Wedding Invites

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : because she spent the money on the stamp! Ugh I had this argument over and over and over.
    Posted by amschnittger[/QUOTE]

    hahahaha! And because it is proper etiquette!

    And, yes it takes 2.5 seconds to fill out a d*mn response card, unless you really can't deside between the meal choices. Also, the b&g spent money on them, so do the kind thing and don't waste their money, please!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    But again, does it really take THAT long to choose a meal?  Seriously, people?  If it does, then there are bigger problems here. 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Goodness, I was being sarcastic!! But I know, you're right. When I get an invite, I literally respond right when I open it so I won't forget. So many people just set it aside and totally forget about it, so annoying!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]Goodness, I was being sarcastic!! But I know, you're right. When I get an invite, I literally respond right when I open it so I won't forget. So many people just set it aside and totally forget about it, so annoying!
    Posted by lizinboston[/QUOTE]

    Oh, no, no, no... I know you were.  But, I've spoken to a couple friends of mine who are invited to my wedding, and they're all, "Oh, I don't know what I should choose to eat".  Um, really?  Just choose something.  I just say that all the choices (we have 3) are good, so just pick one!!  Ha!  It's ONE meal.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

       So , in a restaurant they wait 3 weeks to order?

         It is one thing not to send a reply because you have put in for time off or a swapped shift, and do not know if you have got it.   You do not want to say yes then cancel.
          It is another to hold and RSVP because you cannot decide on a meal.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Epigal. Show Epigal's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    I'm a little late here but... I would also agree with calling the person who added uninvited guests, and nicely but firmly saying that due to your budget you really can't have extra guests, and you're really looking forward to seeing them (the one invitee) at the wedding. I'm having that problem too after I decided not to invite any young children. Relatives and friends with little kids seem to think I'm joking... which makes me think maybe setting up some kind of babysitting option would be a good idea as a last resort. Has anyone here done that?

    Your friend should be understanding, and hopefully one day when he plans his own wedding, he'll finally get the picture. He should be happy about sharing the day with you guys, and anyways he won't have too much extra time if he's in the wedding.

    A bit OT but also related -- what do you do when you just really don't want someone at your wedding? An old friend is probably going to get engaged before my wedding, but her future fiance is just not a nice guy. At a wedding this summer, he got roaring drunk and out of control, and apparently he does this every time he drinks. I don't want to offend her, but at the same time, I'm NOT having this guy start barreling around the dance floor and knocking people over.





     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    That's a tough one Epigal!  Ultimately, I say it's up to you whether you want to invite this guy.  But not inviting him could upset your friend, which would hurt your friendship, and she may decline to come herself.  My friend didn't invite our friend's fiance to her wedding because he is basically a loser ex-con.  The friend came and didn't cause any drama over it, but they also aren't super close friends, just old friends from high school.

    I just have to add this to the thread.  We had two guys add an "and guest" to their replies for our wedding and neither one of them gave us a present!!  Now don't get me wrong, there were other people who didn't give us gifts either.  Not the end of the world AT ALL.  But what an odd coincidence that the only two people who brought an uninvited guest also didn't give us presents!  One of them emailed me the day after the wedding to get our address because he said he forgot to leave the card... Good thing I didn't hold my breath because it never came!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Goodness, I can see why you were so upset by his immature reaction.  Hopefully he will cool down and send in the RSVP very soon!! 

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    I'm not going to say anything to him again.  I was upset by his actions and reactions.  After all, it's our wedding, not his.  His actions were pure immaturity and disrespect for something that we (B&G) and our families are planning.  I just don't think that anyone should think/feel they're entitled because we gave them the honor of standing by us on our day.  We asked for him, and him alone. 

