Babies at weddings

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Actually, Pink, there is a difference. The people on the message board are opening themselves to comments by posting.  People w/ kids who happen to be out in public are not necessarily opening themselves to opinions from the general public about their child rearing skills or lack thereof.  I can see that_guy's point.

    However, when you go beyond general fussing, to an inhuman wail that goes on unendingly for over a normal amount of time and the parents make NO move or a halfassed move to quiet the child, then I think an intervention is appropriate.  It may be simply getting someone from management to ask if they are alright/need assistance, or asking them to quiet down or leave.  When something like what Kar described goes on for more than 20-30 mintues and the parents do NOTHING, something is clearly up. It could possible signal child abuse b/c no one lets their kids wail at the top of their lungs in public for that long w/o doing something - even if that something is leaving to go sit in the car where the kid continues to wail. 

    There's Johnny having a bad day and pitching a fit in Target.  Then, there's Johnny w/ a problem who is being ignored/neglected by parents. This is not the child's fault; it's the parents. If they don't want to step up and actually parent, okay fine.  But then take the kid elsewhere so that the rest of us don't have to listen to him go on and on and on for 20, 30, 40 or more minutes. 

    Personally, Kar, I'd have spoken to management and insisted that THEY do something.  I don't know that I'd go up to someone and tell them to get their kid checked out.  I'm not one to mince words, but I'd still stick management w/ the task. :-) 

    ETA: There is nothing wrong w/ Chili's either. Sometimes you just want a quick bowl of chili for lunch. Their's is pretty darn good. :-) 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    One could argue that you open yourself up to comments anytime you step into a public area. I know I've received comments from strangers in public areas.
    I just can't imagine a situation where someone would have a kid causing a scene in a public place and no one would bat an eye. These parents cannot possibly be surprised when someone says something about their screaming child unless they are in total denial.
    Moreso, what about the restaurant manager or movie theatre usher? They have a duty to say something to a parent who's child is causing a scene. And no one is telling the parent how to parent, they're telling the parent that the child is disturbing them. They're not telling the parent how to quiet the child, merely asking the parent to try and quiet it.
    No one's saying "Hey, you know what I think would stop your kid from crying?", people say "Excuse me, but if you cannot quiet your child, could you bring them outside? It's extremely disturbing to everyone."
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ash. Show ash's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Sadly, that guy, your incessant ramblings obscure the fact that you sometimes have a valid point.  What the heck to religious people have to do with children in public?

    I have to agree with ALF that if something is bothering you in a restaurant approaching the management is probably the best route.  Its not that I don't think certain things can't be addressed with the perpetrator of the infraction, but politeness is always the name of the game and sometimes that's hard.  I don't blame Kar for approaching those parents, but I'm not sure it achieved what she intended it to.  I meant what I said about that kid having neurological problems.  Some of those kids have the most awful screeching cries.  The parents may literally not hear it because they are so used to it.  But even if he is simply a misbehaved cretin and they are the world's most inattentive parents, if you are going to say something, make it count.  "Your child is screaming so loud that we can't hear each other speak.  Would you please quiet him down?" says something meaningful and is polite.

    I will say that you do look at things differently before you have children and after.  You really do.  It doesn't always change how you thought you might deal with things, and becoming a mother doesn't automatically make you a person who thinks your child is the actual center of the universe, but you do look at things differently.  And again, I say this as a person who is fully engaged in the world of children and as a mother who thinks my kids do, and are capable of, plenty of wrongdoings.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Wow.  I just want to say that I am very sorry that I was in court all day yesterday and missed this fun.  :)

    Kar, my niece used to freaking scream and wail like a banshee constantly (she is, quite honestly, most likely the reason I developed an allergy to children).  Loud, hysterical, gut-wrenchingly awful sobs.  She was born deaf in both ears.  My sister, however, was convinced that her little angel was perfect and refused to do anything about it.  She wouldn't take her to the doctor, despite the fact that we all told her, repeatedly, that there was a problem with a four year old that hadn't even begun attempting to talk.  Sadly, those parents probably didn't listen to you, but I don't blame you for saying something.

    Also, this morning on the T, I seriously considered asking the people next to me to take their conversation elsewhere because it was so loud I couldn't hear my ipod and it was irritating me.  Cool
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from nantucket4life. Show nantucket4life's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    tricky issue! people do need to plan on hiring a sitter for their children when they need to go out or go away for a weekend. most people have family members or closer friends to do this. nobody should feel entitled to bring their children especially when they are not invited.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from that-guy. Show that-guy's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Aww, pinkkiddie, you really hurt my feelings.  Maybe I'll go away now, since you've proven how mature and unaffected you are by my comments.  Saying things like "little troll" really don't do much here either. 

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    I know you won't go away, little troll. You wouldn't be a troll if you did.
    The only joy you derive from life is giving people a hard time on these message boards. How could I possibly expect you to abandon your life's only joy? Such a meaningful and constructive activity, I might add. What a joyful and fulfilling life you must live to have taken to trolling and flaming as a hobby (if you even have a job, or is trolling your life's work?). You clearly are a person of great depth and intelligence, sitting on your computer harassing people you don't know for the fun of it. Lord knows that's the pastime of all intelligent and mature people.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ihavemyhats. Show Ihavemyhats's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Sorry to get back on topic here, but most churches have nurseries, play rooms,  or sound proof rooms.  I know that my family has at least once found a babysitter who will stay with the kids in the nursery during the service.  If people bring their babies into the church, and they fuss, someone can be deputed to ask them to take the child to the designated place.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from that-guy. Show that-guy's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Wow! Pink, and what is it that you're doing towards me?  Hurling insults (little troll), harassing someone you don't know (joyful and fulfilling life).  Really - see this for what it is.  Everyone has the right to come here and put up their opinions.  Do you really derive that much of your self-esteem based on your place here?
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    90% of what I do on these message boards is respond to threads in a helpful and constructive manner, trying to help the OP with their question. The other 10% is idle chat and giving little trolls like you a taste of their own medicine, which I see you don't like very much.
    Logging on here to chat with people about their pets and weddings is just something I do to pass the time when it's too nasty outside to do much else.

