Excuses for backing out last minute?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from tibird. Show tibird's posts

    Excuses for backing out last minute?

    In the past few days, I have heard that there will be 3-4 people that RSVP'd yes who are now not coming (all are my friends, which were a small percentage of the guests to begin with).  Haven't heard why yet for most, but I'm really curious...
    I understand that the world doesn't stop for my wedding.  People have stuff going on, and these people are all from out of state, so I understand, but it still makes me sad. 
    So, I'm curious, what were some of the best & worst last minute excuses you got from guests?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    I only had 2 people RSVP yes and then not come. One was a toddler, who was sick. He stayed home w/ Grandma. The other was the husband of a friend of mine.  His dad fell and was hospitalized, so he had to drive to NY to make sure he was okay.  I think both were perfectly reasonable excuses. 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?


    I find it strange they didn't say why even though they aren't required by etiquette to explain themselves.  Seems they'd want to say what came up...

    The only couple that didn't come after saying they would was the poor woman who had a stroke the day before the wedding!!!!!  Turns out she is OK and had a full recovery, thank God!  The MOG was trying to protect us from knowing, but it wasn't a big wedding and we asked about them.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    We had a couple call the day of and back out because, "she has to work late." She's an attorney and it was a Friday night.  I thought it was totally lame.  Also thought it was lame that the husband didn't come alone if she really had to work.  I would have sent my DH in that situation.
    They never sent a gift (not that I wanted one) or...as many of you mention...a card.  I think if I had blown off someone's wedding I would have made an effort to apologize and wish the couple well.
    Whatever.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    "I forgot, i didn't put it in my phone and I forgot". lol but he took us out to dinner after we got back from our honeymoon as an appolgy :-)
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from tibird. Show tibird's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    Wow... I guess I thought this was more common.  The one person who I have heard directly from is building an addition to his house & the trusses are due in by next weekend.  If he comes out for the wedding he'll be set back by 2 weeks in the building (friends can't help the next weekend which is Memorial Day).  He'll be terribly missed, but I know he's on a tight schedule & doesn't want to get behind.  I'm actually hoping it rains (at least in PA) so he can make it!

    3 others haven't told me yet, just told a friend & didn't say why.  I'm hoping they change their mind and come, or at least tell me this week before our counts are due.

    It is encouraging to hear that this hasn't happened to many people! 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    [QUOTE]Wow... I guess I thought this was more common.  The one person who I have heard directly from is building an addition to his house & the trusses are due in by next weekend.  If he comes out for the wedding he'll be set back by 2 weeks in the building (friends can't help the next weekend which is Memorial Day).  He'll be terribly missed, but I know he's on a tight schedule & doesn't want to get behind.  I'm actually hoping it rains (at least in PA) so he can make it! 3 others haven't told me yet, just told a friend & didn't say why.  I'm hoping they change their mind and come, or at least tell me this week before our counts are due. It is encouraging to hear that this hasn't happened to many people! 
    Posted by tibird[/QUOTE]

    I know awkward would be an understatement, but I strongly urge you to find out if those 3 people are coming or not for sure (from them) before you give your count to the venue.  That's 6 people, right?  Too many one way or the other to be off.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    [QUOTE]We had a couple call the day of and back out because, "she has to work late." She's an attorney and it was a Friday night.  I thought it was totally lame.  Also thought it was lame that the husband didn't come alone if she really had to work.  I would have sent my DH in that situation. They never sent a gift (not that I wanted one) or...as many of you mention...a card.  I think if I had blown off someone's wedding I would have made an effort to apologize and wish the couple well. Whatever.
    Posted by misslily[/QUOTE]

    Misslily, it may not be as lame as you think. If she worked for a big firm, it's totally reasonable and not unusual.  Sometimes things come up at the last minute and you can be told you have to stay and do something.  If you don't, you get fired.  Now, if she works for a smaller firm, then she is full of it.  Either way, she should have gotten you a gift and gone WAY out of her way to make it up to you.  
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    I'm worried about a few last minute backouts myself, but what can ya do.  My friend who lives in Delaware responded that he's coming and bringing a guest (which he was invited to do), but I have a feeling he won't show.

    Got a decline from a former close friend who said she has a business trip that weekend.  Not sure I believe her, to be honest.  This makes her 0 for 3 at our friends' weddings and she always has a good excuse.  We all went to her wedding last year.  Have a nice life sista!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    Different situation, but my FI's cousin declined his brother's wedding, so she could go on a business trip with her husband.  To each his own, but I thought that was lame. 

    My sister had a guest cancel at the last minute, because he was in the hospital.  We all agreed it was a very good reason! 

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    The only last-minute back out were two elderly relatives that were very ill. They ended up calling my dad and MIL resectively the day-of, since they were really hoping to have a "good day" so they could make it.

    Although my uncle sent back his RSVP card, declining, and saying "I really wish I could be there. I'd explain why, but I really feel like there's no excuse."
    I was sad that he felt so bad that he couldn't come. He did send a gift and I sent him a TY that said I totally understand that sometimes life keeps you from where you want to be most and that I didn't love him any less because of it.

    I agree with ALF on the attorney's excuse. Sometime's they really have no choice, it's work late or get fired.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    I'm actually a little relieved to read ALF and Pink's words about attorneys.  The friend I mentioned above is an attorney.  However, her excuses for the last two weddings were not work related, they were pre-attorney.  Sigh.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    well, it might not be personal, she might hate weddings? It's still kinda crappy, but at least if she's 0 for 3, it's clear she's not picking favorites.

