Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from ilovebeagles. Show ilovebeagles's posts

    Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    Hi all,

    Question!
    We got invited to a wedding, invite said black tie optional. We went to a party this weekend, rumor circulated that the bride really wanted black tie but her mom said it was rude to make people rent tuxes and stay for a weekend(yay mom!)

    Anyways, black tie, for women, means a long gown. Is this right?
    I dont have a gown, and dont really want to buy one, as seriously when will I wear it again. I have plenty of very nice, and IMO formal shorter dresses. I am 5'1, we short people dont do gowns unless absolutely necessary as they make us look shorter and usually involve a lot of tailoring.

    However, I also really dont want to be out of place, so I will buy one if necessary.

    Opinions on what I should do?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    If it were me, I would ask my friends what they would be wearing. 

    Strictly speaking, floor length is correct, but if you have a cocktail dress, it is likely appropriate.
     
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    Wikipedia assures me that "black tie" means "semi-formal."  I would think you could get away with a shorter cocktail dress, depending on the venue and time of the event.

    No reason to spend $200 on a dress you'll wear once.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ilovebeagles. Show ilovebeagles's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    It's DHs friends, and I did ask.
    and they are wearing long dresses, but and I mean this as nicely as possible, I dress much fancier/age appropriate/older than they do anyways. I am a professional woman who wears suits and business clothes to work, and pretty preppy in my downtime as well. His girlfriends, really his friend's girlfriends, still wear cargo capris and tanks even to bridal showers. I always wear a dress.

    So, I took their opinions with a grain of salt.

    Hence, why I am asking you guys! lol
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    I wore a long gown to a black tie optional event.  About 1/2 of the women were in long gowns, others in short but VERY dressy ones. 

    I spent $30 at a consignment shop, and I'm betting someone paid at least $300 for it before me. :)
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    Hi Beagles!  Black tie does in fact mean floor length gowns.  However, if it's black tie optional, then I think wearing a dressy, cocktail length dress that you already own is perfectly fine.  I am guessing that as long as you match the tone that the bride is looking for [evening wedding w/ people very well dressed] that you will be perfectly fine. It sounds like that you already own will work perfectly.  Good luck!!   
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    I think the dress you already have is fine.  My wedding was BTO and most women under 35 wore short, dressy cocktail dresses.  Most women over 35 wore long (ankle or floor length) dressses.  Either way was fine.

    At non-wedding black tie formal events I have attended in the past few years, I have noted increasing numbers of women in shorter formal dresses. 

    Indeed, I have only been to one event where a short formal dress would have felt underdressed.  It was a black-tie wedding and the bride's middle eastern community was a very formal bunch.  ALL of the men were in tuxes, ALL of the women (young and old) were in floor length gowns.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    In Response to Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required:
    [QUOTE]It's DHs friends, and I did ask. and they are wearing long dresses, but and I mean this as nicely as possible, I dress much fancier/age appropriate/older than they do anyways. I am a professional woman who wears suits and business clothes to work, and pretty preppy in my downtime as well. His girlfriends, really his friend's girlfriends, still wear cargo capris and tanks even to bridal showers. I always wear a dress. So, I took their opinions with a grain of salt. Hence, why I am asking you guys! lol
    Posted by ilovebeagles[/QUOTE]

    lol!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    It does mean long, but if you don't want to go for full length, go for below the knee or longer.
    I'd go with a mid-calf length, personally.

    And I agree with AB that asking your friends might be worthwhile. If they're all wearing cocktail dresses, then you won't look under-dressed if you do as well.

    *ETA saw that you did ask friends already. I'd say just go for below-the-knee when in doubt. You could also check Second Time Around or The Closet if you're in Boston, you might find a long dress already hemmed to what you need.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    I just want to second Pink's suggestion for Second Time Around.  That place totally rocks! ;-)
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ilovebeagles. Show ilovebeagles's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    I am definitely going to look at a consignment shop! thats a great idea

    and Pink, Tea length is HORRIBLE on me! Short people really cant do tea length! Otherwise, it would be a great option. My sister has a long black dress, she is about 4 inches taller than I am. I know she would let me hem it with a loose thread, but then what if it comes down during the wedding. So, I dont know.


