Wedding Invites

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the advice! Our wedding is at a hotel, so I'll definitely talk to the coordinator there, and maybe even slip her this guy's photo to be absolutely sure :) I guess there's just no easy or polite way around this issue. Unfortunately I have met him personally, and it's not over exaggerated behavior. At a friend's wedding this summer, after what seemed like 10 drinks in an hour, he went to a random bar inside the hotel where the reception was being held, and made some "new friends" that he thought should join in the wedding festivities, and started jumping around in the middle of the dance floor. Sorry to have added all this to your post Goodness!
    Posted by Epigal[/QUOTE]

    Ummm... I think I know this guy! One of FI's acquaintances was cut off at a wedding DURING THE COCKTAIL HOUR so he crashed the wedding next door. And then proceeded to make a fool of himself at both weddings.

    If it's the same guy, please don't invite him!!


     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : When DH's best friend got married a few years ago, his family made an effort to keep an eye on one of his notoriously drunk friends during the wedding.  They even had the wait staff limiting his alcohol.  The grooms father actually asked him to stop drinking or he will be asked to leave halfway through the reception.  Do you have anyone up for that challenge?
    Posted by dkb6248[/QUOTE]

    Did the guy freak out and make a scene or did he slow it down? That's ballsy!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Did the guy freak out and make a scene or did he slow it down? That's ballsy!
    Posted by WhirledPeasPlease[/QUOTE]

    He stopped drinking.  The grooms dad is scary.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the advice! Our wedding is at a hotel, so I'll definitely talk to the coordinator there, and maybe even slip her this guy's photo to be absolutely sure :) I guess there's just no easy or polite way around this issue. Unfortunately I have met him personally, and it's not over exaggerated behavior. At a friend's wedding this summer, after what seemed like 10 drinks in an hour, he went to a random bar inside the hotel where the reception was being held, and made some "new friends" that he thought should join in the wedding festivities, and started jumping around in the middle of the dance floor. Sorry to have added all this to your post Goodness!
    Posted by Epigal[/QUOTE]
    Epi, I am starting to think we have the same friend.....


     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : LOL!   Oh, many memories of conversations last night just came flooding back to me.  I was seriously getting nauseous this morning on the train thinking about that breast feeding story.
    Posted by dkb6248[/QUOTE]

    Um...yeah. Sorry, but if a child is old enough to ASK for it, they are too old...LET GO.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Um...yeah. Sorry, but if a child is old enough to ASK for it, they are too old...LET GO.
    Posted by lizinboston[/QUOTE]

    I just want to stress that the white trash is all on my  brother-in-law's side of the family....
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    LOL...I just want to stress that Lucy is way funnier in person...had a lovely lunch with her today, and met two of her kitties, one of whom is huge. Ok, they aren't really hers. I like the white one the best!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]He gets really defensive, and I don't want him thinking that I don't "like his family".  It's not the truth.  I just feel very awkward saying anything to him about that.  He has a memory like an elephant. 
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    Not to be an alarmist, but, again, his getting defensive and your protecting him and yourself from that by not discussing things, no matter what they are or if they are "worth" it will be a problem in your marriage.  Work on that far above dealing with these petty issues with your future in-laws.  If I might be so bold, I think that the fact you can't talk to him about this stuff is bothering you more than the issues themselves; you are transferring your frustration with him on to his mother as far as I can tell.  I could be wrong.  Examine it for yourself and figure it out.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Not to be an alarmist, but, again, his getting defensive and your protecting him and yourself from that by not discussing things, no matter what they are or if they are "worth" it will be a problem in your marriage.  Work on that far above dealing with these petty issues with your future in-laws.  If I might be so bold, I think that the fact you can't talk to him about this stuff is bothering you more than the issues themselves; you are transferring your frustration with him on to his mother as far as I can tell.  I could be wrong.  Examine it for yourself and figure it out.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    Um, are you in my head???!!!  How did you come up with that? 

    Kar, that's the reason, I know it is.  I am protecting him.  I don't want him to "think bad things".  I don't want him to think that I don't like his parents or family.  I do.  But, what's going on, is bothering me a bit.  I'm just worried that I might be making this larger than what it is, so is it worth it to tell him? 

    You're right about it all.  I'm doing everything you said.  I'm just so scared... of God knows what.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]LOL...I just want to stress that Lucy is way funnier in person...had a lovely lunch with her today, and met two of her kitties, one of whom is huge. Ok, they aren't really hers. I like the white one the best!
    Posted by lizinboston[/QUOTE]

    I'm jealous!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Goodness, I think you are a total sweetheart, and I think you are stressing too much about this!! I forget what this thread is even about....one of your GM wants to bring a date, and you don't want him to? If you don't want him to, tell him no, and that's it. Move on to something else you need to work on for your wedding.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Goodness, I totally feel your pain.  Sometimes I go ahead and tell DH his mother is a lunatic and other times I am afraid to offend him.  I have figured out when he will agree and when he will get defensive - It's a science.  I hope you will find the right way to let him know that all of these underlying things are causing you to freak out about other things.  Best of luck in enjoying your final weeks!!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

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    [QUOTE]LOL...I just want to stress that Lucy is way funnier in person...Posted by lizinboston[/QUOTE]

    Impossible!!  Tongue out
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    No...she really is, Heather! She even had a glass of wine with me at lunch, which gives her like 1,000 points!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    When his mother started going through her little freak outs about "losing her son to another woman" (me), he admitted to it.  He told me he appreciated how I handled it.  I have NEVER told him that his mom is this or that (anything negative), and I will never do that.  I have to find the right words.  When I'm stressing out, I keep things general, but they're geared towards certain people, in my head anyway.  I hate that I do that.  I hate that I feel I can't be honest with him.  But, I think it's because of a number of reasons.  The wedding's coming up, and along come all the stresses with that. 

