2 weddings same day?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    This is a classic case of proving, yet again, that one cannot ever please everyone. 

    She should do what SHE thinks is right and let the chips fall where they may.  Whatever she chooses it will be wrong according to someone.

    Let her know she should be prepared for upsetting someone no matter what she chooses and to don her duck suit to let it roll off her like, well, you know.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    I agree with Kar. Those are two important events and I wouldn't want to miss either.

    If she's not eating at the boyfriend's sister's wedding and the bride doesn't have to pay for a plate for her, why would she care if she came after her friend's wedding? She's driving an hour to do both of them.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    I think the sister is being unreasonable.  I see no problem with your friend coming late to her wedding.  For my wedding, I woudl have been much happier to have someone come late than not come at all.  It seems like the sister is trying to force her to skip her best friends wedding, which is not very nice.

    Now, I'm assuming that your friend's boyfriend (the brother) is going to be at the sister's wedding all day.  If he is also skipping his sister's ceremony, I could see why the sister would be upset (and I would be too in her shoes).  I wouldn't mind my brother girlfriend missing my ceremony, but I would be unhappy if my brother also skipped it.

    Does that make sense?
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    How serious is your friend with this boyfriend? Unless they are very steady and already planning to get married, I can't see there is much of a problem here. Who knows where the BF will be in a year from now.
    I agree with trex, this sister is being unreasonable. I would hate to have her as a SIL in the future.
    If I were your friend, I would keep the plans, she already has, which is coming late to her BF's sister's wedding.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    In Response to 2 weddings same day?:
    [QUOTE]My friend has a dilema She has her best friends wedding the same day as her boyfriends sisters wedding. Her plan was to see the best friend get married then drive an hour to the reception for the boyfriends sisters wedding. However, she was told by the sister that it's not proper etiquette to show up to a wedding after it has started even knowing that this person isn't eating dinner so therefore she wouldn't have to pay for a plate that won't be eaten. Keep in mind the wedding is nine months away and they are demanding an answer as to whether she's coming or not.   As an outsider it seems as though the bride is being unreasonable and not understanding to the dilema my friend has. I think she's making every effort to make everyone happy. What should she do?
    Posted by wishinonastar47[/QUOTE]

    She should keep the plan she currently has. One of my sisters' now DH did exactly the same thing. My other sister was getting married the same day that his brother was getting married. He was in his brother's wedding, so obviously he attended that.  Then he drove an hour to attend my sister's reception w/ his now DW.  It worked out fine.  Everyone understood.  He actually ate at the reception, so I'm not sure why your friend isn't going to eat there.  Just mark the invitation down as a 'yes, I'm attending' and then skip the ceremony, attend the friend's ceremony, and then show up for the sister's wedding reception. She isn't even  going to notice whether she is there or not b/c she's  going to be busy getting married.  GL.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    Definitely - I noticed people I happened to see at the ceremony, of course, but if anyone had been missing in the church I'd SO not have noticed.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    I think her plan sounds fine. Her best friend's wedding is more important than the bf's sisters imo.  My close friend had this same exact thing happen to her, we were both in our friends wedding as a bm, a 2pm ceremony and then reception that went till about 7pm, she stayed till the end of the wedding, drove an hour to her bf's sister's wedding and wore her bm dress. She was already dressed up and her bf was very busy with her sister's wedding to care whether she was late or not. Not sure why the bride would really care so much about her brother's gf. She's making an effort to go, she could be saying no and not go at all! 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    i'm thinking along the same lines as the other posters.  how serious is your friend with her boyfriend?  is it a ltr?  is marraige planned?

    if it were me i would definetly attend my friends wedding.  good chance your friend & the friend who is getting married have been friends for a while.    then quietly excuse myself and "stop in" at the boyfriend's sisters wedding.

