A Real DOOZIE!

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    Pink, I wish I had the ability to "like" your post. 

    The "Look at me, I am so progressive and ultra-modern that I eschew momentous events and memories that make millions of people happy as meaningless and gauche to perpetuate my own too-cool-for-school disposition and elevate myself on a pedestal of self-satisfaction" is getting sooooooooo tiresome. Don't do it if you don't like. But let other people have their moments. 

    Also, please do elope to Hawaii and then tell me what it costs. It will certainly be a lot more than my wedding. 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    Good point, WPP! it's like when I mention my dog and then someone launches into their "I don't like dogs" schpiel. Good for you, you don't like dogs, you're clearly a much better person than me because you don't have a dog Here's a cookie, you win the smug award for the day!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from augustbride20. Show augustbride20's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    For me, and my my fiance, we both feel like we could never bring a child into this world unless we were married. But, that is just us. No one has to agree with us. Also, marriage is a deeper, different type of commitment to me/us. But, again, that is my/our opinion, and no has to agree with it, or anyone else's opinions.
     
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  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    All parties are frivolous, but are they all a waste?  Saving the money would have cost us a great time with the people we love that neither of us were willing to sacrifice.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from mezzogal1124. Show mezzogal1124's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]You're all missing the point which was that marriage has absolutely nothing to do with your wedding. 1 is a legal/religious/social designation, whereas a wedding is a frivilous display that has only gotten more and more out of control.
    Posted by some-guy[/QUOTE]

    The wedding industry is out of control.  Couples who go into debt to finance the Rolls Royce limo/ice luge/giant centerpieces/deluxe honeymoons they just had to have are, likewise, out of control.  I agree with you there.

    But I vehemently disagree that weddings themselves are "frivolous displays."  Different strokes for different folks.  If you don't want to celebrate your marriage with friends and family, then don't, but please refrain from getting smug with people for whom doing so is a meaningful experience. 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    I disagree that marriage and wedding have nothing to do with each other.  The vows I wrote and took at my wedding are with me every day. My husband and I talk about what we promised to each other on that day and take that very seriously.  Before the wedding ceremony, we didn't necessarily have the words to convey what we really wanted our lives together to be like - how we wanted to treat each other and our marriage... the ceremony made us put all of those thoughts and feelings into concrete words that we can now say to each other. 

    It's much too easy to go about life without ever figuring out how to say those important things, and without the wedding ceremony we would not have had the opportunity to really reflect on what it was we wanted for our marriage and come up with the words to really tell each other.

    The wedding was a concrete beginning of our marriage, and to us there was no better or stronger way to start than to have our ceremony and a big happy party with all of our loved ones there, celebrating with us and having just a wonderful day.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from domino88. Show domino88's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]You're all missing the point which was that marriage has absolutely nothing to do with your wedding. 1 is a legal/religious/social designation, whereas a wedding is a frivilous display that has only gotten more and more out of control.
    Posted by some-guy[/QUOTE]

    I’ve been married for 35 years, believe me, I know the difference between marriage and the wedding celebration.  You don’t seem to get that all weddings are not equal. 

    You’ve made it clear that you regret your wedding, the amount of money and energy that went into it.  That is your problem.  My husband and I still have giddy memories of our special day and all those who spent it with us.  And celebrating the marriages of my daughters was an experience I wouldn't trade for the world.  Those of us defending the celebration aspect of it, didn’t go beyond our means and have no regrets.  Stop projecting the mistakes some people in this country make on all of us.  Do you always generalize?

    Check your facts.  Expensive weddings are not new, nor are they strictly an American phenomenon.  Like I said above, yes there is a wedding industry in this country that didn’t exist not long ago, but in many other cultures it is the norm to spend large amounts of money on weddings (see Middle Eastern and Egyptian cultures), and this is not a new trend.

    I find it entertaining that you are bringing up the issue of frivolous weddings in a thread started by a bride who spent 8k on her wedding.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]You're all missing the point which was that marriage has absolutely nothing to do with your wedding. 1 is a legal/religious/social designation, whereas a wedding is a frivilous display that has only gotten more and more out of control.
    Posted by some-guy[/QUOTE]

    Yes, 'marriage' is a legal/religious/social designation. However, one cannot get married w/o a wedding first occurring.  A wedding if it is a religious one, has specific steps that have to be followed. Even a JOP wedding has certain things that are required, ie vows. What you seem to have a problem with is a wedding RECEPTION, which is not required for a wedding to be valid.