    I'll get over it.  I'll be all right. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : Um, are you in my head???!!!  How did you come up with that?  Kar, that's the reason, I know it is.  I am protecting him.  I don't want him to "think bad things".  I don't want him to think that I don't like his parents or family.  I do.  But, what's going on, is bothering me a bit.  I'm just worried that I might be making this larger than what it is, so is it worth it to tell him?  You're right about it all.  I'm doing everything you said.  I'm just so scared... of God knows what.
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    You are allowed to overblow things and vent to your husband.  If he can't handle that, that's a problem.  I'm not saying you have a right to be a mellowdramatic freak every day and drag him down bolstering you up constantly, of course, but we should be TOTALLY FREE to be OURSELVES with our spouse and not filter our feelings and thoughts like you have taught yourself to do to save trouble.

    You really don't know what you are afraid of?  The Big C, Hon - Confrontation.  You don't know how to bring up difficult topics and he doesn't know how to handle them being brought to his attention.  Each fuels the others' problem.

    There are many books on this topic that will give you concrete methods to communicate things like this.  Go to Amazon and do a little searching around on handling confrontation constructively.  I bet for $20 you can get a book with a lot of very doable things to try.

    If this is not taken care of you will have marital problems that eventually will require professional intervention to help you communicate and deal with issues that have festered and caused resentment.  At that point not only will you have to learn to communicate effectively, you'll have to resolve the hurt and undo the resentment.  Better to learn to communicate when you anticipate it being uncomfortable before there are deeper issues to deal with as a result of not having learned earlier.

    How am I in your head?  When I read your posts I feel like I'm reading things I would have said myself about 10 years and a lot of learning, practicing, and life ago.  So, I'm not psychic - I'm an older version of you.  LOL :)
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Invites : You are allowed to overblow things and vent to your husband.  If he can't handle that, that's a problem.  I'm not saying you have a right to be a mellowdramatic freak every day and drag him down bolstering you up constantly, of course, but we should be TOTALLY FREE to be OURSELVES with our spouse and not filter our feelings and thoughts like you have taught yourself to do to save trouble. You really don't know what you are afraid of?  The Big C, Hon - Confrontation.  You don't know how to bring up difficult topics and he doesn't know how to handle them being brought to his attention.  Each fuels the others' problem. There are many books on this topic that will give you concrete methods to communicate things like this.  Go to Amazon and do a little searching around on handling confrontation constructively.  I bet for $20 you can get a book with a lot of very doable things to try. If this is not taken care of you will have marital problems that eventually will require professional intervention to help you communicate and deal with issues that have festered and caused resentment.  At that point not only will you have to learn to communicate effectively, you'll have to resolve the hurt and undo the resentment.  Better to learn to communicate when you anticipate it being uncomfortable before there are deeper issues to deal with as a result of not having learned earlier. How am I in your head?  When I read your posts I feel like I'm reading things I would have said myself about 10 years and a lot of learning, practicing, and life ago.  So, I'm not psychic - I'm an older version of you.  LOL :)
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    I sent you a friend request.  You're a kindred spirit.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    I'll see if I can figure out how to accept it...

    Well put, my friend.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    OK, I hit the check, and you're my "friend."  Now what do we do?
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]OK, I hit the check, and you're my "friend."  Now what do we do?
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    Ha, ha... I don't know.  I want to e-mail you, though.  I use my work address, so I don't want to post that.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]When his mother started going through her little freak outs about "losing her son to another woman" (me), he admitted to it.  He told me he appreciated how I handled it.  I have NEVER told him that his mom is this or that (anything negative), and I will never do that.  I have to find the right words.  When I'm stressing out, I keep things general, but they're geared towards certain people, in my head anyway.  I hate that I do that.  I hate that I feel I can't be honest with him.  But, I think it's because of a number of reasons.  The wedding's coming up, and along come all the stresses with that.  I'll get over it.  I'll be all right. 
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]
    Goodness, I wasn't trying to tell you to get over it! I just want you to make sure to take time for yourself. I didn't mean to offend you, if I did. :)
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    NO WAY, silly goose.  You didn't offend me one teeny bit. 

    I'm mostly writing it down, and thinking it to myself.  I know how I am.  I tend to overreact and blow things up.  I don't want that.  I'm trying to learn NOT to do that.  It's stressing me out, and my fiance is very NOT stressed out.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    Stress won't kill him - I have to imagine he's strong enough to love you the way you are.

    Another fear I see here since you sort of asked what you are afraid of is that he doesn't take you at your word.  You say, "If I say X he'll believe Y." 

    So, there are two huge fears going on here.  One, fear of confrontation.  Two, fear your husband won't take you at your word.

    I'd like to email, too.  How do you want to proceed?
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    And, Liz, I'm sure you are the only one who thought twice about your post.  It wasn't disrespectful in the slightest as Goodness confirmed.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Invites

    In Response to Re: Wedding Invites:
    [QUOTE]Stress won't kill him - I have to imagine he's strong enough to love you the way you are. Another fear I see here since you sort of asked what you are afraid of is that he doesn't take you at your word.  You say, "If I say X he'll believe Y."  So, there are two huge fears going on here.  One, fear of confrontation.  Two, fear your husband won't take you at your word. I'd like to email, too.  How do you want to proceed?
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    I'm so about anonymity, but I want to e-mail you!!!! 

    I have a few surprises that might make more sense once I e-mail you, kar.
     

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