Dress Remorse

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from klm44. Show klm44's posts

    Dress Remorse

    Hi ladies,

    My dress has come in for my October wedding and I was putting off going to try it on because I never felt like I fully loved it.  Well, I went today and left in tears.  I am not in love with it.  It didn't seem form fitting, I was't crazy about the look....  maybe I was being too critical but nothing made me feel beautiful in it.  I have only paid the 50% deposit and the store still has it because I didn't pay the balance.  I have just made two more appointments to try on dresses (Marry & Tux--because of the rave reviews; and back to La Sposa where I had a good first experience).  Did anyone else hve buyer's remorse?  What did you do?  I have that 'heart in the pit of my stomach' feeling. 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I think a lot of brides feel this way, and aren't always open with their feelings.  Perhaps if it fit better, you would like it more on yourself.  What are your thoughts?  If it's not your dream dress, then I would consider starting your search.  But, what about the 50% deposit that you put down on the dress.  Is that refundable? 

    I just wanted to mention that I did have remorse, too.  I found my dress, bought my dress, brought it home and put it on twice by myself.  I don't have a lot of room in my apartment to back up and look at myself, and I wasn't wearing all the necessary stuff underneath my dress.  It looked all floppy on me.  It looked terrible :(  I finally went into the bridal shop, cried to them that it might not be "the" dress, and they told me to bring it in, and they would exchange it for me!  I was so HAPPY!  I brought it back in, the woman who originally helped me in it, helped me again.  I put on the petticoat, the bra, she zipped me up, I had my heels on, my hair up... it was a perfect fit, too.  Then, I came out of the dressing room.  I had completely forgotten what it looked like!  I literally fell in love with it all over again, after I had the feelings that it wasn't my dress at all, it wasn't meant to be, I wanted something "totally different".  As it turns out, I just needed to be back in it, have a professional help me in it, with all the appropriate accessories.  It was perfect. 

    My point being, I think we have all have remorse about our dress.  It's for such a special day, you want it to be special.  If you don't feel that it's the dress you were meant to wear, by all means, look around!  You want to be happy and beaming on your wedding day and there after...
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I had remorse, and I know from another post on here that many brides feel the same way.  I bought a dress quickly, because my mom was with me and it was the only time she was able to go.  It was non refundable..so i was stuck with it.   I don't have my last fitting for a few weeks, not much I can do about it now.  I like my dress, but I have never felt that it was my dream dress.  
       I am also wondering if you can put the deposit towards a new dress at the same store?  If I had the chance now to change my dress and not forfeit what I spent, I would!   Also, seamstresses can work wonders, so maybe it was the fit of the dress and not the dress it self.  But if you don't love it and have the chance to change your mind, I'd do it! wish i could! :) 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I wasn't in love with my gown until it was altered; I could see the potential in it and I trusted my seamstress to make it THE gown...which she did.  A gown just isn't going to be or feel like THE ONE until it really fits you.  It transforms it completely.  If you choose to keep it for the expense you've already incurred, I'd be fairly confident you'll end up loving it after it's all fitted. 

    However, if you truly hate it and see no hope in it, I'd say if possible s*ck up the cost and get one you do love if for no other reason than to put your heart at ease. Count it as part of the cost of THE gown you do get.

    ~kar
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    Aw klm, I'm so sorry you feel this way!  But there must have loved the dress at some point if you decided to order it.  Like Goodness said -- did you try the dress on with the shoes/veil/jewelry/hair done/etc.?  Because that can make a world of difference in how it looks on you.


    My dress just came in a couple weeks ago.  When I first put it on, I felt the way you did...I wasn't crazy about it.  Just like your dress; it didn't seem form fitting and didn't look right.  However, the saleswoman pointed out everything about it that needed to be altered and I could see how it would look better once it was tailored to me.  I also threw on my shoes, veil, and headband, and it made the dress look a million times better!

    If you didn't already do so, bring your shoes, veil, jewelry, and headpieces to your next fitting.  Do your hair similar to how you plan on wearing it for the wedding, and wear a little more makeup than you're used to.  Then see how you feel.  I guarantee you'll feel better about your dress.  If you don't, then it may be time to start looking for a new one.  You may lose a 50% deposit, but you can't put a price on feeling totally beautiful and happy on your wedding day.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    Proper/helpful undergarments do a world of good, too.  Nothing like smoothing out the lumps and bumps...at least for me!!!!

