Standing during the ceremony?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from k1r5ten. Show k1r5ten's posts

    Standing during the ceremony?

    Hi all,
    What are your thoughts on having some people stand during the ceremony? We are considering some venues where this is the only option (the ceremony would probably be 20 min. or so, and there would be seats for those that need them). At first I was fine with it, but now I'm having second thoughts. I worry that guests that arrive early will just wander and not be sure where to go. I have been to one ceremony before where people stood, but it was a beach wedding with only about 30 people, and everyone was hanging out in the house before walking down to the beach together -- there wasn't really that "what do I do" awkwardness I am worried about.

    Thanks!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    I think that most people would be happy enough to mill around and talk with different people before the ceremony if they got there early.  However,  I'd hope that the wedding would be VERY informal - it is not consistent with a black tie event, for instance.  If you have a cathedral type gown, your BMs are in long, formal gowns, the wedding is at 6:00 pm, and you have your guests stand, that would be pretty weird.  If you had a less formal gown, "fun" BM dresses, and an early afternoon or late morning/brunch wedding, it would fit with the formality to have guests stand.  Like on the beach - very informal.

    From a physical perspective, I'd assume if you can stand and walk at all, you can stand for 20 or 30 minutes without a physical problem.  Of course, that's 95% of people, and you said you'd have chairs for those who need them.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    My only thought is that there may be able-bodied females there who would otherwise be able to stand, but may not want to stand in three or four-inch heels for half an hour.  I could probably handle it, but I would be very uncomfortable.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    Most of my guests had to stand for my ceremony, which I made sure was very short (just under 20mins). My wedding was at 7pm and I wore a long dress and so did my bridesmaids. It wasn't black-tie, but it was formal.
    We did have about 15 chairs set up for our parents and grandparents and anyone else who needed to sit.

    Like you, we had to do this because of our venue. We got married at the New England Aquarium and our guests stood on the ramp overlooking the penguin tank while the wedding party, those seated and the officiant were in the alcove over the penguin tank. So they all got to look dowon on the ceremony and see our faces while we said your vows and all that. You can see a picture in the "Show your maids dress" thread.

    While they did have to stand, they were able to lean on the ramp, which I think made it a little more comfortable.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    What do you mean by some guests?

    In general, I don't think it's a big deal for a short ceremony (20 mins or so), but you would want to be sure you accomodate any guests who need to sit down, like the elderly, etc.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from mezzogal1124. Show mezzogal1124's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    In Response to Re: Standing during the ceremony?:
    [QUOTE]We got married at the New England Aquarium and our guests stood on the ramp overlooking the penguin tank while the wedding party, those seated and the officiant were in the alcove over the penguin tank. So they all got to look dowon on the ceremony and see our faces while we said your vows and all that.
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    Being able to stand on a ramp sounds ideal. My biggest concern with standing would be the sight lines.  People might get really frustrated if they can't see, and if it's a long ceremony.  
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    yes, you want to be sure people can actually see you! And also keep in mind the time it takes for everyone to pick a spot to stand and the time it takes everyone to get down the aisle.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    I see where mezzo is coming from, but I'm so short I can't see while seated anyway.  I was at a church wedding this weekend and had to stick my head into the aisle the whole time.  You can't win!  :o)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from k1r5ten. Show k1r5ten's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    When we saw the venue set up for a wedding, the owner said they could seat about 25 ppl. on the dance floor for the ceremony. We may have fewer tables (only expecting 100 total) and won't have a DJ, so there's more flexibility. I am hoping with some creativity we can seat half. Thanks for the input!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    People stood at my friend's wedding and it was fine!  It was a short ceremony, outside with about 80 people.  It was not a formal wedding by any means and I don't think anyone complained that there were no chairs.  I think if you have chairs for those who need them, then it will work out.  
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from teacherinmass. Show teacherinmass's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    I went to an outside wedding where about half of the guests had to stand. In the end, the officiant never told people to sit and everyone, with a chair or not, had to stand during the ceremony because it was never clear that it was appropriate to sit down. I was frustrated with the officiant but was also surprised that there wasn't a seat for everyone.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    If you have chairs/tables set up intending them to be used by those who can't stand easily for even 20 minutes (elderly, those with physical difficulties, very very pregnant ladies), how would you designate who can sit?  I would think whoever arrived first would sit if they saw chairs, which might not leave options for the people who need it...
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    I can see how standing in the Aquarium (or similar venue) doesn't reduce formality.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    In Response to Re: Standing during the ceremony?:
    [QUOTE]If you have chairs/tables set up intending them to be used by those who can't stand easily for even 20 minutes (elderly, those with physical difficulties, very very pregnant ladies), how would you designate who can sit?  I would think whoever arrived first would sit if they saw chairs, which might not leave options for the people who need it...
    Posted by poppy609[/QUOTE]

    I really, really want to believe that, if all the seats were full and an obviously pregnant woman or elderly man came in, someone would give up their seat.

    I want to believe that.  But I ride the T every day, so I can't say it with any certainty.