    I would agree that some can get out of control. However, most people have them b/c the wedding, and all that it symbolizes [ie, entering the marital state] is joyful to them and they want to celebrate w/ their family and friends.  I know that's why we had our reception. However, it didn't get out of control nor did we go into debt. Since I seriously doubt that you were present at my or other poster's weddings [all of my DH's and my guests seemed happy to be there; I doubt even the best actor among them would be able to mask the vitriol that you spew regarding weddings], I don't know how you can make a blanket statement that ALL wedding receptions are out of control and expect anyone to take it seriously. Yes, SOME people get out of control [check out Platinum Weddings and the like].  But some people get out of control no matter what thye are doing. You don't need there to be a wedding for people to act like extravagant idiots. 

    ETA: you've mentioned before that you are married. Does your wife know that you have such a low view of weddings and marital state?  Do you have NO happy memories of your own wedding?  If not, how sad.

    Do you never enjoy yourself, throw a party or have fun, just b/c?  Living in a yurt and eating dog food b/c it's cheap while banking your bucks doesn't sound like a ton of fun. Sometimes you just need to cut loose and have some fun. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    Indeed, all parties could be considered frivolous - how sad a world would it be with no get togethers where people spent money they could have saved and been buried with!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]Do you never enjoy yourself, throw a party or have fun, just b/c?  Living in a yurt and eating dog food b/c it's cheap while banking your bucks doesn't sound like a ton of fun. Sometimes you just need to cut loose and have some fun. 
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    I lived that life during law school (I suspect you did, as well).  It's no fun.  Even when going to school full time, living off of $260 a week, and spend 12+ hours a day doing homework, it's necessary to take a moment to have some fun, just because.  Sometimes you even have to go wild, invite a friend over, and spend $20 on pizza and beer.  A life with NO FUN is no life.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from beastsgirl. Show beastsgirl's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    Kargiver,Lucy. Ditto. I do love marriage ceremonies(of all kinds) ,and the joy of the reception afterward, be it 100.00 or thousands of dollars does mean something to all attending. Is'nt life meant to be lived,and joyful however one sees fit
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ambergirl. Show ambergirl's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    I got married by a JP and we went to Jimmy's Harborside restaurant (no longer there) and had a private room with 20 of our closest family and friends.  With all the weddings we had gone to with our friends, they said ours was so much fun.  I love weddings, big and small.  It is all about the love

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE! : I lived that life during law school (I suspect you did, as well).  It's no fun.  Even when going to school full time, living off of $260 a week, and spend 12+ hours a day doing homework, it's necessary to take a moment to have some fun, just because.  Sometimes you even have to go wild, invite a friend over, and spend $20 on pizza and beer.  A life with NO FUN is no life.
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    I did, Lucy.  Except I didn't live in a yurt or eat dogfood. I lived with my parents b/c I had no income other than loans. I stretched out what I made during the summer for spending money.  That was my "woo hoo, pizza and a beer!" money.  Somedays, I dreamed of living in the yurt, but my parents' house was a least heated and had hot running water.  :-) 
     
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  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ambergirl. Show ambergirl's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    Wow.....  seriously do her a favor and file for divorce.  You are a very angry and bitter person and it cannot be fun living with you either....
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE! : I did, Lucy.  Except I didn't live in a yurt or eat dogfood. I lived with my parents b/c I had no income other than loans. I stretched out what I made during the summer for spending money.  That was my "woo hoo, pizza and a beer!" money.  Somedays, I dreamed of living in the yurt, but my parents' house was a least heated and had hot running water.  :-) 
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    I didn't eat dog food.  However, there is an argument that chunk light tuna is catfood.   I actually had an apartment with roommates, but I would live in a yurt and eat dog food before living with my parents (plus, I didn't need heat in CA).  
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]Yep, she knows.  I've actually made a decision to stop going to weddings because I just despise them so.  The way people act around/during weddings & receptions is ridiculous.  Forcing people to be there if they don't want to, making a big deal about a seating assignment, forcing people to dance or making a fuss if they choose not to.  You 'have' to do this and you 'can't' do that - It's all a giant farse in my opinion. Last wedding I went to I got so annoyed by it all that I left the reception and spent those 4 hours in the hotel bar watching baseball while everyone else was in the ballroom doing the YMCA.  A much better use of time in my opinion. On top of the fact that yeah, I regret doing the wedding & reception on my end, I feel I got duped into it because my wife has turned in to a complete Sh**bag since we've been married and wasn't before.  So there it is.
    Posted by some-guy[/QUOTE]

