Open bar question

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from greenclown. Show greenclown's posts

    Open bar question

    No - you don't mean well - you're trying to stir up trouble by answering a question that hasn't been asked. (whether the hosts should pay for guest's drinks).
    And you have your "traditions" backwards. People has been hosting bars for centuries - it's only within the last 20 years that they started charging their guests.
    Personally I'd rather buy my friends drinks than waste money on a video no one is ever going to watch.[/Quote]

    Perfect response! It is the sentiment I wanted to express but I couldn't figure out how to say it.
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from sunshine2008. Show sunshine2008's posts

    Open bar question

    I don't know, I would think Vidoe guy is right about the experience. He/She has seen weddings in all forms of social circles and cultures, so one shouldn't be miffed to hear his/her feedback, when others are commenting of the pain of actually standing in line for a drink.
    I think Miss Lilly along with many other posters make valuable inputs into these boards, but there's no reason an experienced wedding vendor can't give their feedback and opinions, if anything it is more valuable than others!
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Open bar question

    Some venues even require you to close the bar down a full hour prior to the end of the reception.
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from irishchick. Show irishchick's posts

    Open bar question

    Thanks for all the input - I appreciate it. I really like weddings where the meal service is fairly short so there's lots of time for dancing - this is the goal with our wedding. When I am a guest, I personally get restless during a plated meal, particularly if I don't know a lot of people at the table, so I don't mind getting up for a refill.

    We're putting a lot of thought, time and money into the decor and the aesthetic yet we do not want our wedding to feel formal at all (our meal is essentially a served clambake).

    I'm still on the fence but am leaning towards no tableside wine service (my FI doesn't care at all and will be drinking beer).
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Open bar question

    "and for the record, i agree with you. open bar is not necessary. in my circle anyhow, it is not common and is only done if the couple's parents are chipping in quite a bit or paying for the entire reception. most people my age have a hard enough time paying for the wedding basics, never mind tacking on an extra $5k for alcohol. but everyone already knows where i stand on this issue." Missy509

    Hey Missy, I am in the same boat. It is not common in my circle and when I have seen open bar for an entire event it was people who had wealthy parents. I'll only be doing an open cocktail hour. At the same time, I don't think you can argue with the fact that having an open bar = providing for your guests. I don't think a bride and groom's attitude should be that their needs are more important than their guests. There needs to be a balance between enjoying a wedding you can afford and caring about your guests. I thought about getting a photo booth for the reception and then I realized, here I am worried about the expense of an hour of open bar - how can I justify something so optional? Anyway, just my two cents!

  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Open bar question


    In case you haven't noticed, mine weren't the only feathers ruffled by your post slamming anyone who whould "buy drinks for their guests all night."

    This is an inaccurate statement. I was not slamming anyone. Yes, I feel bad for brides who feel they have to do this to be respected or from pressure from friends etc, but I in no way slammed anyone.

    This misrepresentation of my post is what has become the biggest problem on this board. I meet with brides who mention this board and say they are afraid to post because they may be attacked or accused of being someone they are not. I for one have had it with this type of needless attack.

    With 117 responses to this issue, I am not the only one with an opinion, but I still feel it is valuable to many due to my professional knowledge.

    And by the way, from the one question at the beginning of the post, it is common that it can lead to an expanded conversation. It is obvious many are struggling with not only how to have this service due to the cost, but should it be done at all or to what extent.

    All I ask is to not accuse me of something that is not true as well as twist my comments to fit your imagined picture of who I am and what my intentions are.

    I am sure the conversation will stay helpful and civil if I am not attacked for no reason other then I am a vendor in the industry. If you disagree with my opinion make it known, but if you don't like my opnion simply because I am a vendor, I don't know how else to say it other then... deal with it, we are all visitors here.


    You are dealing w/ some wussy brides if they are afraid to post on an anonymous message board b/c someone may disagree w/ them. If you've had it w/ 'needless attacks', maybe you shouldn't frequent message boards then. "Needless attacks", otherwise known as differences of opinion, happen all the time.

    Miss Lily's response to your post was perfect. The OP was not debating the merits of an open bar or a cash bar, nor was anyone else, till you posted. I don't know where you are getting your $2500-5K figure for open bars. I didn't spend anywhere near that for a full open bar for over 5 hours, nor did either of my sisters. I consider it money well spent. I'm sure my guests appreciated it too; I know I appreciate open bars when I go to weddings, and I am at most a 3 glasses of wine girl.