    Live and learn, I guess.  Now, I know how to deal with any situation as it may arise. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Goodness, you are piling up the life lessons this year!  Believe me, I wish there were an easier way to wisdom, but if there is one I don't know it.  Anything I've shared that you've found helpful I learned exactly the way you are now.  The sucky way.  Welcome to the club. :)
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]I'm a little late here but... I would also agree with calling the person who added uninvited guests, and nicely but firmly saying that due to your budget you really can't have extra guests, and you're really looking forward to seeing them (the one invitee) at the wedding. I'm having that problem too after I decided not to invite any young children. Relatives and friends with little kids seem to think I'm joking... which makes me think maybe setting up some kind of babysitting option would be a good idea as a last resort. Has anyone here done that? Your friend should be understanding, and hopefully one day when he plans his own wedding, he'll finally get the picture. He should be happy about sharing the day with you guys, and anyways he won't have too much extra time if he's in the wedding. A bit OT but also related -- what do you do when you just really don't want someone at your wedding? An old friend is probably going to get engaged before my wedding, but her future fiance is just not a nice guy. At a wedding this summer, he got roaring drunk and out of control, and apparently he does this every time he drinks. I don't want to offend her, but at the same time, I'm NOT having this guy start barreling around the dance floor and knocking people over.
    Posted by Epigal[/QUOTE]
    Epigal, I am in the same boat as you. God I wish I could give you an answer. I can't stand my friends boyfriend...for many reasons. I wish there was a way around this...
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Epigal, I am in the same boat as you. God I wish I could give you an answer. I can't stand my friends boyfriend...for many reasons. I wish there was a way around this...
    Posted by lizinboston[/QUOTE]

    I'm pretty sure I've decided that the best way to avoid inviting my loser brother-in-law and his serial killer 10 year old son is to not invite my sister...  So, there's that option.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Epigal, I would think it partially depends on what kind of venue you're using...  If a hotel, country club, restaurant type place with a full staff , you could have someone point out Mr. Charming to the bartenders to keep an eye out for him, and have the Function Manager also be aware that he may need to be escorted out at some point.

    If you'll be at a function hall or tent with caterer staff, you can't expect the caterer's waiters to be your bouncers, and you don't want to ask your guests to do that unpleasant task if someone needs to be removed.   That's a little more tricky.

    You can invite your friend solo and when she asks "what about Mr. Charming", you can say that he's not invited.  Have you met him personally?  Is it possible that the bad behavior is being exaggerated by gossip (or Facebook)? 

    Bottom line:  if she's really your friend, talk to her about your concerns and ask what she would do.  You do not want a miserable drunk at the wedding.  They always become what everyone remembers most and it's horrible! 

    Good luck! 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Epi, I don't envy your situation.  Love cos's advice, as usual.  Whatever you do, you do not need to just accept his being there with no proactive action taken to avoid a scene.  You are totally within your right to talk to her and whomever is in charge of your reception at the venue.  The function coordinator would know exactly who to talk to and how to instruct them.  You are not the first bride to bring this concern to their attention, and they have handled such things before.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Epigal. Show Epigal's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Thanks for the advice! Our wedding is at a hotel, so I'll definitely talk to the coordinator there, and maybe even slip her this guy's photo to be absolutely sure :) I guess there's just no easy or polite way around this issue.

    Unfortunately I have met him personally, and it's not over exaggerated behavior. At a friend's wedding this summer, after what seemed like 10 drinks in an hour, he went to a random bar inside the hotel where the reception was being held, and made some "new friends" that he thought should join in the wedding festivities, and started jumping around in the middle of the dance floor.

    Sorry to have added all this to your post Goodness!
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Don't worry, Epigal.  These are worries for me, too.  Unfortunately.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    All these little wedding details that people keep telling me not to stress over... well, I'm stressing over.

    Anyone have a good method to control the stress? 
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Hang on, Dear, you're in the home stretch and all these concerns will be a distant memory. 
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Kar, I feel like at any given moment, I could burst into tears.  Everything/one is bothering me.  The stupid questions and details that I just don't care about.  I just want to marry this man. 

