OT: Family/pet adoption issue

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    I'm going to be the lone voice saying give the dogs back. Yes, you would probably prevail in a court of law, but your family, I hope, is not the People's Court.  In the interest of long term family harmony, give him back the dogs.  Have him reimburse you for all expenses incurred, and then ship the dogs back. 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    But the situation in FL still exists; the cousin wouldn't have given them up in the first place if he could take care of them.  Now, after a month without them, he's revised history a bit so that accomodating the dogs' needs seems perfectly viable...until it isn't, again.  What, is he supposed to be able to take them back, give them up, take them back, give them up...?  He made his decision based on the rational and wants them back based on the irrational.  Unless he can demonstrate what has changed in his life, I'd say she had better keep them or she'll go through this as many times as he decides to change his mind.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    I agree completely, Kar.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    I realize that the best thing for the dogs is for them to stay w/ WPP. However, the dogs were originally the cousin's and he obviously loves them.  Yes, he is being selfish by wanting them back b/c they are clearly in a better home. However, the man is not eating, sleeping etc.  He is not just sad and missing his dogs; he's having a physical reaction to their absence.  Anyone who loves pets [Kar and Pink] would understand where he is coming from.  He can take care of the dogs -he feeds them, boards them when he is away, etc.  I agree it's not hte best situation for the dogs, but he's not abusing them and clearly has the means to afford the type of care he has been providing.  Many people w/ pets do this w/ their animals when they travel or work - you get a dog walker and put the pups in a kennel when you go away to Cancun for a week.  It's totally normal.  For these reasons and in the interest of family harmony, WPP should give the dogs back.   If she didn't think she should, she wouldn't have asked the question. She would have just said no to cousin and that would have been  the end of the story. It's only when you want to do one thing but think you should do something else that you ask other people for their opininon what you should do. It's not an easy decision and I'm sorry that WPP has to make it, but the right thing to do is to give back the dogs.  I suspect that she knows that though. 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    Alf, you have some very valid points. But I believe, if it wasn't for the family relations, WPP would never have brought up the question here. Her heart is in two places. If she had gotten the dogs from a stranger, there would have been no question in her mind, that she is entitled to keep the dogs.
    It is a very sad story. But I think one should think foremost of the welfare of the dogs. Being uprooted and moved to NE from FLA to live with a new family is one thing, but doing it again after they have settled down in their new environment will definitely confuse the poor puppies.
    You are right there are kennels and dog walkers, and many people use them. We had a dog once and had to put her in a kennel, whenever we travelled. But every time we picked her up from there, it would take her weeks, before she was her own self. Whenever we were leaving the house, she would cry and behave nervously, as if she was afraid, we would not come back.
    WPP could give the dogs back and get a new puppy. But so can her cousin.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    I totally feel terrible for the guy, yes, I totally understand.  I'd be sick, too.  But, the fact remains that he can't take care of them in a manner he's comfortable with. If he were comfortable with the situation, he wouldn't have done what he did.  WPP didn't go to him and suggest giving her the dogs; he came to the conclusion that the situation wasn't good.  He will again, IMO.  We all romanticize the past to justify repeating our mistakes.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    I really just posted the question to see what other people thought. We already told him no before I posted; sorry, I don't think I made that clear in my original post. 

    My family situation, like many I'm sure, is complicated. There hasn't been family harmony for decades; we haven't even seen each other for Christmas or other holidays in at least ten years. My two cousins (he and his sister) and I are the only family members on speaking terms (I'm not counting my parents, who I'm very close to). So family harmony isn't an issue because it hasn't existed since before I was born. 

    I'm disappointed that he made the decision to ruin our relationship, but that was his choice. This whole situation was his choice. He came to us, presented the idea and offered the dogs, took a month to marinate over it and make arrangements, and then he drove 10 hours to put them on a plane. At any point he could have said, "I'm too attached to the dogs and I can't do this." But instead it took him four and a half months to come to that conclusion. He doesn't dispute that he can't take care of them; his only argument is, "I want this." What happens in a few months when he doesn't want it anymore?

    Maybe he made a mistake, but adults deal with their mistakes. This is not the type of agreement you can just renege. I do feel for him, but throughout the whole discussion of adoption, he kept saying that we were doing him a favor, this was the best possible situation, thanking us profusely, etc. 


     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    Thanks WPP for making this clear. You are absolutely right, the dogs should stay with you. And please do not feel guilty about it at all. He gave them away willingly, after you gave him plenty of time to think about it. 
    My best to you an YOUR puppies. - Pingo
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

         Please, keep the dogs.

         They are not ping pong balls.

         If this had been an impulse move, someone at their wits end with a child having asthma, thinking it was due to dogs,  or someone who lost a job, could not keep them -   who gave them away, only to discover that in 1 week, circumstances changed,  it would be different.

        His circumstances have not changed, and he had plenty of thinking time.

        Sometimes we all make decisions we regret.   We are not entitled to a do - over, when other people, and animals, are involved.   He needs to act like a man, and stop messing up family relationships over his perhaps unwise decision.  Or maybe, decide that the dogs are better off.  If he loves the dogs so much,  he should not uproot them again.

        We all get over lovers who break up with us.  It is hard, but not the end of life.   I don't see his attachment being so much more important to him,  than your attachment to the dogs is to you.

         I hope before he gets another pet, he learns about providing for long working hours or odd schedules, before getting an animal, not after messing up a situation.

        He cannot replace the particular dogs, but he can come to love others for their own unique personalities.   Those dogs he misses so much seem to have made the adjustment, once.  That is enough.   Each time a dog dies,  or when I left my family home for several years (as did all SIBS)  we left behind our parents dogs, though we loved them and lived with them daily for 6 - 8 years.   We all adjusted. 

        I expect his senselessness and such are more his  indulging himself,  and his  obsession with getting back what he thinks will make him happy again, like an old boyfriend sitting across the street from the gal who ditched him,  every night for 2 months.
     
      Far more an attitude problem, than a loss he cannot get over. 

       He needs to grow up.    Sign me, a lover of dogs, not of irresponsible and self-indulgent not quite adults.    Wag  

       
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    All my original posts stand - you are making the right decision.  The family history is actually irrelevant IMO, but no matter, you are still making the right decision for the truth that the situation in FL hasn't changed.  He never should have gotten dogs in the first place.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    Just an update: we haven't heard from him since last Wednesday. I don't know if he's letting it go or hiring a hitman, but his facebook statuses have been about him "taking the high road," as he likes to pretend in his current fantasy world where he's both victim and hero. 

    It appears to be over. At least from our end, anyway. 
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    I just had a genius idea.  Tell him that you love the dogs, but they really haven't been the same since you got them, and you are going to bring them back.

    Then ship him a certain fat, gray cat I know who needs a home.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    Lucy, you make an interesting suggestion. And maybe he won't even notice the difference. 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    It sounds like he's not the most attentive pet owner... I bet you could pull it off.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    LOL, lucy!

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    Huh?  Lucy, why are you giving away my cat?!#@?
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    Oh Lucy, you always make me laugh. Great idea!
    I am sure you are thinking of your roommate's cat. I would love to be a speck in the corner, when he picked up the "dogs". LOL
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: OT: Family/pet adoption issue

    No worries, Fram.  I'm sure you wouldn't go out of town for a week, dumping your cats on someone else, failing to clean the (nasty, filthy) litter box, and not leaving any food (or money to buy food, or even mentioning - or noticing - that there isn't any).

    Kiss
     

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