    By the way, here's what my gown looked like before it was altered (taken at VOWS when I was deciding on it).  Note the bust and bodice don't fit, the lace is falling down, and WHAT was up with the original sleeve design???  (The veil was borrowed from the shop - they know it makes a difference to see it with the veil.)  All I can tell you is that my seamstress took this and turned it into the gown of my dreams.

    IMG_5676.jpg picture by kargiver
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from klm44. Show klm44's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    You are all right....  Seeing as it was just hugely too big for me and it wasn't laced up properly in the back corset, it may have something to do with it.  It is a halter top and, to be honest, I never looked twice at that style in any magazine or shop I went in.  I am wondering if some I felt pressure back in February when I bought it because as soon as I put it on, my mom and aunt were a full blown crying fest.  I think their tears made me tear...  Is it hideous?  Definitely not.  I just don't know it is the dress of my dreams.  To the many suggestions, I have to go with shoes, veil, the right bra, etc.  I am thinking that will make a difference.  I am headed there next week with these things and will have them do the corset in the back correctly so I can get a true idea about what it looks like on me.
    Thanks so much ladies!  My heart is already at ease a bit from you all :)
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    Try it on again with all your accessories, and undergarments.  Then, if you are still not crazy about it, look at other options.  Try and reason with the store, asking them if it's possible to put your deposit towards another dress.  Or, you might have to just s*ck it up and accept that you might not get the deposit back.  Have you spoken to your mother about this?  I know when I did, she was sympathetic and apologetic.  Apologetic because we were rushed.  I went with her, also, and we were "rushed" to buy something.  So, that's what happened to me.  I told her that I didn't know if it was the dress I was meant to wear on my wedding day, and she totally understood and said that I should go out there and find the dress of my dreams.  That really meant the world to me.  I didn't want to hurt her.  But, her understanding and compassion really did it for me.  She was there to support me in my feeling about my dress.  Then, I put it on again with all the accessories and undergarments, and it WAS the dress of my dreams.  Maybe I just needed to feel that it was okay to look around.  Some kind of okay from my mother.  It all worked out.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    If you try it with all of the suggestions above, and still aren't happy, my advice is to try on dresses that don't fit your "dream dress" profile. I know my perfect dress ended up being one I never would have thought I'd go for, but once it was on, I was in love.
    So, if you decide to get a different dress, try on dresses that are the complete opposite of it. Only then will you know what you're truly looking for.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    Proper/helpful undergarments do a world of good, too.  Nothing like smoothing out the lumps and bumps...at least for me!!!! By the way, here's what my gown looked like before it was altered (taken at VOWS when I was deciding on it).  Note the bust and bodice don't fit, the lace is falling down, and WHAT was up with the original sleeve design???  (The veil was borrowed from the shop - they know it makes a difference to see it with the veil.)  All I can tell you is that my seamstress took this and turned it into the gown of my dreams.
    Posted by kargiver


    Kar, show her the after picture!!!!!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    The before picture isn't coming up on my screen  :(
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from klm44. Show klm44's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I remember your dress vividly, Kar....  I LOVE that gown.  I am heading back next week with all the bells and whistles and trying it on again.  And you are all right, if it still doesn't feel right to me and I don't feel beautiful, it's not the right gown.  Wedding is in October so I think i still have time to rush one in if need be, I hope! :)
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    Hi KLM,
    Like the other posters, I had remorse as well.  In theory my dress was what I wanted (cap sleeves, beading, a train), but as the engagement grew longer and longer I liked it less and less.
    About 6 months before the wedding my mother offered to buy me a new one.  (I had bought mine at Filene's Basement and she felt badly that she wasn't with me and that we missed out on the whole dress shop experience.)
    Anyway, I decided to seriously consider it and made a list of every bridal designer I could think of.  I looked through every single dress on every single web site and there wasn't a single one I wanted to go try on at a store.  So it turns out, my dress was the one!
    If you still don't love your dress after you try it on next week, look through the web sites and see if there is anything you like better.  Maybe you too will realize it is the best for you.  Best wishes!!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from engagedkat. Show engagedkat's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I have to say I still like MY dress (i really heart it actually), but I HATE my bridesmaid dresses...and that's awful because it's not my money, they bought them...BUT I've only told my MOH and I'm going to make them a nicer with accessories...and some suggestions for alterations to make them look a lil more chic.
    they are just plain black, a-line, knee length. Nothing they'll wear again. but i want them to feel good.