    The irony is, that most of the things that are bothering me are coming from his side of the family.  I can't talk to him about that, though.  So, when I generalize, he just thinks I'm stressing "over nothing".  But, I'm dealing with very real issues with his mom constantly wanting attention for her dress, hair, shoes.  To wanting a particular flower for her corsage (being WAY too specific about it).  And, finally, allowing CERTAIN people (her neice) to bring a guest, so she's not alone.  And, because "she's family, so it's okay".  UGH! 
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]Kar, I feel like at any given moment, I could burst into tears.  Everything/one is bothering me.  The stupid questions and details that I just don't care about.  I just want to marry this man.  The irony is, that most of the things that are bothering me are coming from his side of the family.  I can't talk to him about that, though.  So, when I generalize, he just thinks I'm stressing "over nothing".  But, I'm dealing with very real issues with his mom constantly wanting attention for her dress, hair, shoes.  To wanting a particular flower for her corsage (being WAY too specific about it).  And, finally, allowing CERTAIN people (her neice) to bring a guest, so she's not alone.  And, because "she's family, so it's okay".  UGH! 
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    I find it disconcerting that you can't be honest with your fiance about what's bothering you even if it won't be comfortable to "complain" about his side of the family.  Your feelings are worth discussing with your husband no matter what they are about.  Protecting him from how you really feel is a VERY bad habit to be in and is a huge contributor to your overall anxiety in and of itself.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    He gets really defensive, and I don't want him thinking that I don't "like his family".  It's not the truth.  I just feel very awkward saying anything to him about that. 

    He has a memory like an elephant. 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]Kar, I feel like at any given moment, I could burst into tears.  Everything/one is bothering me.  The stupid questions and details that I just don't care about.  I just want to marry this man.  The irony is, that most of the things that are bothering me are coming from his side of the family.  I can't talk to him about that, though.  So, when I generalize, he just thinks I'm stressing "over nothing".  But, I'm dealing with very real issues with his mom constantly wanting attention for her dress, hair, shoes.  To wanting a particular flower for her corsage (being WAY too specific about it).  And, finally, allowing CERTAIN people (her neice) to bring a guest, so she's not alone.  And, because "she's family, so it's okay".  UGH! 
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    None of those behaviors by the Mom is really a big deal. So she's a little vain. Big deal.  She has a favorite flower?  Why not give it to her?  the niece?  Oh, we make special allowances for certain people, maybe she's painfully shy, maybe she's just a brat and the family likes to keep her happy - who cares, it's one more person. 

    You say "how do I handle the stress?" I say, give it up.  Let it go and pour a nice cold frosty cocktail.    Worrying about your MIL caring too much is something along the lines of 'sweating the small stuff.'  

    Enjoy!!!   Your wedding will be lovely. :)
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : I'm pretty sure I've decided that the best way to avoid inviting my loser brother-in-law and his serial killer 10 year old son is to not invite my sister...  So, there's that option.
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    LOL!   Oh, many memories of conversations last night just came flooding back to me.  I was seriously getting nauseous this morning on the train thinking about that breast feeding story.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE] A bit OT but also related -- what do you do when you just really don't want someone at your wedding? An old friend is probably going to get engaged before my wedding, but her future fiance is just not a nice guy. At a wedding this summer, he got roaring drunk and out of control, and apparently he does this every time he drinks. I don't want to offend her, but at the same time, I'm NOT having this guy start barreling around the dance floor and knocking people over.
    Posted by Epigal[/QUOTE]

    When DH's best friend got married a few years ago, his family made an effort to keep an eye on one of his notoriously drunk friends during the wedding.  They even had the wait staff limiting his alcohol.  The grooms father actually asked him to stop drinking or he will be asked to leave halfway through the reception.  Do you have anyone up for that challenge?

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : None of those behaviors by the Mom is really a big deal. So she's a little vain. Big deal.  She has a favorite flower?  Why not give it to her?  the niece?  Oh, we make special allowances for certain people, maybe she's painfully shy, maybe she's just a brat and the family likes to keep her happy - who cares, it's one more person.  You say "how do I handle the stress?" I say, give it up.  Let it go and pour a nice cold frosty cocktail.    Worrying about your MIL caring too much is something along the lines of 'sweating the small stuff.'   Enjoy!!!   Your wedding will be lovely. :)
    Posted by downtoearth[/QUOTE]

    You're right. 
     

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