OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    If you wanted to make it more general feedback, you could point her in the direction of articles like, "12 Tips for Choosing Bridesmaid Dresses" such as on The Knot. these might help her understand that what she likes in the photos might not be best on all the girls without you having to be the "bad guy".

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    be honest with her. i dont see the problem. why would you even be worried about this? she is your fsil that you get along with... talk to her.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from preserves. Show preserves's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    I was recently asked to be in my FSIL's wedding party. She is very sweet and we get along well, in fact she is in my wedding party. She has been emailing me dresses for her party and asking for my opinion. The dresses have been not cute (just my opinion though). The dresses are more formfitting & low-cut/backless, I'm not amish but we will be in a church. They look ok on the 6ft. 100 lbs. models BUT there are a few full-figured girls in the party and you can just tell that the dresses will not be flattering. How do I nicely tell her my thoughts & concerns. I don't want to offend anyone or get off on the wrong foot and its not like my sister where I can be painfully honest. I also just don't want to but in but she did ask for my thoughts and I really need give some feed back on the 10+ dresses she sent me.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    I agree, just focus on the positive ones and turn up the compliment power on those. This will make your lack of comment on the others a little more obvious without being obnoxious (which is clearly your concern, I understand).

    As for the ones that will not be flattering on the larger women, NOT saying much can be just as effective and go over better than actually saying how you feel about them. A little shrug, half smile, and an "eh?" can say volumes without being mean.

    (fram, that's too funny - I bet you're awake now!)

    P.S. And, yes, if you are that close, Brighton is right, you can add that you aren't sure it will be flattering on all the body types that would have to wear it. She probably will appreciate it.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    If there are any that you liked, I would try to focus on the positive. I mean, she did ask for feedback, right? For the ones you don't like, you could just say that they're really cute dresses, but they might not be very flattering on everyone.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    I would say to stress the need for "support" in a dress.
    I.e. "That dress is beautiful, but I don't know if it could support a full bustline. I know I really need straps to keep things uinder control."

    That way you're not saying the dress isn't cute, you're just saying why it wouldn't work.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    LOL no problem Preserves! It was just a coincidence that she and I had been emailing back and forth about the dresses for my wedding and hers that very morning!

    And thank you Galire!! You just made my day :o)
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from preserves. Show preserves's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    Thanks for all the advice...she wasn't around when I called, so I responded to her email, with what I liked about one of the dresses, the color choice for the season but I did mention that I would feel much more comfortable in something a little less form fitting b.c i would want to eat at the reception and where there would be more control/support for those of us bigger than an A. I also provided some examples that were similar looking to what she had sent with a higher back & neckline....hope she isn't upset by my suggestion. Fram--sorry for the scare.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from galire87. Show galire87's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    I agree with Missy & also what Fra said (Fra I've been following your posts for what seems like forever now...you rock!). If she is a smaller sized woman she may not realize that those of us who are "more endowed" feel comfortable with umm..more support & more dress, Maybe you could find something a bit similar but with more coverage and say this is what I (and other BM's) would feel great in...
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    I think Missy gave you the best response. Talk to your FSIL!!!! - Vent your concerns. I agree with you totally, the dress you are describing is not really for a church wedding. It may look really cute at some other function. However, if this is a church wedding - I am with you, I would prefer something more "covered".
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    I like to do a little thing called "good news--bad news--good news." Ex.: That color is great! I'm not sure it would look great on all body types, though. The neck line is nice--any others like that?"
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    I agree with Brighton, one approach would be to choose the one you find the least revealing and say how much you like it!

    Is it possible she hasn't thought of how revealing/low-cut they are? The last wedding I was in, the bride was flat chested and weighed about 100 lbs. I don't think it occured to her how much my C cups would be popping out of that bm dress! (Not to mention someone else's D cups!) Overall the dresses were OK though so I didn't say anything.

    P.S. For a split second I thought this was a post from my FSIL who is in my wedding and heart started pounding :o)
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    OT-Dress Issue-am a BM & need help

    Sounds like you have a lot to choose from. Will you be able to try them on at some point? It can sometimes be very hard to tell from a picture on a model how it will look on you. Can you go from that angle and say something like well I like #3 and #6, but would really have to try them on to see how they look. I'd also go from the "I like these the best" over I don't like those ones. Focus on the positive!
     

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