Dollar Dance?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from NS2011. Show NS2011's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I have been a guest at one wedding where the dollar dance happened and I had no idea the tradition existed before I was exposed to it. Needless to say, I thought it was very tacky. I agree with @Winter2011Bride - your guests have given you a gift for your wedding and maybe shower, and possibly are paying to travel to get to your wedding - so to "ask" for more money is too much. 

    However, I did hear of friends that had the dollar dance at their wedding but had someone pour a shot for people when they gave money. I thought that was a bit more acceptable/fun since guests were getting something in return and people were having a "good" time.

    I'm all for incorporating cultural and religious traditions into the special occasion but frankly I think this is one tradition that should not be carried on.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkandpearls. Show pinkandpearls's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    It is incredibly tacky. No offense to anyone's culture but it is.

    Are you having a cash bar too?

    I personally believe guests should not have to pay for anything to be guests at your wedding.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    It's a dollar bill, folks, not a $500 VISA gift card.  Stay calm. 

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I don't think it's tacky, I've been to a wedding where it was done.

    Like others have said, it's a dollar. And it's not mandatory, no one cares if you don't give a dollar.

    some people get all weird when it comes to cash or money which is directly requested or exchanges hands.
    my friend's brother was married in Kenya, where it's traditional to throw cash at the bride and groom while they dance. Different strokes for different folks.

    Cash bar = at least $3-$5 per drink. Not the same thing.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    In Response to Re: Dollar Dance?:
    IHowever, I did hear of friends that had the dollar dance at their wedding but had someone pour a shot for people when they gave money. I thought that was a bit more acceptable/fun since guests were getting something in return and people were having a "good" time.
    Posted by NS2011


    wait... I thought in return for the dollar you got to dance with the bride or the groom? Are we talking about something else?
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    What Cosmogirl said.

    If someone hasn't seen it before, asks what's going on, and the answer is "oh! This happens at every <insert culture here /> wedding. It's to wish the bride and groom wealth and happiness <or whatever> in their marriage!" The person might have been a little confused, but it seems like a nice tradition. Most of the family/friends are happily participating and all is well.

    Same scenario, but the answer is "oh! The bride saw it at another wedding and thought it was a really great idea. It's awesome for people to give them money!" Then it comes across as a bit... unsavory, especially if the majority of guests have no idea what's going on and the DJ is put in a position of explaining it to everyone but the couple.

    As with many wedding traditions, they can be done in such a way that no one thinks anything amiss or they can end up a hot mess. It's all in execution.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from NoUdon. Show NoUdon's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I think it's tacky.  Guests have spent money for hotel, travel, new clothes, wedding gifts, etc.  You could make it fun with the monopoly money idea, but to have something to get extra money is just tacky.  Donate the money to charity in memory for a family member who died recently?
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemondrop23. Show lemondrop23's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    OP and her FI know their guests better than any one else. If mosts guests are family and friends who will be expecting it, and will enjoy the tradition, then go for it! 

    If you think most of your guests will find it tacky, then skip it. 

    Personally, I've never been to a wedding where this was done, but if I saw it, and especially if it was explained as a family/cultural tradition, I'd join right in!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    In Response to Re: Dollar Dance?:
    It is incredibly tacky. No offense to anyone's culture but it is. Are you having a cash bar too? I personally believe guests should not have to pay for anything to be guests at your wedding.
    Posted by pinkandpearls


    Snooty, much?
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    Like cos said, if it were the $500 dance, that'd be a disaster.  A "dollar dance" that's traditional for her family?  Come on, people, get a grip.  Just because it involves money doesn't make it automatically tacky.  It's a tradition, no one HAS to participate, and if they do, it's a DOLLAR for pete's sake.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    Adhering to any tradition for the sake of it is silly. Unless you are an old lady that just cant stand change, in which case stay at home. 
    But surely the title "dollar dance" makes it a US custom in this case (or some other place they use dollars, perhaps? Australia? Hong kong?).

    In a world where people are getting married while bungee jumping, or dressed as star trek characters, or in helicopters above Vegas, or on beaches, or on cruise-ships, or a whole multitude of new and innovative ways maybe its time to put silly traditions to bed, if one cannot see their purpose. Doing something blindly makes you a sheep. Just because others have done something that way does not make it right. Do what makes you happy on your day, and fv(k the world, and their opinions. 

    If the OP wants it it's up to her. If not then never feel pressured into doing anything that makes no sense. Just explain that traditions change, the world moves on, and you live here now where its not common. 

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I'm surprised no one's heard of this. I've only been to two weddings (in MA and NH) where it wasn't done.

    Growing up, every wedding I went to did it. It was always a little awkward, but at the same time people enjoyed it. It was expected, kind of like, "Oh, there's cousin Tom doing every Michael Jackson dance he can remember. How strange." Everyone has weird family stuff like that, but it's accepted in the context of the group.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I'm surprised no one's heard of this. I've only been to two weddings (in MA and NH) where it wasn't done.

