As "odd" or funny it might be that the bride and groom included the registry in with their invites, I'm sure it was an honest mistake. Let's not damn this bride and groom for not knowing the "right" way to do things. I speak to many brides and grooms all the time who have no clue all the things they are "supposed to do", etc. I'm sure it was an honest mistake. A funny one, at that, but honest mistake.

who would ever think it is okay to solicit for gifts for a party they are having??When you have a college graduation party, people dont include a list of gifts they want, same thing with christmas, birthdays, going away parties, etc. all of those events are events in which the guests will most likely bring a gift. Same thing for a wedding. to include a registry card is just demanding a gift. it is common sense not to demand gifts from people. its also downright rude.

Frame, Alf is correct. Faux pas is the same in plural. Directly translated it means "false step" - so it is actually a combination of an adjective and a noun.

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Oh la la - another frenchy onboard? Yay![/Quote]

LOL. I had French Canadian nuns for grammar and middle school. We were compelled to take French. Of course, we all acquired an abysmal French Canadian accent. C'est la vie!

WOW....that's all I can say/think

I see the point, but there are seriously ignorant people out there who can still mean well. Weddings are gift giving occassions, and most couples register for gifts (unlike for Christmas, birthdays, etc). They could just innocently want to "help" people by including it. I know it's wrong, wrong, wrong, but I can still see it being a mistake and not a gift grabby thing.

Good idea, lucy!

Fram, sorry to disappoint, but I'm merely sounding pretentious - I don't have any French in me...until I have fries. :)

ALF, thanks for the French answer! I've always wondered, and, sadly, I took French in high school and couldn't remember.

I'd agree with it being lazy, but is it possible that there are ignorant people out there who think they are doing the right wedding thing by purposefully using "and guest?" Please, I need to think so....please!

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I get what you're saying kar, I think to me, what bothers me more and more is that just because a couple decides to wed, they automatically assume that they get to make a list and are entitled to people buying them stuff. Its the entitlement attitude I cannot stand. It is like the couple forgets the big picture and gets so caught up in planning an elaborate party that costs a fortune and in receiving lots of gifts. what ever happened to people just getting married and celebrating with those they love? why does it have to be such a huge thing now?

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Missy, do you have a registry yourself?

I did, and didn't see anything wrong wit it. However, I would rather die than send out registry cards w/ my invitations, or to know someone sent them out w/ the shower invitations. I think it is entirely possible to have a registry and not be greedy or interested in a gift grab.

Also, I am routinely asked what I want for my birthday and Christmas by my family. They have never gone out and just purchased some random gift - at least since I've been over the age of 15. I also ask them what they want. We don't establish a registry of a written list, but we certainly do ask people what they want.

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They should think otherwise because they most likely do not receive them in other people's wedding invitations, so why put it in their own[/Quote]

Most people don't think that way. If they even thought, "Hmmm... I've never seen these cards in invitations before," they probably just figured that the other couples mailed invitations before registering. Most people don't like to think they're being rude.

I just dont understand how someone cannot know it is rude to include the registry card. You never ever ever host a party and solicit for gifts, whether it is graduation, birthday, christmas or a wedding. they are all gift giving events and you never ever make a list of what you want and include it with the invitation. that is just common sense and inexcusable.

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They should think otherwise because they most likely do not receive them in other people's wedding invitations, so why put it in their own[/Quote]

Gosh, I thought I had high expectations of poeple! The invitation company tells you that that's what those cards are for. Why is it so hard to think that people may trust these professionals and use them for what they are printed for? And, how many wedding invitations have they gotten before to compare? Even if others have been received and didn't have the cards in them, what would prevent them from thinking what a pain it was to not be given that information and making sure they were more considerate than that? Of course, they are mistaken; I can't stress that enough, but there is plenty of reason to give them the benefit of the doubt here.

The key difference is that those aren't events people register for. That's information they could seriously think is helpful to pass along. They may not see it as soliciting for gifts but merely helping their guests have information that they think they would want. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one.

I said I personally try to refrain from using "tacky" or other such words when referring directly to posters or their choices.
In this case we're referring to a choice made by your co-worker, who will presumably not be reading this thread. Therefore, standing no chance of being offended.

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Like I said...its not so much one individual thing that bothered me...its just the combo of all of it...

and ps...aren't we not supposed to use the word "takcy" anymore...I thought it was on the banned word list ;)[/Quote]

What we do agree on is that it is rude. We disagree only with the possible reason behind it. You assume it's a selfish gift grabby thing, and it could be, but I give them the room to merely think they are being helpful. Doesn't seem too impossible a thought to me, but I guess that's what disagreement is all about!

[Quote] My coworker definitely knows my husbands name (first and last) however I am sure it was his fiance that did the invitations...which also were addressed not by hand and not even printed...but on a sticker as well to top it off. Maybe it was just the combo that got me so thrown off. That and they included registry info as well...It just goes against all I have learned from this board! I guess she is not a BDC member![/Quote]

Maybe we could ask the Commonwealth to require everyone to spend a couple of weeks here before granting a marriage license...

Maybe they've never been invited to a wedding before. That's a distinct possibility.
I was the first of my group of friends and cousins to get married. I'd never recieved an invitation addressed to me personally. All the wedding I'd attended up until that point, I had attended as a just or with my parents.

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They should think otherwise because they most likely do not receive them in other people's wedding invitations, so why put it in their own[/Quote]

Deebs, some people just don't get it.

I had a registry and I really wanted what I put on it. I knew not to put the info in our invitations, but I did fill it in on the Knot's website I created for us.

But, let's not turn Missy into a villain over this, though, seriously. I think she does have a good point that the gift part of weddings has gotten pretty darned large in proportion to the whole wedding/reception experience, and maybe it is too bad to have so much focus on the gifts. I think that's the only point she's making if she doesn't mind my saying so.

ETA: And to Goodness's point, I'd go so far as to say 999 of 1000 couple expect wedding gifts. Don't they? Society is what it is. It doesn't make those couples evil, it's just the very well established custom, now.

[Quote]right, and most places that hand out registry cards say "you can stick these iny our invitations"
So, if you didn't know better, why would you think otherwise?

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They should think otherwise because they most likely do not receive them in other people's wedding invitations, so why put it in their own

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LOL. I had French Canadian nuns for grammar and middle school. We were compelled to take French. Of course, we all acquired an abysmal French Canadian accent. C'est la vie![/Quote]

I majored in French in college and I use it never. But I still love it and I was really pleased to discover that I still have it when we went to France this fall!

I'm going to have to look into this faux pas question... not because I doubt you, but I'm intrigued. I'm trying to figure out if it originally came from a verb or a noun.

So it sounds like your real problem with it is the fact that it's the absolute norm to register these days, and this is driving your reluctance to believe it could possiblly be a truely innocent mistake for them to have included the info. Thanks for responding more in depth.

ETA: Did I understand correctly?

Well that is an interesting story! And I see your point, deebs, they could have just written Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

I was so relieved when I realized the invitations to my dad's friends could be addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. Do you think he knows all their wives' names?!!

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The plural of faux pas is faux pas. It's pronounced differently though, as "faux paz" rather than "faux pa". ;-)[/Quote]


Oh la la - another frenchy onboard? Yay!