Wedding Invites

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : I would feel sooooooooooo awkward if I were invited to sit at the head table at a wedding of someone I didn't know with a guy I had only been on a couple of dates with (or, worse, first date!  Eek!).
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    Well, even if we did invite our bridal party each with a guest, the guest wouldn't be sitting at the head table.  They would sit at the "singles table".  Sounds like a weird situation to me!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Well, even if we did invite our bridal party each with a guest, the guest wouldn't be sitting at the head table.  They would sit at the "singles table".  Sounds like a weird situation to me!
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]'

    Assuming that I were the date of your friend in this situation, that would be 10x worse, as the only person I would know in the entire room would be sitting 20 feet away.  Consider the poor (fictitious!) girl's feelings!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : ' Assuming that I were the date of your friend in this situation, that would be 10x worse, as the only person I would know in the entire room would be sitting 20 feet away.  Consider the poor (fictitious!) girl's feelings!
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    Another reason why we didn't do it and it didn't make sense for us to do.  Ha, ha.  We wanted it to be a close, intimate wedding ceremony/reception, didn't want to extend our budget, and we didn't want strangers at our wedding.  Made sense in our minds.  There might be some confusion out there from some of our guests, but that's what we wanted.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    I think "What can I bring?" is innocent enough. It means they're willing to help out, so if you need help, let them oblige.
    It's best to be honest in that case, but don't mention anything they'd really have to go out of their way for or that would be expensive (I usually decide anything more than $15 is too much for a last minute request, unless you offer to pay them back in cash when they arrive)

    But I ask that, and am asked that, all the time. It's usually met with "Nothing." or something small like "A bottle of soda, if you'd like any."

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : That's exactly what my fiance said.  I was just sitting there, shocked!  It's hard when you get a question like that right to your face.  I even feel awkward when we're having a wine and cheese night or a little dinner party and people ask me what they should bring.  Um, yourself?  I always feel odd.  Whenever I go to someone's house, I bring something, and NEVER ask them what I should bring.  Unless it's a potluck thing, of course.
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In the end, they will all get it and it will be fine.  You may just have a few annoying questions between now and the big day. 

    My BIL was my DH's best man, and he was invited w/o a date and he threw a bit of a temper tantrum to DH.  Dh didn't even know he had a girlfriend (and they broke up before the wedding) and just told him that only people in serious relationships/engaged/married were coming with a date, but mostly he didn't want strangers at the wedding.  he was mad for a few days, but fine by the time the wedding came around.  He had a great time, and ended up hooked up with someone.  Even my sister said she learned a lot about wedding etiquette from helping with the wedding. 
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In the end, they will all get it and it will be fine.  You may just have a few annoying questions between now and the big day.  My BIL was my DH's best man, and he was invited w/o a date and he threw a bit of a temper tantrum to DH.  Dh didn't even know he had a girlfriend (and they broke up before the wedding) and just told him that only people in serious relationships/engaged/married were coming with a date, but mostly he didn't want strangers at the wedding.  he was mad for a few days, but fine by the time the wedding came around.  He had a great time, and ended up hooked up with someone.  Even my sister said she learned a lot about wedding etiquette from helping with the wedding. 
    Posted by dkb6248[/QUOTE]

    Exactly.  These are all things that I knew of prior to planning.  I guess, one hopes you never really have to be confronted with it during your planning.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    He asked what to give you for a wedding gift?  Under what rock does this guy live???
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]He asked what to give you for a wedding gift?  Under what rock does this guy live???
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    Yes.  So, we said, "One million dollars".  Was that wrong?

    Wink
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    I had to explain to my dad over the summer that you should never, ever, call to see if it's okay to bring a guest if you weren't invited with one.
    My uncle was invited to a wedding, my dad knows the bride and groom but wasn't invited, and my dad mentioned to me "he's going to call and ask if he can bring me..."
    I had to kindly talk him out of it.

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In the end, they will all get it and it will be fine.  You may just have a few annoying questions between now and the big day.  My BIL was my DH's best man, and he was invited w/o a date and he threw a bit of a temper tantrum to DH.  Dh didn't even know he had a girlfriend (and they broke up before the wedding) and just told him that only people in serious relationships/engaged/married were coming with a date, but mostly he didn't want strangers at the wedding.  he was mad for a few days, but fine by the time the wedding came around.  He had a great time, and ended up hooked up with someone.  Even my sister said she learned a lot about wedding etiquette from helping with the wedding. 
    Posted by dkb6248[/QUOTE]
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Yes.  So, we said, "One million dollars".  Was that wrong?
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    Actually, it's a great, non-threatening response that clearly says he was in the wrong for asking and that you aren't going to give him a serious answer without being mean about it.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Actually, it's a great, non-threatening response that clearly says he was in the wrong for asking and that you aren't going to give him a serious answer without being mean about it.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    Ha, my fiance really did say that!!  Ha, ha.  He also said, "A house would be nice, too".
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Yes.  So, we said, "One million dollars".  Was that wrong?
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    nope, not at all. perfectly reasonable :-)
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    I think it's worse that his question had a disclaimer in front of it, like that made it okay.
    Kind of like when people think they can say anythign if they put "With all due respect..." in front of it.
    If you have to make a disclaimer like that in front of a question, then just don't ask.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    I agree, pink.  He knew it was an "inappropriate" question, but just had to ask anyway.  He's been to weddings, and he was IN a wedding a year or so ago, so he knows the protocol.  If not, just ask your parents, don't ask the B&G.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Yes.  So, we said, "One million dollars".  Was that wrong?
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    Ha! If you're lucky, he's got the money despite the etiquette Smile 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]I agree that doing things alone is healthy, but I also believe that inviting someone to your wedding without their spouse *CAN* be offensive. Not always, but it can be, and I don't think it should become common practice. It's one thing to choose to attend a wedding or other event even though your spouse can't make it, it's another to feel as though they weren't welcome in the first place. In Response to Re: Wedding Invites :
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    Yes - To clarify, I also agree with Kar and Pinkkittie that to purposely *not* invite a spouse would be very rude of the inviter - what a snub!!  However I was invited to 2 weddings while engaged and my FI was not invited to either - my guess is that the 2 girls (sisters) did not know I was engaged (longtime family friends who I saw a lot when we were all about 7 but haven't kept up with much since... was surprised to even be invited!).  So I went alone.  I did not call and ask if I could bring him.  I just s*cked it up and went with my family, who were all invited (none with dates, except the married folk). 