    My friend has a beautiful blue silk embroidered dress, just below the knee, very fancy but still shorter.

    We are the same dress size and shoe size - its fantastic. I might have to borrow it
    Thanks for your advice! At least I know the short dress is an option still!

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    I think that as long as it's below the knee, you're safe. You just don't want to be flashing any thigh at a BTO event.

    In Response to Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required:
    [QUOTE]I am definitely going to look at a consignment shop! thats a great idea and Pink, Tea length is HORRIBLE on me! Short people really cant do tea length! Otherwise, it would be a great option. My sister has a long black dress, she is about 4 inches taller than I am. I know she would let me hem it with a loose thread, but then what if it comes down during the wedding. So, I dont know. My friend has a beautiful blue silk embroidered dress, just below the knee, very fancy but still shorter. We are the same dress size and shoe size - its fantastic. I might have to borrow it Thanks for your advice! At least I know the short dress is an option still!
    Posted by ilovebeagles[/QUOTE]
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from easydoesit2. Show easydoesit2's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    You said "We" were invited...What is your other half wearing? I would think your  interest would include looking like you came together.  You also wouldn't want to be the only short dress, or gown, at the table or group you're with.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from ilovebeagles. Show ilovebeagles's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    Other half is wearing a black suit

    So Pink -you think this dress is out?
    lol

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    Optional means optional.  Some will wear long gowns, others will choose not to.  There are so few opportunities to get THAT dressed up that I take them if I can find a good deal on a floor length dress, but that's just me.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    I'd freeze my but off in that dress!  And I think  bringing a sweater or shawl would just ruin the look......
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    LOL

    Not at all, I think you'll be the star of the reception in that one ;)

    In Response to Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required:
    [QUOTE]Other half is wearing a black suit So Pink -you think this dress is out? lol
    Posted by ilovebeagles[/QUOTE]
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    In Response to Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required:
    [QUOTE]I'd freeze my but off in that dress!  And I think  bringing a sweater or shawl would just ruin the look......
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    Uh, I think you'd freeze more than your but*!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    I think a dressy cocktail will be fine - there is sure to be others who feel exactly the same way as you and won't want to be spending more $$ than they have to, for a new dress that they will never wear again.  Where the one you have (or borrow your friends), be comfortable and have a fabulous time!

    Remember - unless you arrive in something ridiculous (see, dress above) or come totally underdressed in shorts and a tee, no one will even be looking at you anyway to notice what you are/aren't wearing).
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from helphelpImbeingrepressed. Show helphelpImbeingrepressed's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now we see why "black tie optional" is the most insipid phrase a person could add to their invite.

    Newsflash: telling people an optional dress code is NOT HELPFUL.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    beagles, I agree that tea-length on us shorties = wicked frumpy.

    Hey, I don't even wear capris because they just look like pants that are a teensy bit too short! 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    I'm 5'3 1/2" and I don't wear capris, either!  I think they only look really good on very tall girls with slender figures.

    I did, however, if I do say so, looked fabulous in my long, slim, form-draping gown with 3 inch heals for my brother's wedding. And, not that you need another vote for Second Time Around, but I've also been there, and all they carry is high end designer stuff at GREAT prices.  No yard sale type worn out ugly rags.  Some of their stuff actually has the security wire through the racks...the fur coats, for instance.  This week is a great weather week to take a walk down Newbury St., too!!!

    Let us know what you get, beags!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    I went to a black tie optional wedding a couple of years ago.  I did get a full length dress/gown.  I am only 4'11", so tea length was definitely out for me! 

    If anyone wants it, they can have it, it's been sitting in my closet ever since, lol.

    As for what others were wearing, many of the women wore cocktail dresses and the guys wore suits.  No one look out of place.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    Cosmo, in my entire life, I have found exactly one pair of capris that I can actually wear.  I can feel your pain.  Tea-length is out, capris are out, and I can only sporadically wear 3/4 length sleeves.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Black tie option, bride really wanted black tie required

    My memere is petite and all she ever wears are capris. She's 5'0".
    We were once shopping and she was admiring a long skirt and my mother said "Aren't you worried that will make you look short?" my memere said "I AM short and it's not like a skirt is going to fool anyone once they stand next to me."
     
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