Dollar Dance?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from lilyanna79. Show lilyanna79's posts

    Dollar Dance?

    All my posts are about money I guess. Have any of you done a Dollar Dance at your wedding? How did it go over? It's an old custom in my culture and I want one. FI doesn't care either way. A couple of the bridesmaids (who aren't from the same culture as me and FI) say it's tacky. What do you all think?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I've never seen one at a wedding.  But personally, I do find it tacky.  I'm coming to your wedding and giving you a nice check...I've already given you a nice shower gift and now you are charging people to dance with you. 

    I mean no disrespect to your culture or your circle of friends/family.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from venforknot. Show venforknot's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    This is a tradition in my family too. It's fun. I don't think it's tacky. If everyone knows what the tradition is then it's fine. I think it's when people don't know they get weird about it. I don't know why, it's only a dollar but they do. I've heard of some people giving the bride hundreds of dollars during this but I've never actually seen that happen. maybe at the weddings of the ladies on "Mob Wives"  but certainly not in my family. lol.  Tell your bridesmaids to pipe down, it's not their wedding. lol.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    Are you having any other aspects from your culture at the wedding? If so, then I think this could be appropriate too. If, however, this was the only shout out to your culture, then it may come across as rude and like you are being money hungry. It is a fine line.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I've never heard of a "dollar dance" and have never seen one.  If I were to seen it done @ a wedding I would think it is tacky.  

    Maybe if you explained to your guests ahead of time that the dollar dance is customary @ weddings of your heritage?     

    I've been to weddings where I've seen things done and didn't understand, but it was explained to all the guests ahead of time... 

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    Oh, this is very popular where I grew up in upstate NY. All of my family members had it at their weddings. Are you Polish? (My family is.) There were dollar dances, polka, and pierogies.

    That said, I do find the dollar dance a bit tacky. But if it's part of your culture then people may like and expect it, so do what you like. In the context of my family weddings it didn't seem tacky, if that makes sense, because it was just a part of a normal wedding there.

    I don't think it's done in New England much (hence the reaction toward tackiness) but different things are accepted in different regions.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    If it's a family or cultural custom, I think they are fine.  If it's really a cultural or family thing, why do you need hints for how to do it or how to explain it so that it doesn't come across as tacky? Your mom,  grandmother or aunts would be able to tell you how it's done. 

    We didn't do one, but it's not a tradition for us. 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I think it is tacky and I've never seen it done.  But, that's bc I grew up here and it is not a common tradition around here.  If the majority of your guests know the tradition, I think you are okay to do it.  However, if they aren't used to it or your FI's family is not used to it, they may find it somewhat offensive.  So I would weigh your desire to do it with the number of guests who have the potential to find it offensive.  If it is a large number, then I'd skip it or at least have an introduction about how it is traditional in your family. 

    If I went to a wedding that had one, i know I woudln't participate.  Mainly because the idea of having to pay to dance with the bride or groom seems so rude to me.  So also think about how it might go over depending on your crowd.  Woudln't it be awkward if you did it and no one came up to dance with you?  But I'm sure if you have a lot of family there, that woudln't happen, right?
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from momof3. Show momof3's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    In Response to Dollar Dance?:
    All my posts are about money I guess. Have any of you done a Dollar Dance at your wedding? How did it go over? It's an old custom in my culture and I want one. FI doesn't care either way. A couple of the bridesmaids (who aren't from the same culture as me and FI) say it's tacky. What do you all think?
    Posted by lilyanna79

    Definitely tacky where the desire is coming from you.  I have been to weddings where it is done but the bride did not know it would happen.  a guest suggested it.  Sorry, in my opinion, if you are requesting it, it comes across as money grubbing
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from SAW73. Show SAW73's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    If you want to do it because its traditional, why don't you make it fun and provide monopoly money with an explanation of the tradition wrapped up in a ribbon on each table.  That way you can have your dance and no one can say its money grubbing. 

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I think it's perfectly fine at a wedding in which at least one side of the family expects it because it's a long standing wedding tradition.  There are very often traditions incorporated into weddings that are not common to both families.  The fact that this involves money makes it touchier, but imo it's no different than any other "silly" or "tacky" wedding tradition.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I'd rather see a dollar dance at a wedding than see single women in a dogpile attacking each other for the bouquet, or the [shudder] garter toss.  A groom or other man crawling around under a woman's dress in public screams tacky much more loudly than a dollar dance family tradition. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ambergirl. Show ambergirl's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I never heard of this myself, but I googled it and find it is very rich in tradition.  Lots of information in this link for those who have not heard of it.  I say do what you want, it is your wedding, but an explanation before, maybe by your announcer, would be good in my opinion. That would be for the people like myself who wouldn't know what is going on.

    http://www.billt.com/dollardance.htm

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from JEnvie. Show JEnvie's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    In Response to Re: Dollar Dance?:
    If you want to do it because its traditional, why don't you make it fun and provide monopoly money with an explanation of the tradition wrapped up in a ribbon on each table.  That way you can have your dance and no one can say its money grubbing. 
    Posted by SAW73


    i think that is a great idea, and then if people want to give real money they will, but it incorporates the tradition into a tongue in cheek fun way
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    Without context I would think it was tacky.  I like SAW's idea a lot.  I'm all for keeping alive family traditions but this concept is new to me so without explanation I would be uncomfortable.