    My point...if you don't feel good, it's totally worth any penny more you need to spend to get a new dress, or alter the heck out of yours. Seriously it's your wedding, not like...ahh..easter or something!!!! Go to VOWS on a week day and just keep trying on until you feel amazing.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I remember your dress vividly, Kar....  I LOVE that gown.  I am heading back next week with all the bells and whistles and trying it on again.  And you are all right, if it still doesn't feel right to me and I don't feel beautiful, it's not the right gown.  Wedding is in October so I think i still have time to rush one in if need be, I hope! :)
    Posted by klm44


    Thanks Liz and klm!  Can you (or anyone) see the before photo for comparison? Sorry, Goodness - thanks for pointing out you can't see it.  My seamstress really did do a LOT of work to turn it into what it was.

    Good luck, klm when you go back with your "stuff!"  :)
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I'll try the BDC's picture insert - Goodness, let me know if you see my "before" this time.  Thanks!  ~kar




     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from klm44. Show klm44's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I saw the picture both times, Kar.  The first was actually a nice big picture.  Gorgeous dress!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I saw the picture both times, Kar.  The first was actually a nice big picture.  Gorgeous dress!
    Posted by klm44


    Cool, I just wanted you to see how different (bad) it looks when it doesn't fit!  :)
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I didn't love my dress.  I even bought another one on eBay, but ended up returning it.  I couldn't justify spending the extra money after my original one was already altered etc.

    Hopefully you will re-love your dress after you try it on again.  If not, it would be GREAT if the bridal store would apply your deposit to another dress, but do not get your hopes up.  You'd then have to decide if you're willing to forfeit your deposit to buy something else. 

    I just couldn't justify the extra money -- the bottom line is you do only wear it for a few hours, and we were already scrimping on everything. 

    How you decide to handle it is up to you and your situation.  I hope you'll fall in love with it again and the question will answer itself.  Best of luck!!! 

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I remember your dress vividly, Kar....  I LOVE that gown.  I am heading back next week with all the bells and whistles and trying it on again.  And you are all right, if it still doesn't feel right to me and I don't feel beautiful, it's not the right gown.  Wedding is in October so I think i still have time to rush one in if need be, I hope! :)
    Posted by klm44


    Hi KLM - Any update?
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from ilovebeagles. Show ilovebeagles's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I toyed with wedding dress remorse until the week before my wedding! I hope this makes you feel better.

    My dress had a lot of issues, came in 10 inches too short, then huge, I wanted the neckline altered, and the hem was never right. Also, at a fitting, it is very hard to get a good idea of what it will really look like. People are tugging at you, pinning here and there, everyone is talking to you. Your hair and makeup arent done and you may not even have any of your accessories. It is overwhelming.
    I just didnt feel "bridesy", so I got nervous and worried that I didnt like my dress. One week before the wedding, my dress finally fit, after an emergency purchase of shorter shoes since the hem still wasnt right and I finally got to see the new neckline.

    Bottom line - my wedding day, with the dress just right and fitting perfectly, hair and makeup done, accessories on, it was the dress! I loved it.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from klm44. Show klm44's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    So...I am doing what many suggested and going on Monday to try on some other styles to either realize I selected the right dress, or to maybe find that I didn't :)  Since Marry & Tux was on my list months ago, I am heading there Monday to try, try again!  Thanks for all of your words of widsom :)
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from november2009. Show november2009's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    Kim44,
    Good Luck!  I hope you find a dress that makes you happy.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    I am worried that in a few months I won't like my dress, but I am not looking at anything online. I knew exactly what I wanted and found as close to possible as I could. Hopefully I will continue to love my dress, but you never know ;)
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from klm44. Show klm44's posts

    Re: Dress Remorse

    That is the problem with mine, I don't feel like I ever loved it....  So, for tomorrow's outing I am going to go it alone.  No mom, no friends, no relatives.  I think I was too swayed last time by others tears and jeers :)  I will let you all know how it turns out!
     
Sections
Shortcuts

Share