    If you ever had anything nice or constructive to say to anyone anywhere on these boards, you wouldn't be a troll. But, you are. You only comment when you have something nasty or derogatory to say. You literally troll the message boards looking for an opportunity to be nasty and sarcastic. You are the very definition of a troll. You contribute nothing constructive, you come here only to flame, insult and sneer. All because you have no better use for your time or energy than to spew nastiness on Boston.com. It's sad.
    Kick, scream and wail away, little troll. I know how badly you need the attention. Poor little baby troll.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    lucy, your story confirms in my mind that that child was deaf.  There's nothing like the screams of a deaf child, apparently.

    I'm not sure my suggesting they get her hearing tested worked, either, but I also don't expect management would have suggested that, but instead would have simply asked them to leave.  If I were those parents, I'd be mad at first, but then, in the stillness of the middle of the night I might wonder if that crazy woman in the restaurant who had the cajones to say something could possibly be right.  Maybe they did take the kid to get tested.  I hope so.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    My sister didn't take my niece to get tested until it was time to enroll her in school, and the school said, "You know, it's concerning that she doesn't know how to talk yet.... or even try."

    She spent four year saying things like, "She'll talk when she's ready."

    Ok.  We believe that as much as we believe that you're supposed to be 80lbs overweight because you "just" had a baby... Wink
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    That's really too bad; your niece really suffered a long time for nothing.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Honestly, Kar, I'm not sure I would categorize not being able to hear my sister and brother-in-law when they speak as "suffering."  Sealed

    She was born with a lot of problems.  Poor kid.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Now I feel even worse for the kid. :(
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from wendy98. Show wendy98's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Lucy that is so sad, my sister thought her daughter was deaf early on, because she really didn't cry nor did loud sounds seem to affect her, there were no signs of widening eyes or moving her head to look in the direction of the noise.  She took her in to the doctor right away, and the doctor said oh she can hear just fine, she just is really content.

    My sister didn't quite believe that to be true so she waited a bit just a few weeks and went for a second opinon the second doctor said the same thing, and probably 2-3 months after that she found her voice, and hasn't stopped since.

    It is just sad that a parent wouldn't take their child in for care if they had any concern. 
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    wendy- what a sweet story! I like the thought of baby so content that it doesn't cry. your sister must be the best mom ever.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Woah, I missed a good one while i was away!

    I think that-guy simply confirms many of the earlier posts about inconsiderate parents thinking it's perfectly fine to keep a screaming child in a restaurant or similar place.  He seems to be one of them.

    Regarding jdd's situation, she can invite whoever she wants.  We allowed some kids but not others.  what you CAN'T control is who actually shows up at your wedding. :)
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from that-guy. Show that-guy's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Poppy - no, you're wrong.  I'm not one of them.  I don't keep my kids in a public place if they're screaming.  But - I also don't tolerate people sticking their noses in my business.  That was my point.

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    If I can't hear my conversation over your child's screaming, that's my business you're interfering with.  I don't suppose you'd like to pay my hourly rate to compensate me? 
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from that-guy. Show that-guy's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Obviously this is going to start back up again.  OK I'll bite.

    What business are you conducting in a Chili's that you need to be compensated an hourly rate for? 

    Are you a waitress?  If so, unfortunately you have to be able to deal with things like this.  As I've said all along, the world is full of idiots. Idiots go out to Chili's.  They also go to the 99, Applebee's, the Outback, and every other ridiculous chain restaurant to stuff their fat faces with ribs & onion rings.  That will never change.

    Really, I can't think of a single connection between a kid's screaming in a restaurant, and its parents' needing to comp you for that.  Or are you one of those self-absorbed people who run around claiming damages for everything and thinks that they're entitled to compensation for every minor inconvenience in life?

    And, in case you haven't picked up on this any of the half dozen times I've said it -
    I DON'T LET MY KIDS STAY IN A PUBLIC PLACE WHEN THEY'RE SCREAMING LIKE THAT.  So why point this at me as if it's my fu_(king kid that's screaming while you shove french fries into your mouth?
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Why do you keep going back to Chili's?  One person mentioned Chili's and out of all of the places the rest of us mentioned, you're stuck on Chili's.  For someone who hates it so much, you sure love to talk about it.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Oh, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize that the screaming babies of the world were confined to Chili's.  In that case, I shall simply avoid Chili's forevermore (and all the other chain restaurants).  I didn't realize that babies were excluded from nicer (or less nice, but individually-owned) restaurants.  Thank you for the tip.

    In answer to your question, obviously, I am hooking at Chili's.  I certainly am not engaged in any sort of occupation where one might go on a business lunch, for which the client would pay and, probably, be allowed to choose the restaurant.

    ETA:  My point was, when a child's screaming is so loud that it is ruining every one else's meal, it is no longer only the parents' business.  I use "you" to mean the child-bearing world at large, not you specifically. 
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from that-guy. Show that-guy's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    OK, substitute any restaurant name in there, then. 
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from that-guy. Show that-guy's posts

    Re: Babies at weddings

    Hmm, restaurant escort.  I thought so.
     

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