Bridal shower dilemma

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from SAW73. Show SAW73's posts

    Bridal shower dilemma

    My BIL is getting married this summer and I just received a shower invitation, which requests bows only NO wrapping. 

    This is the first time I have ever seen this and I’m put off my it.  For background, I am 10yrs older than my BIL and his fiancée.  I’m not fond of my BIL fiancée, I don’t particularly like the person he is when she’s around.  And to be honest, she drives me more than a little nuts!  I really like the wrapping aspect of gift giving and normally go all out with paper and ribbon.
     

    Is it common to ask guests not to wrap shower gifts?  Or I am irritated because of who the shower is for? 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    I've never heard of it, but if they are opening the gifts at the shower everyone will see your gift anyway so I don't see a "logical" reason to be upset.  In fact, it will cut down on the time it takes to do gifts, which, objectively speaking, most people would appreciate.  I know I hate sitting there while they unwrap, make a big mess, and have the MOH working feverishly to contain it.

    That's not to dismiss your irritation as "wrong" - I think you just are against the wedding and, therefore, anything about it will tick you off, like you guessed.  I think you answered your own question quite well. :)
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rirlo01. Show Rirlo01's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    Hi, SAW.  I think Kar hit the nail on the head, and your second question is spot on: you're irritated with the bride-to-be and all thing related.  To answer your other question, though, no, I don't think it's common to ask for no gift wrap.  This strategy has its pros, as does wrapping, and everyone's entitled to opinions and preferences.  This is a safe place for venting if you feel the need.  :) 

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    No wrapping is becoming more and more common - think green people!

    If you find the entire situation so irritating, then just send your apologies.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from SAW73. Show SAW73's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    Kargiver and Rirlo, thank you for your comments.

    Prill, I care for my BIL very much and I would not embarress him by not attending.  I will follow the directions on the invitation.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    I do think it's getting more common to ask for no wrapping, though it's not usually asked in a very straightfoward way. And I disregard it completely because I'm one of those people who enjoys wrapping the gift more than any other part of the process.

    For my cousin's shower, the no-wrapping message was printed on the bottom of the print-out from the registry (Macy's), which was ironic given that the slip with the registry items was at least 5 feet long (no joke!) and wasted plenty of paper.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    It's hard to see the people you love make decisions that you truly believe will be detrimental to their well being.  I get it - you are more than irritated.  But, you are handling it with love, grace, and class, and that's the best anyone can do.  Maybe they will overcome their obstacles and forge a good marriage; you never know.  And, regardless of how it turns out, you'll have contributed positively to the situation by treating them with the utmost respect in spite of your personal misgivings.

    ETA:  RFBF, that's really funny about the 5 ft long registry printout with "no wrapping" on the bottom!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dani273. Show Dani273's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    I agree with the above posters. Just keep a stiff upper lip and go...it will show your support of your BIL. I have gone to plenty of weddings and bridal showers in my lifetime for people that I just did not care for, but you do it because of the family ties or friendships that you have with the other person that makes up the couple.
    Rirlo01 is right...this is a safe and nice place to vent.  I have done it here myself quite a bit.  I hope that things will get easier for you heading towards the wedding.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from 1stTimeMom90709. Show 1stTimeMom90709's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    I'm from another part of the country where no gift wrapping at bridal showers is very common.  They are referred to as display showers.  There are actually companies that will come in the day of the shower and set up the gifts on tables as they arrive with labels so you know who they are from.  This way people can walk around at their leisure at the shower to look at everything and can still see who gave what.  It eliminates the sometimes never ending present opening.  I definitely can see both sides when it comes to having a display vs traditional showers but they are definitely not unheard of but I do not think they are common in MA.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from 1stTimeMom90709. Show 1stTimeMom90709's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    Also, it is typically noted on the invitation that it is a display shower - no wrappings please.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from SAW73. Show SAW73's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    Thanks again ladies!

