Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    Yes, the mothers should be informed of the BM's colors so they don't inadvertantly CLASH.

    And, the mothers should be in touch so they their dress colors and styles look good next to each other, too.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    Honestly, I think this is a big deal about nothing. When you go to a wedding, do you ever notice the style and color of the MOG/MOB dresses? When you look at wedding pictures, do you ever go 'omg, everyone is wearing black, how depressing' or 'omg, the bms are in orange, and the mog is in green and mob is in brown'. most of us dont notice and we dont notice because it doesnt matter. Generally, we tend to notice if people look nice, not whether the colors could have matched better.

    I also have dark brown hair and fair skin and I love wearing brown!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party : No, I didn't suggest they match the bridesmaids, just coordinate , which I think is perfectly reasonable.  Why would they want to wear colors that didn't match at all with the wedding?  When they asked, I said wear anything you want that goes with clover green - green, blue, purple, pink, champagne, gold, silver, etc.
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    ok - here is what you said which is why I asked, "It doesn't hurt and my mothers did match because they both matched the bridesmaids HOWEVER my mother and MIL are in a grand total of one photo together, so it really doesn't matter."

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    Honestly, I think this is a big deal about nothing. When you go to a wedding, do you ever notice the style and color of the MOG/MOB dresses? Posted by Missy509


    Perhaps, but don't tell the Mother of the Bride that!!!!  lol
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    My mom would be crushed to think no one noticed her choice of dresses.  She labored over the decision and lost 15 - 20 lbs to wear it!

    I think it's one of those things that you really don't particularly notice if it's nice.  If it clashes, though, you notice.  And, if one mother is wearing a cocktail length dress and the other is in a floor length, it would probably make them both feel uncomfortable about their choice.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    Missy has a good point. I think it has to clash really heinously in order for it to look bad. Not just color, but style and fabric too. It would really have to look like the person had wandered in off the street. Otherwise, I really won't notice that when looking at pictures.
    I'm more likely to notice what looks good than what looks bed, especially when someone is showing me wedding photos.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    Ooh, I also love wearing brown (I have brown hair, hazel eyes, and my skin is so pale it's practically translucent). My BMs wore chocolate dresses and I thought they looked great in them. Black is one color I try not to wear; it makes me look rather goth.

    MIL was trying to explain how MOB/MOG dresses work--that my mom should pick her dress first, etc--and I just wasn't getting it, lol. So you wear the same color/don't wear the same color? What? MIL asked me what colors she should look at for dresses and I said..."I don't know, what colors do you like?"
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    My mother bought, no joke, 10 dresses for my brother's wedding before finally picking one. I think it is important for them to feel beautiful on that day. Their child is getting married, that is a big deal!!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    Your MIL is obviously a well mannered woman.  :)
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    Your MIL is obviously a well mannered woman.  :)
    Posted by downtoearth


    Yup, I think she had DH and SIL writing thank-you notes when they were in diapers. Laughing
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    Unless your mom has a freaky style.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    now that is simply ... puzzling.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

          Posts that show brides who think of other people as set dressing for their wedding  day and photographs,  rather than people they love as family and friends, always disturb me.


         
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    I have a question....since when did the photographer take a photo of the MOB, MOG, and BM's together?! I have never seen one. So who cares what the MOB or MOG wear....
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party : ok - here is what you said which is why I asked, " It doesn't hurt and my mothers did match because they both matched the bridesmaids HOWEVER my mother and MIL are in a grand total of one photo together, so it really doesn't matter."
    Posted by downtoearth


    But I didn't say I forced them to match!  Just that they both matched the bridesmaids.  Anyway, I get it - misunderstanding.  I just hope you would know from my posts that I was no bridezilla.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    "I have a question....since when did the photographer take a photo of the MOB, MOG, and BM's together?! I have never seen one. So who cares what the MOB or MOG wear.."

