Name changes

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Name changes

    In Response to Re: Name changes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name changes : so has the boyfriend agreed to Crap Bag?
    Posted by NorthernLghts[/QUOTE]

    Are you kidding?  I can't mention the "M" word to him.  He caught me watching Say Yes to the Dress and I thought he was going to have a heart attack (of course, the bride was wearing a $17,000 dress).
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Name changes

    In Response to Re: Name changes:
    [QUOTE]Question - Say Pete Marx marries Lucy Sullivan.  They have a child named Kevin Marx-Sullivan.  Kevin marries a woman from a similar situation, named Mary Klien-Harshberger.  Now comes the interesting part:  They have a child named Elroy.  Does Elroy have to take all 4 last manes now?  That is, will his full name be Elroy Marx-sullivan-klien-harshberger? 
    Posted by ramblinman1s[/QUOTE]

    Elroy's name is whatever is placed on his birth certificate. He, like all other babies, has no say in what his name is unless and until he decides to take legal steps as an adult to change it. 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Name changes

    if I gave someone a rose and called it a daisy they'd tell me I had the name wrong ;)
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: Name changes

    In Response to Re: Name changes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name changes : Are you kidding?  I can't mention the "M" word to him.  He caught me watching Say Yes to the Dress and I thought he was going to have a heart attack (of course, the bride was wearing a $17,000 dress).
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    haha. that may have been the issue more lucy but i could be wrong.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from helphelpImbeingrepressed. Show helphelpImbeingrepressed's posts

    Re: Name changes

    The "omg I thought feminism was about choices" argument is a wicked eyeroller.

    Of course you have a choice. Thanks to the feminists, you can do whatever you want with your last name.

    Having that choice does not mean that no one can think it's a dumb choice. I happen to think it's a retarded tradition. I'd defend to the death your right to make said stupid move, but I still think it's stupid.

    It won't kill genealogy, please. That's a foolhardy statement. That's what birth and death records are for. If anything, it'll make matrilineal genealogy easier, since women wouldn't switch their names around.

    As for the absurd hyphening arguments, it wouldn't be an issue for me.  I have a strict "my hoo hoo, my name" philosophy. There are all these divorcees running around with minimally innvolved fathers and the kids all sport his name for some reason. Doesn't strike me as good planning.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Scott123456. Show Scott123456's posts

    Re: Name changes

    In Response to Re: Name changes:The only reason you have a last name that you don't want to change, is because dozens of families before you merged their last names to one name to create an identity.  If you can't even agree on a name, you should at least get a good pre nup and start working on your divorce attorney now.  The rest is much more difficult.  BTW, you ARE weird!

    [QUOTE]Ha!  Great article.  I'm going to forward it to my FI.  I very much do NOT want to change my name, and I'm not going to.  I was surprised to find out my FI is disappointed.  He would never ask me to do it, I guess I was just surprised that he didn't know after all these years that I don't want to change mine. However, I wish society didn't just assume you would change your name and make you feel weird if you don't.  And I hate thinking about what we'll do when (or IF) we have kids.  I don't want to hyphenate their name but I also don't want my children to have a different last name than me. (afterall, I will have given birth to them!  If FI wants to squeeze them out, THEN they can have his name.)  <sigh />  What a pain! Lucy:  like Julia Gulia from the wedding singer?  That stinks!  :)
    Posted by trex509[/QUOTE]
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Name changes

    In Response to Re: Name changes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name changes : I've been trying to shed my identity for years.  Sometimes I think about changing my name just so my mother will have trouble finding me.
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    Do we have the same mother?  ;)
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Name changes

    scott- just so you know, adults are capable of disagreeing on something and then coming to a compromise. DH was surprised that I didn't want to change my name, but after several conversations and hearing how strongly I felt about it, he decided if it made me happy that's all he cared about. Especially after he saw all the paperwork I needed to do to change it, plus get new business cards, plus have the IT department at work change all my access codes- he realized it really wasn't fair to have me do all that while he didn't have to do a damn thing.
    it's not weird to be unsure of what to do in deciding whether to keep one's name or not, expecially when 80% of women keep their names, making it that much harder to learn about the other options you have. and while we may have our names because our families decided to make the traditional decision, but that doesn't lock us into that same decision.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: Name changes

    Wow, way to judge!  Actually, I think the fact that we are having this discussion about whether or not I change my name shows that we have a mature and strong relationship, rather than him assuming I'll just change mine and me just doing it to keep him "happy".  So keep your prenup and divorce lawyers.  A REAL relationship can withstand disagremeents and compromise.