    Also, ALF, I love your explanation of the bouquet throwing and garter toss (both of which I thankfully omitted from my wedding).
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from simon08. Show simon08's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I have actually heard of this and at my wedding after we cut the cake there was a table that collected dollars and presented it to us - wasn't expecting it nor did I associate it with the dollar dance and it was a bit awkward but it was something that that particular table was familiar with from their culture I guess...there are many traditions from different cultures and not everyone agrees with them all because their's are different but I would go ahead and do it if your family follows that tradition and if people don't like it then don't give a dollar! 

    with that being said I totally agree with Alf and that a garter toss/bouquet toss is a lot more tacky than a dollar dance!!  I chose not to do either to avoid embarrassment all around and not 1 person mentioned it not being done (they were probably thankful!)  
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    It sounds like the bride and groom are being pimped out.

    This isn't the 20th century. It's time to end this humiliating practice - along with the removal of the bride's garter, and shoving wedding cake into each other's faces.

    Ick to all of that!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    " I have been to weddings where it is done but the bride did not know it would happen. a guest suggested it. "
    ----

    If I'd been surprised at my wedding like that? I would have fled, told the guests to go to you know where - after ripping them each a new a**.

    A bride should npt be surprised at her wedding, particularly a surprise as humiliating as pimping her out for money.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    "I have actually heard of this and at my wedding after we cut the cake there was a table that collected dollars and presented it to us -"

    I would have returned the money right then and there - and made an announcement over the microphone that I, the bride, was not there to be the evening's entertainment.

    What a poor role model/tradition to imprint on our daughters.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    Oh, I love SAW's idea of having the guests be told a little something about the tradition of it!  I am Greek American and I made the koufeta for all guests to take with them. What are they, you ask?  Well, I explained it on the table next to them for all the guests (like my husband's entire guest list) who didn't know what they are.  My greek american family of course knew what they were, and would have had a heart attack if they didn't see them! 

    koufeta are tulle wrapped jordan almonds (almonds with candy coating) - traditionally they represent the sweet and sour of marriage, and also evoke fertility (egg shaped little buggers), with at least 3 but otherwise always an odd # of almonds - 5 or 7.  Italians often do these, but call them something else.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kinga9. Show kinga9's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    In Response to Re: Dollar Dance?:
    Oh, I love SAW's idea of having the guests be told a little something about the tradition of it!  I am Greek American and I made the koufeta for all guests to take with them. What are they, you ask?  Well, I explained it on the table next to them for all the guests (like my husband's entire guest list) who didn't know what they are.  My greek american family of course knew what they were, and would have had a heart attack if they didn't see them!  koufeta are tulle wrapped jordan almonds (almonds with candy coating) - traditionally they represent the sweet and sour of marriage, and also evoke fertility (egg shaped little buggers), with at least 3 but otherwise always an odd # of almonds - 5 or 7.  Italians often do these, but call them something else.
    Posted by CT-DC

    Ah yes...the ever present "bomboniera". My mother is off the boat and we will probably end up having these at my wedding. My mother still has some from weddings 20 and 30 years ago. 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I agree, telling the guests about the tradition will make it a lot more fun for everyone!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from lilyanna79. Show lilyanna79's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    Yes I think I will have to explain the cultural aspect to those very few who will not understand. However, the large majority of the guests will understand and find it fun so I don't know why I'm even worried about what the very small minority at the function think. They can simply not participate. It's amazing to me how many people rail against something they are not used to instead of embracing it or at least looking at it with the lighthearted spirit it is intended with. Very different cultures!
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I went to a wedding in which the bride's family was of Polish descent, and they did the dollar dance.  I had never seen it done before, but it was obviously a traditional they all knew about and were into, so I didn't think anything about it.
    There was a lot of polka-ing that day, too!

    It was done with love and good vibes, so I didn't get offended in the least.

    (Unlike some posts I've seen on other wedding sites - the B+G have no tradition of it in their families but have heard of it and want to do it to "make some money".  YUCK!)

    If your groom's side of the family doesn't know of the tradition, the DJ could do a very quick and light-hearted explanation of what is about to take place so the other guests won't freak out!

    Have fun! 

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lizard. Show Lizard's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    This is 100% tacky.

    Yes, it's a tradition in other countries, but most folks do not know about this tradition and have already spend a lot of money on the couple between engagement, shower, and wedding gifts.  Not to mention bachelor and bachelorette parties, new clothes for the wedding and travel / hotel for the wedding.

    You want people to remember your wedding as the one with the great music / food / etc ... NOT the one where people had to pay extra once they already got there.
     
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