    We had a smaller wedding party (2 attendants on each side) and we did an 'entire wedding party' portrait - that is, bride/groom, my parents, his mother, my 2 attendants and flower girl, his 2 attendants.  But I don't think a wedding with 4 or 5 attendants on each side would do that....  but I did want everyone together since I could.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    [QUOTE]I have a question....since when did the photographer take a photo of the MOB, MOG, and BM's together?! I have never seen one. So who cares what the MOB or MOG wear....
    Posted by lizinboston[/QUOTE]

    They do! 
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party : But I didn't say I forced them to match!  Just that they both matched the bridesmaids.  Anyway, I get it - misunderstanding.  I just hope you would know from my posts that I was no bridezilla.
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    Of course I know!! I was really wanting to understand.

    I'm asking  a real question here because it is a real life situation.  This bride is one of the nicest people I've ever met and before this, I thought quite "down to earth."  So I wanted to know how unusual it was for her to dictate her Mother's color dress so specifically.  I'm getting the picture.  She's caught Bride-itis.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party : They do! 
    Posted by downtoearth[/QUOTE]

    Liz, AB's response is correct in every sense.  The tradition of the mothers discussing their wedding attire with each other goes way back for a reason.  The mothers want to make sure, if they are gracious according to etiquette, that they do not show each other up fashion-wise or clash when they stand next to each other regardless of whether their photo is being taken together.  And, aside from that, formals are not the only pictures taken at a wedding. 

    Wag's comment about thinking of people as photo props IS disturbing.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    Wait, what? I know the mothers discuss! All I am saying is that the bride should let the mother have her shining moment, as well. It is their day in a way, too. I mean, their children are getting married. The people they raised are getting married, that is a big deal. Also, they are entertaining their friends and family, they have every right to feel beautiful and look gorgeous in a gown that they feel comfortable in and a color that looks good on them.

    And Fram gave her mothers' like 10 colors to choose from, if they couldn't find one of those colors to work, than I think it was the mothers' who had the issue!
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    [QUOTE]Wait, what? I know the mothers discuss! All I am saying is that the bride should let the mother have her shining moment, as well. It is their day in a way, too. I mean, their children are getting married. The people they raised are getting married, that is a big deal. Also, they are entertaining their friends and family, they have every right to feel beautiful and look gorgeous in a gown that they feel comfortable in and a color that looks good on them. And Fram gave her mothers' like 10 colors to choose from, if they couldn't find one of those colors to work, than I think it was the mothers' who had the issue!
    Posted by lizinboston[/QUOTE]

    I thought you meant that not even they should care because they probably won't be in a photo together!  Writing can be so misleading sometimes. :)
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    Kar, it's ok! My mother is the most important person to me. She is going to look STUNNING on my wedding day!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from wendy98. Show wendy98's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    [QUOTE]      Posts that show brides who think of other people as set dressing for their wedding  day and photographs,  rather than people they love as family and friends, always disturb me.      
    Posted by whatawagSBNy[/QUOTE]
    I find them sad and somewhat amusing.  But if you find them disturbing why bother to read the thread?  The title pretty much summed the content up, so why subject yourself to something you know would be disturbing? 
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party : Of course I know!! I was really wanting to understand. I'm asking  a real question here because it is a real life situation.  This bride is one of the nicest people I've ever met and before this, I thought quite "down to earth."  So I wanted to know how unusual it was for her to dictate her Mother's color dress so specifically.  I'm getting the picture.  She's caught Bride-itis.
    Posted by downtoearth[/QUOTE]

    This whole post just reminds me of how easy it is for a bride to get all caught up and tangled in the wedding "have-tos" that she is no doubt hearing from all angles.  It can be easy to lose sight of the fact that you can do things however you want at your wedding!  But brides (if they are anything like me and most women I know who are married or engaged) tend to read every wedding-related thing they can get their hands on - magazines, websites, books - and they ALL come with LISTS and LISTS of rules, musts, and don'ts!!  Makes your head spin.

    Maybe this bride somewhere along the way was brainwashed that there is a rule about MOB and MOG dresses that she does not want to risk breaking!   It can all come from a place of good intention and doesn't necessarily reflect on her as a person.  Unfortunately, we all know where good intentions can lead us sometimes.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Controversial Subject - as requested - dressing the extended wedding party

    I agree with waggie, and I think most of the brides on these boards are not this way at all.  Haven't heard of any "mandatory updos" in quite a while!  Thank heavens! 
     

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