    What I will say is that I was at my boss's funeral a few weeks ago, and most of the guests were older.  There were far more people than seats (although it was a pretty big place), but those of us who had seats were more than happy to stand up for those who needed one.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    poppy- our venue coordinator directed elderly guests to the chairs first, and then closer family members. we actually had a few chairs empty because everyone preferred to get the bird's eye view of the ceremony.

    kar- I think it depends on if the architecture of the venue, where people have to stand and how people are directed there. It can have an orchestrated and formal feeling, or it can seem like they just didn't get enough chairs.

    I'd avise that if you want it to feel formal and have everyone be standing, you're going to need to make it seem well-planned. Maybe if you can't set up chairs, you can have the venue set up ropes or ribbon to make rows for people to stand in, or use some kind of decoration like topiaries or tall vases to mark the start of the row. The recurit some good ushers, your bridal party, or your venue coordinator to help direct people to where they should be standing.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    DH's cousin got married in the small backyard of her in-law's house and everyone stood. It was a short ceremony and wasn't that uncomfortable, just a little confusing because people didn't really know what to do. 

    If you have people standing, just try to have a coordinator or someone letting them where to stand and when.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?



    kind of like this. if you were outside all you'd need is tall vases, branches, some painted dowels (sp?) and some ribbon. Easy to set up, easy to take down, looks nice and it lets people know where to stand.

    if you're inside I'm sure the venue has some of those rope dividers that you can snap together in a second and then maybe stick a wreath on each one or a nice bow with some flowers, or paper lanterns
    icicle string lights could work, too.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    Lucy - I'd like to believe at a wedding that folks would indeed do this... but, like you, my recent adventures on the T as a very obviously pregnant woman has taught me that at least on the T, people do NOT do this!  On the way home from a late Red Sox game the other night I just about sat on the floor of the T.

    It sounds like if you have a good coordinator this shouldn't be a problem, and I wasn't trying to discourage it, just wanted to throw out a possible logistical issues.  I like Pink's solutions.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    Have to say that I'm not a fan of stand-up ceremonies except for very small weddings or a venue that can accommodate it well, like PK's.  They're generally disorganized, people may not be able to see or hear the ceremony, and it detracts from the solemnity of the occasion. 

    Also, the ceremony might only be 20 minutes, but people will be arriving early and will end up having to stand for a lot longer than that.  After 10 minutes, all people will be thinking about is when can I sit down? 

    See if the venue can arrange to move the tables back further and put the chairs in the ceremony seating area and then rearrange after the ceremony.  

    Not trying to be Debbie Downer, just giving you my opinion. 

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from MScGirl. Show MScGirl's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    I have to agree that standing during a ceremony can be a pain, especially if guests aren't expecting it. Will you have some area outside the ceremony for people to sit while waiting, so that they truly won't be standing for more than 20 minutes or so?

    Normally, your average adult should be able to stand for 20 minutes, no problem. However, if it's at all a formal wedding, chances are that more than half of the guests will be wearing new/uncomfortable shoes, and some portion of the guests who look healthy may have foot/knee problems, etc etc.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    I'm w/ cosmo. It's not the standing for 20 minutes that's the problem. It's the standing for 15-20 minutes before the ceremony, that makes standing for the ceremony a PITA.  And then people are generally expected to stand for the cocktail hour. 

    If you can arrange it so that people have a place to hang out [ie, the reception dining area] before the wedding, and then file everyone in to the area for the ceremony where 90% of the people stand and those that need seats are escorted to them, I think that's a better plan. Otherwise, get seats for everyone. 

    Also, I don't know anyone who arrives at a wedding 15 minutes before it's supposed to start.  Most people I know get there a minimum of 30 minutes early, so they can get a parking space, mingle w/ people and find a seat.  So standing for a '20 minute' ceremony is is a lot more than 20 minutes. 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from ash. Show ash's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    I agree with cosmo and Alf.  When I think of standing during the ceremony, I think of a VERY short ceremony (10 minutes or less).  20 minutes is a whole lot longer than you think, especially if you are wearing heels.  And its not just 20 minutes.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    I think you have made a good point, but I would like to say that I for one never arrive early for anything :o)
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    Interestingly, today at work, we had a meeting with more participants than chairs, so about 8 of us had to stand up for the entire thing.  Arrived 5 minutes early.  Meeting lasted 20 minutes.   I was truly uncomfortable after awhile, and I had comfy shoes on! 
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Standing during the ceremony?

    We attended a fancy wedding in a downtown Boston cathedral with at cocktail reception at the Ritz. There were plenty of tall tables to stand at, but very few chairs. The few chairs available, were hogged by the first arriving guests - and they wouldn't give them up. Friends or couples made sure one of them were sitting, while the other one got up to get a drink or some appetizers. I for one was very uncomfortable. At one point DH and I left for a short time to sit down in the hotel's lounge. Several guests had gotten the same idea.
    Just to be polite we stayed at the reception until the couple cut the cake and had their first dance, but took off as soon as that was over. Many had already left by then. 



     

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