    PS.  I agree with Helphelp's "my hoo hoo, my name" theory.  When men have to deal with childbirth, then they can choose the name. 

    In Response to Re: Name changes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name changes :The only reason you have a last name that you don't want to change, is because dozens of families before you merged their last names to one name to create an identity.  If you can't even agree on a name, you should at least get a good pre nup and start working on your divorce attorney now.  The rest is much more difficult.  BTW, you ARE weird!
    Posted by Scott123456[/QUOTE]
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Name changes

    In Response to Re: Name changes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name changes : Do we have the same mother?  ;)
    Posted by poppy609[/QUOTE]

    I do have three sisters, but all live far away from Boston.

    You know, it occurs to me that if losing your identity were as easy as changing your name, I wouldn't have any student loan debt.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Name changes

    if your name wasn't an important part of your identity the WPP wouldn't make you change it first thing.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Name changes

    In Response to Re: Name changes:
    [QUOTE]if your name wasn't an important part of your identity the WPP wouldn't make you change it first thing.
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    I could call myself Pocahontas, but the Mob would probably still find me if I stayed in my apartment.  Changing your name is an important part of hiding. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Name changes

    I'm just saying that you can't deny that your name is a part of your identity. It's not the whole thing, the whole thing would be your ID number, your SS# AND your name, and possibly your birth certificate. if you change one but not all, yeah people can find you, but it's going to be a little harder.
    Yet, who knows your SS#? do your friends know your ID# off the top of their heads? usually no. They know your name. it's how the social world knows you.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Name changes

    Perhaps we should make a distinction between legal identity  (name, s-e-x, DOB, SSN, fingerprints, etc.)  and personal identity (gender, personality, beliefs, sense of style, tastes, etc).

    Changing my legal identity won't change who I am. 

    Then again, I've hated my name since I was about 5 and my sister started saying it like it's an infectious disease, so maybe I'm just the wrong person to ask.  I've thought about changing it many, many times.  At one point, I had actually picked out an alias.  And a nom de plume.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: Name changes

    In Response to Re: Name changes:
    [QUOTE]PS.  I agree with Helphelp's "my hoo hoo, my name" theory.  When men have to deal with childbirth, then they can choose the name.  In Response to Re: Name changes :
    Posted by trex509[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree with this too. Although I can't say with certainty if I will change or keep my name, you better believe that if I have a kid it will have the same last name as me!

    And as an aside, I was also under the impression that feminism was about giving women options. It really annoys me that women judge each other on such personal decisions. The option is there for everyone, why isn't that enough?
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: Name changes

    Interesting story regarding children:  I knew a girl who got pregnant with her boyfriend.  They talked about marriage and were living together, so she gave the baby her boyfriends last name.  A few months after the baby was born, they broke up.  He is still somewhat involved in his child's life, but she has definitely taken about 95% of the responsibility for her child.  I always wonder if she regretted giving her son his last name since it is different from hers.

    Skip a few years, she got remarried and took her new husband's name.  She was hoping to hyphenate her child's name with her new name (so it would be Child Biological Father-Stepfather), and initially biological father said it was okay, but when it came time to do it, he said no.  She's concerned now that when they have children, this child will be the only one with a different name.

    Anyway, there is no point to my story other than choosing names is very complicated.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Name changes

    I always thought America should be a matriarchial society.  It just makes more sense for kids to have the mother's name.  There is no way for the government to ever know with 100% certainty who the father of a child is, but it's pretty easy to figure out who the mother is. 


     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Name changes

    In Response to Re: Name changes:
    [QUOTE]I always thought America should be a matriarchial society.  It just makes more sense for kids to have the mother's name.  There is no way for the government to ever know with 100% certainty who the father of a child is, but it's pretty easy to figure out who the mother is. 
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    I agree.  Many wiser cultures are that way. 
    It wouldn't surprise me if that's actually the origin of the woman changing her name - so the guy can say, "kid's got my name, see it's MY kid!"
     

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