    Then, it's probably time to invest in a yurt and start researching divorce attoneys.  And perhaps a therapist to work through your unreasonable anger.  Do your wife and yourself a favor and leave.  You might start enjoying life a bit more then.  Who knows? Maybe you'll even crack a smile some day. You make Dr. House look like Patch Adams. 
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from beastsgirl. Show beastsgirl's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    SomeGuy,How you feel right now has gotta s...k. It's not worth being that miserable. Either fix it,or get out. Being cynical of others choice of celebrating a joyful event isn't helping your situation. I wish you the best. bg.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE! : I’ve been married for 35 years, believe me, I know the difference between marriage and the wedding celebration.   You don’t seem to get that all weddings are not equal.  You’ve made it clear that you regret your wedding, the amount of money and energy that went into it.   That is your problem.  My husband and I still have giddy memories of our special day and all those who spent it with us.  And celebrating the marriages of my daughters was an experience I wouldn't trade for the world.   Those of us defending the celebration aspect of it, didn’t go beyond our means and have no regrets.   Stop projecting the mistakes some people in this country make on all of us.   Do you always generalize? Check your facts.   Expensive weddings are not new, nor are they strictly an American p henomenon.  L ike I said above, yes there is a wedding industry in this country that didn’t exist not long ago, but in many other cultures it is the norm to spend large amounts of money on weddings (see Middle Eastern and Egyptian cultures), and this is not a new trend. I find it entertaining that you are bringing up the issue of frivolous weddings in a thread started by a bride who spent 8k on her wedding.
    Posted by domino88[/QUOTE]

    Great post.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]Yep, she knows.  I've actually made a decision to stop going to weddings because I just despise them so.  The way people act around/during weddings & receptions is ridiculous.  Forcing people to be there if they don't want to, making a big deal about a seating assignment, forcing people to dance or making a fuss if they choose not to.  You 'have' to do this and you 'can't' do that - It's all a giant farse in my opinion. Last wedding I went to I got so annoyed by it all that I left the reception and spent those 4 hours in the hotel bar watching baseball while everyone else was in the ballroom doing the YMCA.  A much better use of time in my opinion. On top of the fact that yeah, I regret doing the wedding & reception on my end, I feel I got duped into it because my wife has turned in to a complete Sh**bag since we've been married and wasn't before.  So there it is.
    Posted by some-guy[/QUOTE]

    What are you TALKING about??  Wow, you obviously spend your time letting other people dictate what you do if you are being "forced" go to weddings and dance!  What ever happened to declining an invitation, or NOT dancing?

    Dude, if you're not happy, you're the only one who can change your situation, and yours is the ONLY situation you can change.  You can't change the minds of any of us here by posting repeatedly.  It seems you hate your life and it appears that the only action you're brave enough to take is to come on here and dump on weddings anonymously.  Yikes.  Good luck with that getting you anywhere.
     
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  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    In Response to Re: A Real DOOZIE!:
    [QUOTE]As for being 'forced' yeah, because you 'have' to go to your family's wedding right? Just like you 'have' to invite uncle Charlie to your's.  And if you go but don't dance you're some sort of reject right?  Because 'everyone' loves to dance and it's just what you do at wedding receptions.. It's all BS to me.
    Posted by some-guy[/QUOTE]

    No.  You don't have to do any of that.  Why would you think you had to?
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    Some-guy, I know you aren't trying to sway anyone, sounds like you're venting.  Sorry you are having a hard time.  You know my background; my heart goes out to you.  Not that you wrote seeking a poor that-guy fest, but fwiw best to you as you sort out your next move.  It's got to be a move of some sort...life's short, and as angry as you are right now, stewing in bitterness, you have a lot going for you and if you were to get into a good situation...it just takes more gumption than I thought I had to make it happen.  I couldn't even say it out loud without feeling like I was going to pass out when I decided to get a divorce, but it was worth it.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from ambergirl. Show ambergirl's posts

    Re: A Real DOOZIE!

    "On top of the fact that yeah, I regret doing the wedding & reception on my end, I feel I got duped into it because my wife has turned in to a complete Sh**bag since we've been married and wasn't before.  So there it is."
     
    Yes this is a forum and everyone can agree to disagree but I think you are missing the point.  Calling your wife a complete Sh**bag and saying you were duped into marrying her takes this to a different discussion.  Nobody in life is ever forced to do anything and like I said, please file for divorce for her sake too.  I could never imagine living with a man who hated the fact he married me.  That is just so sad on so many levels.
     
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