engagement party etiquette?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    engagement party etiquette?

    My parents are hosting my engagement party this weekend. I always thought that engagement parties were a no gift affair, but my mother mentioned some people she knew were bringing gifts. Assuming she is correct, should we open the gifts at the party or wait until after the party?

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    Wait until after - otherwise you run the risk of those that didn't bring a gift feeling uncomfortable.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    Definitely AFTER.  Traditionally, you're right the engagement party is a no gift party.  BUT, as we've discussed here time and time again, there is massive confusion about it out there.  So, if you open your gifts there it will only serve to massively embarrass those who followed the old rules and didn't bring one.  Set them in a room out of sight after a demure and gracious word for the giver.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    Open them afterwards and in private. You only open gifts at a shower b/c that's the point of the event.  You don't open gifts during engagement parties or weddings.  Good luck. 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    Thanks for the tips. That's what I thought too but I heard from someone saying that they might be offended if we didn't open the gifts in their presence. We will definitely NOT open them during the party and of course will send thank-you's!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    [QUOTE]Thanks for the tips. That's what I thought too but I heard from someone saying that they might be offended if we didn't open the gifts in their presence. We will definitely NOT open them during the party and of course will send thank-you's!
    Posted by cicirose[/QUOTE]

    Sounds like you've got it all figured out.  :)  Good luck, and have a great time at your party!  Let us know how it went!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    I agree, after. Although engagement gifts are usually small, and sometimes not wrapped at all. Like bottles of wine or candlesticks or picture frames.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    In Response to Re: engagement party etiquette?:
    [QUOTE]Open them afterwards and in private. You only open gifts at a shower b/c that's the point of the event.  You don't open gifts during engagement parties or weddings.  Good luck. 
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    I just had this awesome vision of a bride sitting down in the middle of her wedding to open all the gifts.  :)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    that would have been interesting (for me at least), I got polka dot wine glasses as one of my gifts. Multi colored polka dots with a gold stem. They are in with our other wine glasses and they make my cabinet a little more colorful lol. I laughed at home a little when I opened them and that would have been hard not to do had we opened them in front of other people
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    A couple who we were friends with hosted an engagement party for us.  It was purely a get together with our friends to celebrate our engagement.  Some brought gifts, which we opened after the event. 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    After is right.

    I was looking up engagement party traditions in various sites the other night, and LMAO when someone writing in on time and cost saving tips, wrote that she sat down and opened all the giftsshe received ahead of time, and those people brought, because thanking them then and there saved the time and cost of buying writing, and mailing thank you notes.
         She said people were really surprised, even stunned,  at her thoughtfullness in doing it.
     "I'll bet it was not your "thoughtfulness"  they were stunned at"  was the columnist's answer, before she blasted her.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    In Response to Re: engagement party etiquette?:
    [QUOTE]After is right. I was looking up engagement party traditions in various sites the other night, and LMAO when someone writing in on time and cost saving tips, wrote that she sat down and opened all the giftsshe received ahead of time, and those people brought, because thanking them then and there saved the time and cost of buying writing, and mailing thank you notes.      She said people were really surprised, even stunned,  at her thoughtfullness in doing it.  "I'll bet it was not your "thoughtfulness"  they were stunned at"  was the columnist's answer, before she blasted her.
    Posted by whatawagSBNy[/QUOTE]

    HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Awesome.  Thanks.  :)

    Think of all the time and money you could save by opening wedding gifts in advance and thanking people at the wedding!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ETE13180. Show ETE13180's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    My soon to be mother in law is hosting our engagement party and I dont think this is a time to ask people to bring gifts.  Our wedding is a year away!  The wedding shower is a time for gift giving. 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    In Response to Re: engagement party etiquette?:
    [QUOTE]My soon to be mother in law is hosting our engagement party and I dont think this is a time to ask people to bring gifts.  Our wedding is a year away!  The wedding shower is a time for gift giving. 
    Posted by ETE13180[/QUOTE]

    You should never ask people to bring gifts.  However, there are some people who will bring a small gift to an engagement party, like PK said, like a bottle of wine or an engagement party.  In that case, it is appropriate to wait until after the party to open them.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from miss-cellaneousJones. Show miss-cellaneousJones's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    In Response to Re: engagement party etiquette?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: engagement party etiquette? : I just had this awesome vision of a bride sitting down in the middle of her wedding to open all the gifts.  :)
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]
    Ha ha yes! Veruca Salt as a bride :)
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    I just came back to look if anyone else posted to this and I couldn't stop laughing at the image of the bride opening the presents at the wedding. HILARIOUS!!!

    Also, just wanted to point out that I'm totally not asking for presents at this party! I would NEVER do that and I would never expect a present at any party, for any reason. I hope I did not come across as a greedy person when I wrote this. I wanted to make sure I do the right thing in the event that someone decides to give us a present.

    Thank you all again for the tips and the funny image!

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    You didn't come across as greedy.  You question was clearly aimed at finding out what to do if people come bearing gifts. :)

    (The asking for presents comment was in direct response to another poster who said "[her engagement party'] isn't the time to ask for presents," but, I think she meant it isn't a time she should be expecting gifts (as per tradition) like at a shower or at her wedding.)
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: engagement party etiquette?

    Yes, if you get some gifts, open them after the party.  And, make sure to send thank you notes :)
     

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