and venue ambiance.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from NYEBride2010. Show NYEBride2010's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    In Response to Re: Details you could do without:
    [QUOTE]Zenbat - I did cheap welcome bags for OOT guests: two bottles of water, two packets of crackers, some candy and salt water taffy (we were on the Cape).  I included a quick timeline of events: ceremony at 10 with church address and reception at 12 with address, a list of our favorite places in the area (where we met, where we had our first date) and finally we were providing buses to the reception so no one had to drive so there was information about that. I bought all of the stuff for the bags in bulk at BJs and quickly put them together.  In the end it didn't cost us much and I thought it was a nice touch.  Although, I do agree with the other posts, the are not necessary but if you have a few extra bucks and want them you can find a way to make them affordable.
    Posted by clc51510[/QUOTE]

    Clc, I did the same but we were married in Plymouth. Everyone seems to like them (waters, smart food, granolas and gum) as our reception ended at 1:30am so they knew they had water and snacks in the room....although a lot of adults had beers and wine for afterwards too.  My bathroom baskets were ransacked!  Which I was happy about because I put effort into selecting things people really might need.  I did my own programs, designed and then just printed at Staples for $20/100.   I just listed the names of everyone involved, a few quotes about love and a remembrance for our grandparents. 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Details you could do without

    In Response to Re: Details you could do without:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Details you could do without : I'm quite relieved to hear that the iPod and volunteers worked out so well for you. That's what I'm doing. I'm hoping to get lots of song requests by putting a line in for that on the invitation response cards. I'm going with cupcakes. I know it's very trendy (passe already?) and a sheet cake would be fine, but with cupcakes I can get more flavors! Also, hoping to save on the cutting fee. Pies would make nice centerpieces too, though who knows if they'd be still there by dessert time.
    Posted by zenbat[/QUOTE]

    As far as I'm concerned, cupcakes will never be passe!
    I agree that the best thing about them is that you can get a variety of flavors.
     

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