    Growing up, every wedding I went to did it. It was always a little awkward, but at the same time people enjoyed it. It was expected, kind of like, "Oh, there's cousin Tom doing every Michael Jackson dance he can remember. How strange." Everyone has weird family stuff like that, but it's accepted in the context of the group.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    In Response to Re: Dollar Dance?:
    Like cos said, if it were the $500 dance, that'd be a disaster.  A "dollar dance" that's traditional for her family?  Come on, people, get a grip.  Just because it involves money doesn't make it automatically tacky.  It's a tradition, no one HAS to participate, and if they do, it's a DOLLAR for pete's sake.
    Posted by kargiver


    I agree. this whole money/cash = tacky thing is so strange. I've never understood it. It seems so snooty.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkandpearls. Show pinkandpearls's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    In Response to Re: Dollar Dance?:
    In Response to Re: Dollar Dance? : Snooty, much?
    Posted by plasko


    Quick to judge, much?

    No, I'm not being snooty. I asked if she was doing a cash bar because of a recent experience I had at a wedding.

    We walked into cocktail hour...Card box in the middle of the entrance, walk further in, cash bar, go to dinner, cash bar....I felt like I was getting hit up for money at every turn.

    The OP asked for opinions, my opinion is guests shouldn't pay anything at your event.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    what exactly is rude about a card box?
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from simon08. Show simon08's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    you know the more I read some of these posts it is a little sad how people are swayed by others opinions - as long as I can remember and every wedding I have ever been to there has been a card box - to be honest there were guests at my wedding that did not give a card/gift - so it is your choice if you decide to put something in the card box. 

    We thought long and hard about cash vs. open bar because quite frankly it is expensive and people waste just for the sake of having a drink from an open bar - we did go with open with a cap at a certain amount - which we didn't reach - but had we reached that cap...we did the best we could

    then there is having certain songs that people will absolutely refuse to have because they are tacky - but if you notice those are the ones that usually get everyone up and dancing vs. some of the songs on the radio today

    before I go on and on - bottom line - IT IS YOUR DAY...DO WHAT YOU WANT! you are paying for it, you want it, have dreamed of it, etc. so do it and if people don't like it...oh well...
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    The card box is being "hit up for money?"  Whoa, pull up on the reigns.  Where are cards supposed to go?  Would it be less offensive to forgo the card box and ask the bride to tuck the cards into her bustle?  

    Let's be rational, people.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkandpearls. Show pinkandpearls's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I apologize, I should have clarified (I was trying to avoid too long of a story)...

    The couple specifically asked for cash-only for their wedding.

    Ok, fine, that's their choice. But when you walk in, give them a generous cash gift, and then face a cash bar? That's when I think it's a bit much...



    But that's entirely besides the OP question....

    My whole point is...be sensitive to what you're asking for from your guests.

    The OP asked if other people thought a dollar dance is tacky.

    Yes, I think it is.

    However, if it's a tradition with her family or culture, then do whatever the heck she wants to do.

    Would I seriously judge someone for having a dollar dance? No. It's their wedding, they can do whatever they want.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    In Response to Re: Dollar Dance?:
    In Response to Re: Dollar Dance? : Quick to judge, much? No, I'm not being snooty. I asked if she was doing a cash bar because of a recent experience I had at a wedding. We walked into cocktail hour...Card box in the middle of the entrance, walk further in, cash bar, go to dinner, cash bar....I felt like I was getting hit up for money at every turn. The OP asked for opinions, my opinion is guests shouldn't pay anything at your event.
    Posted by pinkandpearls


    Well we don't all own private jets and hotels to fly our friends in and put them up for the event. 
    As for the "Quick to judge, much?" comment, right back at ya.

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    okay, but I see a cash bar and a dollar dance being entirely different. If you're getting a drink at a cash bar it's going to be $3-$4, and if you don't want to pay it, you're stuck with water. A dollar dance is $1 and if you don't want to give a dollar, no one cares.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from lilyanna79. Show lilyanna79's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    What if it were a penny dance? Would anyone care as much? or is it just that whopping $1 that's upsetting people? I think I asked the original question honestly because I was annoyed about how anyone could find a silly little dance that only was $1 tacky. Reading these responses I'm even more annoyed. And honestly, a little offended by some. I never thought people could be so outraged by a dance!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    Pinkandpearls' story isn't comparable to the OP's. You're complaining about a couple who actually had the balls to request cash and no gifts from their guests--I think everyone would agree that's gauche--but the OP wants to do a family tradition that involves waving a dollar bill in the air. Really not a big deal.

    Lilyanna, do your dance. It sounds like your family will expect and enjoy it. If people want to get their panties in a twist about it, let them. Some people just like to complain.
     
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  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from miscricket. Show miscricket's posts

    Re: Dollar Dance?

    I have never heard of a dollar dance..but it sounds interesting...I tend to "go with the flow" at events like this. I happen to believe people are entitled to have whatever kind of day they like...
     
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