    I think Whatawag had suggested in her post that some of the people who invited just her or just her DH may not have even known they were married.  My point, partially, was that I would either accept or not accept a solo invite.  I wouldn't contact the bride and be like, "But, but...!"  Other partial point was the pet peeve I have with couples who are incapable of doing anything one without the other. :)

    But I agree that in this case, although he acted immature, Goodness's FI's friend probably just assumed he could have a date and didn't know about the invitation etiquette...
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Don't get me wrong here.  I understand if he was wondering if he could bring a guest for whatever reason.  Maybe he didn't know what he was supposed to do, etc.  But, for him to get upset about it, and jokingly toss the invitation on the chair, wasn't okay by me.  I felt that he acted a bit immaturely.  Hurt my feelings, and I wish that I wasn't confronted with that issue in the first place. 

    If the tables were turned and it happened to me (let's say I'm single).  If the B&G told me that I was invited by myself, I would've left it at that.  I wouldn't throw a "fit".
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from dougas. Show dougas's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    You're fighting with a person who is IN your wedding? This is going to get ugly. 
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Yes, he did act childishly.
    I hate when people act like the only reason the bride and groom didn't invite someone is because they didn't feel like it.
    Does it ever occur to them that you can't invite everyone and their grandmother to a wedding without running yourself into the poor house? People need to grow up.

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]Don't get me wrong here.  I understand if he was wondering if he could bring a guest for whatever reason.  Maybe he didn't know what he was supposed to do, etc.  But, for him to get upset about it, and jokingly toss the invitation on the chair, wasn't okay by me.  I felt that he acted a bit immaturely.  Hurt my feelings, and I wish that I wasn't confronted with that issue in the first place.  If the tables were turned and it happened to me (let's say I'm single).  If the B&G told me that I was invited by myself, I would've left it at that.  I wouldn't throw a "fit".
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    I love him, but his actions made me want to punch him. 

    He still hasn't replied to my text message ("Don't forget to send in your reply!!") from this morning.  He's probably all mad at me now.  He's a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins (thanks for the quote Elf).

    I need to feel cute right now... otherwise I'll get upset with him again.

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]I love him, but his actions made me want to punch him.  He still hasn't replied to my text message ("Don't forget to send in your reply!!") from this morning.  He's probably all mad at me now.  He's a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins (thanks for the quote Elf). I need to feel cute right now... otherwise I'll get upset with him again.
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    if you already know he's coming, why does he have to mail a reply? 
    Or is there a meal choice?
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Maybe he just needs to be huffy for a couple days, then get over it and send in the reply. DH's best man lost the invitation and didn't even send his reply in, lol.

    I also agree that you did nothing wrong and here and there's nothing for you to worry about.

    My friend, who I invited solo, facebook messaged me and asked if he could bring someone. We're close, so I was able to lightly, jokingly say no. He was at a table of our mutual friends and knew a lot of people at our wedding. He was great about me telling him no, too.

    I would be annoyed if DH or I were invited to a wedding without the other. Not that I need to be at his side every second, but what bad taste. I wouldn't want to drive 8 hours in a car that doesn't really work without him, either. I'd probably decline.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : if you already know he's coming, why does he have to mail a reply?  Or is there a meal choice?
    Posted by downtoearth[/QUOTE]

    There's a meal choice, and we're having a semi-large wedding.  It's important to have all our t's crossed, and i's dotted.  Otherwise, we're worried that someone/thing might slip through the cracks.

    On some level, I'm glad the subject was brought up.  Otherwise, we wouldn't have known that he was thinking of bringing someone before it was too late!  So, I am glad I know. 
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : if you already know he's coming, why does he have to mail a reply?  Or is there a meal choice?
    Posted by downtoearth[/QUOTE]

    because she spent the money on the stamp! Ugh I had this argument over and over and over.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    I really don't get the big deal of checking off the meal choice, writing in your name, and sending it back.  It's already been stamped for you, so just do it! 
    That's a major peeve of mine.  Why would you just leave it sitting on your desk/table for a month if you know you are/aren't going?  Just send it back.  We obviously want it, so send it back!

    I hate getting the calls, "Oh, I'm coming".  I just say, "Okay, good... we'll look out for your response.  You still have to send it, dude". 
     

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