Could use some advice

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Neena101511. Show Neena101511's posts

    Could use some advice

         Hi, I'm new here. Ive looked at the site a lot at work but have never actually signed up to post. But you all seem to be very insightful and I'm hoping you'll be able to help me. 
        My fiance and I have been planning to get married in October 2011. We've been engaged for 2 years already but because of an unexpected deployment we post poned our wedding...again. This past weekend we decided that we want to get married at city hall in the next few weeks, just our parents and siblings. We still want to have our schedualed wedding ceremony with all of our extended family and friends (my family is a little more on the traditional side) and have already put down a deposit on the venue. I'm just not sure if we should tell the rest of our family's, grandparents, aunts, uncles ect. I feel like we should because my fiance has kind of a big mouth and I don't want anyone to find out before anyone else, but at the same time I don't want to tell people and have them feel like they need to congradulate us now or sends cards or anything.
         Sorry it's such a long post, I just feel like I'm in over my head and would appreciate any advice you have. Thanks

        

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from wendy98. Show wendy98's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    I think you should tell people and I believe that they will understand.  You guys have been engaged for a while and since one of you is being deployed it makes sense to me (but then again I have a few family members in the military so it makes sense to me.) 

    You could say that you are getting married at city hall with your parents and siblings, and after the deployment you intend to share your joy with all your family and friends with a renewal ceremony and reception.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    In Response to Could use some advice:
    [QUOTE]     Hi, I'm new here. Ive looked at the site a lot at work but have never actually signed up to post. But you all seem to be very insightful and I'm hoping you'll be able to help me.      My fiance and I have been planning to get married in October 2011. We've been engaged for 2 years already but because of an unexpected deployment we post poned our wedding...again. This past weekend we decided that we want to get married at city hall in the next few weeks, just our parents and siblings. We still want to have our schedualed wedding ceremony with all of our extended family and friends (my family is a little more on the traditional side) and have already put down a deposit on the venue. I'm just not sure if we should tell the rest of our family's, grandparents, aunts, uncles ect. I feel like we should because my fiance has kind of a big mouth and I don't want anyone to find out before anyone else, but at the same time I don't want to tell people and have them feel like they need to congradulate us now or sends cards or anything.      Sorry it's such a long post, I just feel like I'm in over my head and would appreciate any advice you have. Thanks     
    Posted by Neena101511[/QUOTE]

    Sounds very romantic!!! Marry your man!!! Then tell everyone.  You may find, once you are married, that throwing a big ole' wedding in two whole years doesn't seem like such a great idea.  If you do still want the big party - go for it!! Make it pretty and fun and enjoy yourself.

    But, no, don't make it a secret.  that's no way to start your life together and no way to treat your family. 


     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    I think it would be lovely to send people an announcement - let them be happy for you and send you good wishes (and cards and presents perhaps!) if they want to!!  It's a very exciting event, even without the big to-do!!  If you think you will definitely want the big celebration once the deployment is over, you could put something on the announcement about it - just an informal "we'll have a big party later!" sort of note.

    Plus, I would think your parents would have a VERY hard time keeping such news a secret!

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    I agree that you should send out announcements.  It's exciting, and your friends/family will be happy for you.  They'll want to know.  And I don't see anything wrong with including a note that details on the formal ceremony, to be held following the retun from deployment, will follow.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    Ditto what everyone else had said so far. I'm sure everyone will be happy for you and want to offer their congratulations either way so don't worry about that. Good luck and best wishes
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dani273. Show Dani273's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    Congratulations on your engagement. Since you are asking opinions, I will give mine. Your fiance is getting deployed, so that is beyond his control. Your family and his family I am sure love you both very much. I am quite sure that they will support whatever desicion you make in regards to your wedding plans. I would definatley be upfront with people, like the previous posters have said. No one like to left out of  "the loop". You should be very proud of him for defending his country and I  know that if someone does make a negative comment about the way you and he are planning things, maybe you should think twice about adding them to your guest list. Go ahead and plan for whatever you like. Remember, you are loved and will have the support of your family. That's what family is for. I wish you both the best of happiness!!!!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    Thank you to your FI for serving our country.  Get married now, if you want, and let everyone know! 

    You can have a big anniversary celebration in 2011 if you want to have a big party to celebrate your marriage. 

    Best wishes! 
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Neena101511. Show Neena101511's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    Thank you everyone, we talked it over lastnight and are going to send out an announcment. Now we actually have to put together an official list and get everyone's addresses...But it's an excuse to but a cute little dress...Somewhere
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from VanHassle. Show VanHassle's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    I just wanted to say congratulations, and that this happened to a friend of mine.  They told everyone and everyone, of course, completely understood and had a wonderful at the formal celebration two years after their city hall wedding.  
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    Congratulations to you Neena! Both on your engagement and you soon upcoming wedding. Please go ahead and marry the man you love.
    Deployment means lots of give an take. I am sure all your relatives (no matter how traditional they are) will understand.
    If you feel like it, you could always have a big wedding celebration later on. However, as time goes by - it may not be the thing you want. If you don't - you do not owe it to anyone.
    Hopefully your new husband will come back safe and sound. A big thank you to him for doing, what he is doing.
    Send your announcements - and best of luck to you two.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

         Tell the world!  Keeping it in would have killed you.  And people who love you want you to do what is right and be happy.
    May your husband serve well and come back for the celebration of your lives together-  not a bad thing for a soldier to look forward to on homecoming.  :)
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Neena101511. Show Neena101511's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    Again Thank you all so much. Your all very encouraging, and have made me feel so much better about our situation. I feel kind of greedy for still wanting to have our big wedding with the dress and everything else but we've already put down money on the venue and we both really want our day. Thank you again
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Could use some advice

    do NOT feel greedy!!!  Many of us here want(ed) the same thing!


    In Response to Re: Could use some advice:
    [QUOTE]Again Thank you all so much. Your all very encouraging, and have made me feel so much better about our situation. I feel kind of greedy for still wanting to have our big wedding with the dress and everything else but we've already put down money on the venue and we both really want our day. Thank you again
    Posted by Neena101511[/QUOTE]
     

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