Babies at weddings

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdd01. Show jdd01's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Lucy, will you call my cousin for me?!  lol...That was pure perfection!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    her thoughts about what she can and cannot do with a 4mo old might change once she's actually given birth and has had to care for it.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    I disagree w/ Jasmine too. If you know you have a friend or relative w/ a kid who is a holy terror, but every other kid on your potential list is an angel, go ahead and exclude the PITA kid.  Also, even if you have 16 kids coming, as long as your cousin's baby is the only infant, I think you can easily impose a No Infants policy. 
    It's a wedding, not a rally for the ACLU. If you want to exclude an infant based on their status as an infant, by all means do so.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

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    I'd be happy too, but you run the risk of her failing to understand my sarcasm.  Sealed
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdd01. Show jdd01's posts

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    Yeah, I don't even think she knows what sarcasm means truthfully.


    I am going to try to implement a "No Children Under 5" rule and see how it goes.  I'm also going to revisit the whole bringing children at all to the wedding.  $40 for chicken fingers and fries is a little ridiculous.  The 16 kids are slowly eating away at my budget and I don't really want them there in the first place.  We'll see how that goes.



     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    just remember that you can't let "if they can't bring their kids, they won't come" hang over your head. It's their choice whether to come or not. If they decide not to, it's not your fault.
    I remember going to weddings as a child. I remember being miserable because if I did anything besides sit quietly, I got in trouble. The ceremonies seemed endless, the tables and chairs weren't suited for children, the food was only picked at, and the dancing was only fun for a short time. Four hours is too long to expect any child to be the picture of perfect behavior.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    If the reason you were originally including children is because of OOT guests perhaps you could line up a few babysitters and offer them to those people with children.

    I come from a big family and having my cousins at the wedding is important to me but having my cousin's children was pushing it.  I have lined up a few potential babysitters (my sister's friends - all college age) to babysit for anyone that would like it at their hotel.  However, I will not be paying for the babysitter, just merely helping out the OOT guests.  Most of my cousins with children have said they will leave them at home and hire their own babysitter so it has become a non-issue.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    I respectfully invite dkb out to dinner with us the next time we go to a "nice" restaurant because there will inevitably be a screeching, teething baby and a toddler who cannot sit in his seat sitting at the table next to us.  (I swear we have an invisilbe put-the-bratty-ones-next-to-us aura....)

    The parents will sit there oblivious (they are probably deaf) despite the dirty looks of all around them.

    Ditto the parents of ill-behaved children at weddings.

    I have been to two in which the vows were drowned out by screaming children.  What is the matter with parents?  Really!!!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    The only children allowed at my wedding are my niece and nephew and I don't give a crap who cares. They are directly related to me, cousins...no. And seriously, get a life and have a fun night out with out your children.

    I think my friend said it best when she said "I'm not serving chicken fingers at my wedding!"
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

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    Holy Cow!  $40 for chicken fingers and fries?  Our kids meals offered the same food but were under $10 or $12 pp.  I might have been more of a stickler if I were paying $40 pp for kids' meals.  That's highway robbery. 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    lucy, I got a real laugh from your artful sarcasm.  Just been away from the computer awhile so just saw it. :D

    Pinkkittie and I agree, again.  The threat of their not being able to come if they can't bring their kids should just roll off your back.  So be it.  I'm not saying be cold and heartless (and I'm sure pk isn't, either); I was disapointed my SIL couldn't come because they had a one month old baby.  We sent her photos of the reception as it was happening.  I love her very much and would have loved to have seen her.  It was a family reunion, and we live all over the country.  But, being that as it may, oh, well.  What can ya do. 
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    If you don't want kids "in the first place" just avoid the whole issue and say "no kids."  Put your foot down and don't deal with it again.  You are in charge of the guest list.  Life will go on for every single guest, and unless you have raving lunatics, for real, to deal with you'll  never hear about it afterwards.  And, if you DO have raving lunactics in your family, well, they are a super big problem all the time over everything so what's one more issue.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    There will be people who will have a hissy fit over a "no kids" rule, but you just have to ignore them. Like Kar said, you're paying a lot of money for this once-a-life event, and you control the guest list. 

    Oh, if you haven't sent out invitations yet, don't put "adults only" or some translation of that on the invitations. I was nearly there, but the ladies here talked me down from that ledge. Tacky. Spread it by word-of-mouth. 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    Indeed, you can count on word of mouth and the fact that formal invitations always include everyone actually invited to the wedding by name.  If the kids' names or "and family" aren't there, most people would know they aren't invited.  There have been debates about whether invitations need inner envelopes or not, and one of the pros of them is that you get to reiterate the names of the people invited on the inner envelope which is ESPECIALLY helpful if you are excluding the kids.  Most people get that if the inner envelope says "Uncle Joe and Aunt Beth" that little Joe Jr. isn't invited. 
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdd01. Show jdd01's posts

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    I'm meeting with the woman hopefully doing our invitations this weekend so I'm sure she will be able to help us with the proper etiquette of excluding children.  It will not be listed on my invitation.


    This should pose for an interesting weekend with the family.  Weddings always bring out the best in people.