    [QUOTE]I'm actually a little relieved to read ALF and Pink's words about attorneys.  The friend I mentioned above is an attorney.  However, her excuses for the last two weddings were not work related, they were pre-attorney.  Sigh.
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    FMIL keeps telling me that her sister (FI's aunt) probably won't come. BUt she RSVP'd yes. She says, "well it will really depend on how she's feeling that day."

    Well, I really hope that she's feeling like forking out $100 that day if she isn't feeling like witnessing her nephew's nuptials.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    [QUOTE]Misslily, it may not be as lame as you think. If she worked for a big firm, it's totally reasonable and not unusual.  Sometimes things come up at the last minute and you can be told you have to stay and do something.  If you don't, you get fired.  Now, if she works for a smaller firm, then she is full of it.  Either way, she should have gotten you a gift and gone WAY out of her way to make it up to you.  
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]
    Yeah - I know how tough it can be at a big firm. But this person is a partner at a small firm that mostly does wills and family law.  Not usually something pressing last minute on a Friday night at those places. :)
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    lol!

    [QUOTE] Well, I really hope that she's feeling like forking out $100 that day if she isn't feeling like witnessing her nephew's nuptials.
    Posted by amschnittger[/QUOTE]
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    [QUOTE]Sometimes I wish I had at least an excuse.  We had 4 people who RSVP'd yes and never showed that day and we have yet to hear from them - almost a year later. I think they feel embarassed at this point, but I think we deserved at least an email if not a call saying "sorry we weren't able to make it".  We felt slighted, plus the fact that we still had to pay for their dinner!!!! 
    Posted by caribbeanlover[/QUOTE]

    Rude doesn't begin to describe that!  These are people you invited to your wedding so obviously you felt close to them.  They felt close enough to you to RSVP Yes.  Then, they don't show and don't speak to you ever again?  It's like a lame movie.  I'd wonder, too...very strange.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from starbuckslas. Show starbuckslas's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    My DH mum's best friends did show up the day of the wedding. They had RSVP'd saying they were coming. This one hit my DH hard.. his parents are both deceased and it really meant a great deal to him for this couple to be at our wedding. He called them before we left for our honeymoon. They had the excuse.... we weren't really sure we liked the idea of having to drive into Boston......... W.T.F........ They'd known for months we were having our reception in town.... this one took the cake... I made sure to keep them off of our christmas card list... Broke my DH's heart...
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    That is a bummer starbucks!!  Until two days ago we hadn't rec'd a rsvp from my fiance's father/stepmother/little brothers and I was nervous.  That would have been heartbreaking for him.

    Some people would say you don't need to provide an excuse, but I think if you really care about the people getting married you would at least let them know you wish you could be there.  There are some people from whom you receive a decline and you didn't bat an eye because it's your future grandmother-in-law's cousin or something, but there are other people that you reeeeally wanted to be there and it would be nice to know that they really wanted to be with you too.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    Sorry to say that we had a number of people who just didn't show up, never called, sent a card, or apologized.  And not just DH's lame-o drinking buddies.  Some were people who should have known better.


    When I did run into the various offenders after the wedding, they didn't even mention it.  I have to admit, I was quite miffed.  (We were very lucky that our venue did not charge per head -- it was $X for a range of people, i.e. 100 - 125 -- or I would have been even more ticked off.)



     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    P.S. Tibird - first of all, you can't believe everything you hear......maybe those people really are coming, someone misunderstood, or whatever. 

    MOre important, I hope you and Mr. T have the most wonderful day.  You certainly deserve it!!!   Can't believe it's finally here!

    Love and best wishes,

    Cos 

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    [QUOTE]Sorry to say that we had a number of people who just didn't show up, never called, sent a card, or apologized.  And not just DH's lame-o drinking buddies.  Some were people who should have known better. When I did run into the various offenders after the wedding, they didn't even mention it.  I have to admit, I was quite miffed.  (We were very lucky that our venue did not charge per head -- it was $X for a range of people, i.e. 100 - 125 -- or I would have been even more ticked off.)
    Posted by cosmogirl[/QUOTE]

    Thank goodness for how your venue charged you, like you said.  If it were per head "quite miffed" woudln't nearly have conveyed enough disgust!  I'd be pretty mad, anyway, too...  People!!!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    At least you were the bigger person and didn't call them out on it. I don't know if I'd be able to hold my tongue.

    [QUOTE]Sorry to say that we had a number of people who just didn't show up, never called, sent a card, or apologized.  And not just DH's lame-o drinking buddies.  Some were people who should have known better. When I did run into the various offenders after the wedding, they didn't even mention it.  I have to admit, I was quite miffed.  (We were very lucky that our venue did not charge per head -- it was $X for a range of people, i.e. 100 - 125 -- or I would have been even more ticked off.)
    Posted by cosmogirl[/QUOTE]
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    [QUOTE]At least you were the bigger person and didn't call them out on it. I don't know if I'd be able to hold my tongue.
    Posted by pinkkittie18[/QUOTE]

    Frankly, I don't either.  I'd be very tempted to say something...phew, not sure I could stand it.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: Excuses for backing out last minute?

    I handle multiple events for work, so when people show up who didn't RSVP or not show up after RSVPing, I have to swallow back that irritation because I need to be professional.
    In my personal life, all the pent-up irritation would pour out in that situation. Tongue out

    [QUOTE]Frankly, I don't either.  I'd be very tempted to say something...phew, not sure I could stand it.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]
     

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