    You're giving me too much credit, but I will behave myself and not say anything if I have nothing noce to say at the shower and wedding.  If it were someone else, I think I would be asking if it still be ok to wrap the gift. I agree with RedFish, I enjoy the wrapping part the best!  But I will go with the flow and not wrap.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    Huh, I've never heard of that and I think I'd find it odd too.  And be a little put off by it.  I also love wrapping presents and part of my enjoyment with giving presents is the surprise element of it.  I like to watch while the bride opens my present and says "oooh, a crockpot!  Thank you, Trex!".  I wouldn't like it personally.

    I guess I get the green aspect of it, but as a guest, who wants to stare at a pile of unwrapped gifts?  And if they aren't wrapped, is there even a "gift opening" part of the shower where the bride acknowledges your gift?  Or do you just throw it on the pile like an admission ticket and hope for a thank you note later?

    i went to a shower where the bride was from out of town, so the MOH asked all gifts to be mailed to her.  So at the party, she never acknowledged the gifts.  I found it pretty rude.  Especially since i know she pushed for a shower because she really wanted the gifts and didn't want to "miss out" just because she lived far away.


     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    I just remembered another shower I went to. I missed the memo (not on purpose that time, I swear), but several guests "wrapped" their gifts in dishtowels, which were also part of the gift.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    Why not split the difference and use a gift bag?  If she wants to be 'green', this is green.  My family has been using the same bags for Christmas for a number of years.  If it's to 'display' her haul, it's easy to take it out of the bag and put it on display.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    I have a couple of thoughts on this.  Either they're "thinking green" and not wanting the wrapping winding up in a landfill, or its a "display shower". 

    I am a major lover of gift bags.  i think they make life easy and can be easily reused...i also find myself using reusable totes to wrap gifts..
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from venforknot. Show venforknot's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    I've never heard of a display shower but I kind of like it. It's not that I wouldn't acknowledge all the gift givers, it would just save so much time when you have a large wedding and a large bridal shower to go along with it. My cousin had 285 people at her wedding. Her shower had 115. That was 115 gifts we had to sit there and watch her unwrap. It was TORTURE having to oooh and aaaah at every dishtowel and apron. I might actually suggest this to my MOH since my bridal shower is likely to be fairly large as well. That way I'd have more time to go to every person and thank them for their time in person and for their gift and for coming to the shower and less time having bows stuck all over me. and of course send out written thank yous as well.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    Ven, are you saying that you wouldn't write out a thank you note because you thanked them in person?  I still think you would send out a written note.  What if someone was in the ladies room or you missed people?
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    Oh, goodness, I hope thank you notes will go out regardless of thanking people at the shower/wedding/formal gift-giving event of any sort.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    I think we've covered this before on this board, a while back...
    I've never been asked to do this, but I guess the way I look at any sort of invitation is, if I want to attend the event I'll do what the inviter asks me to do. 

    Like the others, I think your irritation probably mostly comes from the fact you don't like her!  It's such a bummer to dislike someone a close family member chooses as their partner... The good news about the no-wrapping is that the shower will be over MUCH quicker!!
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    In Response to Re: Bridal shower dilemma:
    I just remembered another shower I went to. I missed the memo (not on purpose that time, I swear), but several guests "wrapped" their gifts in dishtowels, which were also part of the gift.
    Posted by RedFishBlueFish


    In that vein, you could wrap your gift in tinfoil and include the rest of the box as one of your presents.  Or saran wrap.  Kiss
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from venforknot. Show venforknot's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    OF COURSE I WOULD SEND THANK YOU NOTES!!! I even said that right in the post. "and of course send out written thank you notes as well." Read people, read.

    I'm cranky today :-)
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    Good to know you're gracious.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from paul0. Show paul0's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    how is there an element of surprise if the bride has hand picked everything she wants (by creating a registry)?



     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    It's an elaborate game of pretend, but it's still fun. :)
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Re: Bridal shower dilemma

    maybe its me, but i enjoy the unwrapping of gifts..
     
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