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    Tighten your seatbelt, but know the rough ride won't last much longer.  You'll be married and all the drama will be behind you before you know it. 
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

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    Cosmo - I respectfully accept.  I have been to restaurants where people allow their children scream and run around and I have no problem saying something to these rude people.  Runs in the family - my sister went off on this couple who let their kid run around a restaurant and he ran into the kitchen - she got a standing ovation from the other patrons.  Same with movie theaters - I once asked the staff to ask a couple to leave because their kid was running around the theater playing and talking to himself during a 10pm showing of No Country for Old Men - who brings their 3 year old to this movie in the first place?  Get a frigggin babysitter.  I am amazed at the stupidity/neglect of some people.

    I haven't been to a wedding where this happened, but I have only attended a few wedding that were not within my own family.  We are also outspoken enough to tell someone to step outside.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

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    Kar--I feel compelled to clarify again.  Obviously, the bride and groom CAN invite whomever they want.  I just thought it was rude to invite some kids but not others if there is no clear pattern to the exclusions.  (You and your husband had a clear pattern; I think that is fine.)  Babies are probably less disruptive than toddlers, and they don't even cost money (don't eat real food), so the age factor didn't seem that relevant to me.  I don't have kids, and my friends don't either yet, so maybe I'll change my mind later, but that's the way I see it.

    I think that the choice to not invite any kids is a totally legitimate one, so good luck weathering that storm jdd!  I would respect the wishes of any couple who chose that, but I wasn't kidding when I said it would have caused rioting in my and my husband's families!  I think both of our mothers would have a few choice words for us if we made that decision, not to mention the backlash from all the parents of those children.  Those dozen plates of spaghetti marinara really bought my husband and me a lot of familial harmony.  :p

    And, kar, it is entirely possible to have a formal event with children in attendance.  The backyard BBQ comparison is unnecessary.  I also had a very formal wedding, in a venue that was really filled with expensive delicate things--from the gold Faberge chargers at each setting to the museum art on the walls.  Well-raised kids can be convinced to behave or their parents will escort them out.  We had a dozen kids there under the age of 12, and it really caused no issues.  The kids were respectful.  The 2-year old was the only one who fussed during the ceremony, and she was removed well before we even processed; I didn't hear her at all.  The kids danced their hearts out during the reception and generally  had a great time.  The little boys were taken down to the basement or outdoors once or twice they got too active for the reception hall, and they rejoined after they had run off some of their energy away from the other guests.  All the kids were children of out of town guests.  I am thankful that the families were able to come.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    No offense meant by the BBQ reference.  Kids were at our wedding and didn't ruin it, but screaming unruly kids do exist (they have to be part of someone's family) and WOULD ruin any semblance of very high priced ambiance.

    My only point was that the guest list should be a guilt free zone.  "Unavoidable" means the choice is non-existant in some cases, and I don't believe that.  If you decide to have kids for WHATEVER reason, that's a valid choice.  So is deciding against having kids there whatever the circumstances.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Txgrl82. Show Txgrl82's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    I just read through this post quickly, so if anyone else already mentioned this, sorry...But what about that poor baby's ears?? The music is sure to be too loud for him/her!

    For WIW, I have a 6 month old. I have been to dinner with her a total of 3 times. We make sure she's fed and asleep, otherwise it's a no-go or we get a sitter. I would NEVER think of taking her to any restaurant that wasn't family-oriented, or to any other event that is adult-only. 

    A baby doesn't care where you are. They do things their way and we just have to deal. Once said cousin see this, she might change her tune...

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    dkb- that's unbelievable! at the movie theatres I worked at, we had a strict plicy that children under 5 were never allowed into an R-rated movie, even if accompanied by their parents.
    Believe it or not, this policy was adopted in the 80's when many parents saw no problem bringing their toddlers to Terminator II: Judgement Day

    you cannot imagine the number of people I had to turn away who wanted to bring their 3yr olds to movies like Chainsaw Massacre and Jeepers Creepers.

    I'm not sure if it's law like the one about how you can't buy a ticket to an R-rated movie for a kid under 17 and then leave, but that might be worth checking into. The fines on the theatre and the employee that sold the ticket can be pretty hefty.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

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    Pink - I asked the staff member that, thinking that the under 17 thing would come into play, but he said as far as babies and toddlers were concerned, they couldn't turn them away, but they could ask them to leave if other patrons complained.  This was in Revere, so I don't know.  I remember being carded at the Bellingham theater when I was 22 and with my mom! 

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from that-guy. Show that-guy's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Terminator 2 was made in 1991, not the 80's.  That was 19 years ago.  You worked in a movie theater when you were 8 years old?
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    dkb- I worked at theatres in Sharon, Taunton and Acton. We were told the policy "no <5 in an R-rated movie" had existed since T2, and we strictly enforced it. It might have just been the chain I worked for which was Hoyts, now Regal.
    A few years after I started working in that industry a new provision was passed that the person purchasing tickets for anyone under 17 had to be over 21 and had to stay with the minor for the duration of the film. We were told to card anyone who looked under 25. I think the fine for selling the ticket alone was like $2k, then the theatre got an additional fine. So, we always carded.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    My first R rated movie was the Amityville Horror - when I was 8.  We went to the drive in for a double feature (first movie was age appropriate).  When the Amityville Horror came on, my parents told us to "go to sleep" in the back of the station wagon.  Geeze- I still have nightmares about that move!  lol.  What the heck were they thinking???
     

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