    I've seen a somewhat similar (not exact) situations.  A good friend of was getting married and the only month of the year that her DH wanted to get married was june.  by the time they reserved the hall, all the saturdays were booked solid, so they went w/the first sunday...a day where there is ALOT of commitments (HS graduations, dance recitals, christenings, etc.).  alot of people left after the meal to attend other functions, and several others stopped in later on during the reception, well after the meal... 
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from wishinonastar47. Show wishinonastar47's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    This friend has been with her boyfriend for a long time and while they aren't engaged yet, marriage is in the future. I agree the sister is being unreasonsable. I think she needs a lesson in proper etiquette. The wedding is NINE months away and it's extremely rude to tell someone they A) can't come to the reception and B) i need an answer so i can invite someone else if your not coming. Tacky is what comes to mind here...Thank you all for the advice. I just needed to hear it from others
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    I missed the part about her wanting to "invite someone else" if she is not going! Wow, she's up front isn't she! I don't understand her problem with her going to the reception and not feeding her, she can invite someone else still if your friend does this.  If I had people say to me that they could come to my wedding but not be there for dinner, I'd be thinking great, I can still see you and I don't have to pay for your meal ha! Best of both worlds!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from zenbat. Show zenbat's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    I agree that I'd rather have a guest come late than not at all! And sheesh, sister needs a crash course in etiquette. Maybe she's anxious about guest numbers, but still! Facing a similar situation myself. One of my FI's best friends is going to be best man at another wedding the same day as ours. I am very disappointed that he and his wife won't be at our wedding. The other wedding is in town too, so they might be able to make some of the reception. If they did so, we'd be very happy.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    I agree with the other posters that sister is being unreasonable. BF needs to step up and defend your friend. If she's not eating dinner, there's no reason why sister can't just invite the other person who will be having dinner and your friend can jsut get there afterwards and enjoy the dancing.
    Unless she's having one of those boring, extremely structured receptions where most people are sitting in their assigned seats for most of the evening, it relly shouldn't be a problem.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    Sorry but I would not make ANY effort to attend BF's sister's wedding.

    Let BF go to his sister's wedding, and let your friend really enjoy herself at her friend's wedding. 

    Since bridezilla is rudely demanding an answer now, you have to tell her no, you cannot attend.  Since she can't bear the thought of you stopping by later, just don't.  Problem solved.

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    In Response to Re: 2 weddings same day?:
    [QUOTE]Sorry but I would not make ANY effort to attend BF's sister's wedding. Let BF go to his sister's wedding, and let your friend really enjoy herself at her friend's wedding.  Since bridezilla is rudely demanding an answer now, you have to tell her no, you cannot attend.  Since she can't bear the thought of you stopping by later, just don't.  Problem solved.
    Posted by cosmogirl[/QUOTE]

    I agree.
    yes, it may burn the bridge as far as bridezilla is concerned, but I really do think that's what I would do.
    I'd say "I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess I won't be able to attend. I really wish I could." and then go have a blast at my friend's wedding.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    i too missed the "so I can invite someone else" thing.  the sister sounds like she's being a bridezilla...

    I'd definetly go to the friends wedding..
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    I agree whole hearted with Cosmo. Unless her BF is really pressuring your friend to attend his sister's wedding, I would drop future SIL for her friend.
    BF may want you friend to be there to introduce her to his extended family. Those opportunities does not come often.
    Otherwise - like Cosmo said, enjoy your best friends wedding to the end and forget about your BF's sister. She does sound like a bridezilla. - Pingo








     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: 2 weddings same day?

    I agree with Cosmo - go to only one wedding and stay for the reception - and that's the best friend's wedding.  Becuse if she tries to do both she'll end up possibly feeling rushed and not enjoy either one - the first because she's zooming out right after the ceremony, or right after the cocktail hour, then driving an hour (and who knows, traffic might make this more like 1.5 hours...never know!) and then not eating at the reception because she'll be too late to do so (I'm assuming).  so she'll feel like she wasn't at either.

    Better to just do one and do it right and enjoy it!  and since future SIL is being a PITA, I'd decline now.

    Also, if I were her and discovered on the actual wedding day that I REALLY wanted to go to the SIL reception (and not eat) because it really was going to work and not feel rushed, then I simply WOULD do it without announcing it in advance!  If she arrives after the food, there simply isn't an issue, except I suppose she might not have a seat, but by then everyone is up, milling around, dancing, etc. and there are usually plenty of places to sit! 

    Then SIL can't get all het up (and really, if she sees her at the reception that day she'll just be happy to see how, what with her bridal glow). 
     
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