Another gift question

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from teacherinmass. Show teacherinmass's posts

    Another gift question

    I'm a bridesmaid for a friend who I also work with. Of course there are the typical expenses (dress, shoes, hair, hotel, etc), but I'm wondering what to spend on gifts. Typically, I spend somewhere between 50 and 100 dollars for a shower gift (depending on what I find for person), and then 100 - 200 cash for the wedding gift (Depending on how well I know the person, how close we are, etc).
    I will be attending a shower outside of work, a shower at work, the bacherlorette, and then the wedding.
    I was thinking of spending 75 for the first shower, skipping a gift for the work shower- I made her an apron with my sewing machine, so I could give that, some kind of lingerie for the bacherlorette, and then something else from the registry for the wedding (around 75 dollars again).
    My boyfriend thinks I'm spending way too much. I can afford it, but it does seem a bit over the top.
    What do you guys think?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    when you're a bridesmaid it can be costly.  i'd skip the gift for the work shower, as well as skip the gift for the bachlorette party (usually lingere is given at the regular shower)...maybe its me, but I've never heard of a gift being given for a bachlorette party.

    one time both my brother & i were attendants @ weddings for friends of ours who were getting married around the same time...we thought we'd keep a running total (with receipts) to compare the costs of being an usher vs. being a bridesmaid.  We included all "costs" from attire (w/accessories, alterations, etc.), to showers, to parties, to gifts..everything.

    When both weddings were over, we tallied up the receipts...my brother spent $500.  I spent $5,000., and the bride I was an attendant for wasn't a bridezilla..or overly demanding.. 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    Bachelorettes don't typically involve gifts. You may end up paying [w/ the other bridesmaids] for the bride's freight, but that's about it.  $75 for a shower is normal.  You are only expected to give one shower gift if you attend multiple showers for one wedding.  You could give the bride a card at the work shower, but you don't need to.  HTH!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    I think it is the going trend to give something at the bachelorette party (i've been to 4 recently and the bride got gifts of some kind) but I would not spend a lot on that gift.  Many were funny joke gifts from spencers, karma sutra book/cards etc.  I got my friend a nice lingerie set from tjmaxx that was a nice brand and spent $15 or something. I would not spend more than that if you get a gift for the bachelorette party. 

    The other gifts, it really depends.  I usually spend 50 on a shower gift, and then cash for the wedding gift.  I would usually give 150 for a wedding gift, but as a bm in a wedding I would give less if I had a lot of other expenses involved.  I just traveled for a wedding and between flights, hotel, boarding my dog, I just could not afford to give 150-200 for the wedding gift.  I spend about 100 on a nice item for the bride's kitchen that I know she wanted but didn't register for.   
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    When I'm a BM, I usually give the same type/price gifts that I would normally give.  Pretty similar to what you mentioned - $50-100 for a shower gift and $100-200 for a wedding gift.  If anything, I lean towards the higher end because the bride is presumably a close friend.  However, I have never been in a wedding where the expenses were ridiculous.  That would probably affect how much I could afford on gifts.

    I agree that you do not need to give a gift at both showers and that bachelorette gifts are optional.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    If you have to pay for stuff at the bachelorette party (like splitting the cost of the event and paying for the bride), then I wouldn't get a present for it.  I figure the party is the present.

    Definitely only one shower present.  Unless you guys are hosting the shower, in which case I always thought hosting the party was your shower present to the bride.

    I usually do about $50 to $75 for the shower and then about $100 to $200 for the wedding depending on how close we are to the couple.  Being a BM is expensive, and I'm sure your friend appreciates everything else you are doing.  So I don't think it is necessary to go overboard on gifts.  Just spend what you want to spend, no more than that.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    Trex, I feel the same about the shower gift!!  It's great if BMs can throw a shower and get a gift, but so not required.  The shower itself is expensive enough.  I said that in front of some friends/acquaintances recently and they all looked at me like I was crazy.  They were b*tching that the BMs at a recent shower only got the bride monogrammed towels, so I pointed out that they did also throw her a shower.  Some people are so ungrateful.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    I've only been to a couple of "bachelorette" nights.  No one gave the bride a gift but everyone chipped in to cover her expenses for the night, so you would be expected to contribute to that.

    I think you should spend whatever you are comfortable with for the shower and wedding presents.  A homemade gift, like the apron, is a GREAT idea for the work shower. 

    As long as you give her SOMETHING, you can't go wrong. 
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    I agree that the bachelorette party IS the gift.  The bride gets a free night out with her friends, and each of you picks up a little more of the tab than you would if you went out alone. 

    Even if the bachelorette party is, say, movies and wine at a BM's house, a gift still isn't expected (other than bringing an inexpensive bottle of wine).
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    I agree that I think of bachelorette parties as being the gift to the bride - a fun night or day out.  However the most recent one I went to, many people gave the bride an additional gift. I did not was a bit embarassed!  Not that I should have been, necessarily, but I was.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    At the past 3-4 bachelorette parties I attended gifts were given, but it was the type of thing where 15 people attended and only 2 or 3 gave joke gifts or lingerie.  Went to one in June where one of the BMs gave the bride a tube top so she wouldn't have tanlines.  Just for fun.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Another gift question

    I agree that you should skip a gift for the work shower. When it comes to the other gifts, don't aim for a price range, look at the registry and figure out what you want to get her instead of what you want to spend. That's what I do. I usually find something nice I want to give that doesn't cost a fortune.
    You give what you can reasonably afford.
     
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