Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    I think everyone has traces of negativity in their life in one way or another.  It's just the way they project it on others, that's the real issue. 

    I have heard people say something "negative" about a lot of what I'm doing for my wedding that I test it now.  I love saying "how happy" I am with this and that, just to see if they will have a negative reaction.  Or, just to bug them a bit because I KNOW they will.

    That's the fun I have.  Whenever I hear about other people's weddings and details, I'm happy for them.  More power to you and your choices.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ihavemyhats. Show Ihavemyhats's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    I was going to post and say that no woman with three children should be expecting to be a bridesmaid - then I remembered that my own mother was matron of honor once when she had 4 of us.  For her husband's sister.  But that was because of a deep love between the two women, without which an invitation is not required.

    And I agree that she should be spending her time making sure her kids are well-behaved, not showing herself off.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from WMegs5. Show WMegs5's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    What if he had 6 sisters?  They'd all have to be bridesmaids?  I don't think you'd agree with that, but even though the logistics would be easier given it being "just one," the principle is exactly the same whether it's one or six.
    Posted by kargiver


    In my FI's family/circle the answer would probably be yes, and he is also having his sister's husbands as groomsmen.  Incidentally, one of my FI's sisters also has 4 children. Surprise to me, but like I said some groups have different traditions.  I'd personally rather be inclusive but if OP, her husband to be & family don't care one way or the other then no harm done :)
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    one of my brothers wife is one of 8 kids, w/4 sisters, 3 brothers.  we're a family of 6, (3 boys, 3 at the time girls).  they decided to have a MOH & a BM each.  no bm's, no flower girls,  no ring bearers, no ushers.   it worked wonders.  
    i was quite happy not to have been asked.   it was the one time I had extra money to give better gifts at both the shower and the wedding, which is what i really wanted to do, as opposed to spending a ton of $$ being the attendant and skimp on the gift ...
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from BostonGirl82. Show BostonGirl82's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    My fiance and I are in the process of booking our wedding for either August/ October 2010. With it being further out I think it buys me more time to really think this through- I don't plan on asking people to be in my wedding party until this late summer/ early fall (2009).

    In a nut shell, his sister feels like she is somehow entitled and everyone owes her something. Even though she is impossible to reason with, I might just try to have a conversation with her over the summer about it and see her reaction.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    ...I test it now.  I love saying "how happy" I am with this and that, just to see if they will have a negative reaction.  Or, just to bug them a bit because I KNOW they will. That's the fun I have...
    Posted by Goodness1


    Ooooh, juicy evilness in Goodness, I LOVE it!!!  Wink

    Seriously, though, I totally agree; no one is or can be expected to be perfectly positive all the time; they have looney bins for those folks.  It just too bad when negativity takes over someone's life.  I wonder if it just becomes a habit for some people that they don't realize is ruining their lives. 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    Ooooh, juicy evilness in Goodness, I LOVE it!!!  Seriously, though, I totally agree; no one is or can be expected to be perfectly positive all the time; they have looney bins for those folks.  It just too bad when negativity takes over someone's life.  I wonder if it just becomes a habit for some people that they don't realize is ruining their lives. 
    Posted by kargiver


    Kar, it sounds worse than it is.  It's really surprising how people think they are allowed to have opinions/advice without it being requested.  Just odd.  So, these are the people who I tell I'm "SO HAPPY" with my choices just to see what they say. 

    After a while of behavior like this, people who are negative tend to make those types of reactions part of their lives, and it's natural for them to be that way. 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    Kar, it sounds worse than it is.  It's really surprising how people think they are allowed to have opinions/advice without it being requested.  Just odd.  So, these are the people who I tell I'm "SO HAPPY" with my choices just to see what they say.  After a while of behavior like this, people who are negative tend to make those types of reactions part of their lives, and it's natural for them to be that way. 
    Posted by Goodness1


    I wasn't horrified, I got it.  :)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    Okay, good. 

    Can I tell you that it really bothers people that I've been engaged for over a year?  They're always, "Geez, aren't you married yet?".  Um, thank you...
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from dbilodeau. Show dbilodeau's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    When I asked her, she said, "Yeah, that's right, I better be a bridesmaid". 


    I don't get this.  I don't see the fascination with wanting to be a bridesmaid.  It's an honor to do it for someone you love and are really close to, but just to be in a wedding for the sake of being in it...don't get it.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    I don't get this.  I don't see the fascination with wanting to be a bridesmaid.  It's an honor to do it for someone you love and are really close to, but just to be in a wedding for the sake of being in it...don't get it.
    Posted by dbilodeau


    That's how she came off to me.  Not for the honor, but for the sake of she'd "better be".  Like, what?  Or, else?  Ha, ha.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    I thought you two were buddies?  Sheesh!

    I've been engaged for well over 2 years.  Totally OK with it.  Over a year is completely normal.  Weird.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    I'm actually really glad all those other posts got deleted.  They were hurting my eyes!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    I thought you two were buddies?  Sheesh! I've been engaged for well over 2 years.  Totally OK with it.  Over a year is completely normal.  Weird.
    Posted by framerican51008


    When a lot of venues book up over a year in advance for certain dates it seems natural to me that engagements would be longer than a year.  But, engaged, or "almost married," is limbo that we choose to be in. Generally, it's a common human experience to try to avoid states of limbo as they are inherantly stressful. So, it can seem odd to folks that you'd choose to be engaged so long.  Of course, it's truly none of their business and not their place to judge, but it might be where the negativity stems from.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from calmdown. Show calmdown's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    Kar, being engaged without a date to marry is odd, isn't it?
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    When a lot of venues book up over a year in advance for certain dates it seems natural to me that engagements would be longer than a year.  But, engaged, or "almost married," is limbo that we choose to be in. Generally, it's a common human experience to try to avoid states of limbo as they are inherantly stressful. So, it can seem odd to folks that you'd choose to be engaged so long.  Of course, it's truly none of their business and not their place to judge, but it might be where the negativity stems from.
    Posted by kargiver


    Our wedding date got booked one and a half months after we got engaged.  We wanted to enjoy being engaged without thinking of the planning.  So, no offense to anyone on this board who feels the need to be negative, but we had always had a date. 

    Enough said!!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    Our wedding date got booked one and a half months after we got engaged.  We wanted to enjoy being engaged without thinking of the planning.  So, no offense to anyone on this board who feels the need to be negative, but we had always had a date.  Enough said!!
    Posted by Goodness1


    I wasn't sanctioning the negativity, simply suggesting where it might be coming from.  Nor do I feel that way myself. 

    Is this the day for misunderstanding our friends?
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    Odd to whom?  Who cares?
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    I wasn't sanctioning the negativity, simply suggesting where it might be coming from.  Nor do I feel that way myself.  Is this the day for misunderstanding our friends?
    Posted by kargiver


    Wasn't meant for you, kar.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    Wasn't meant for you, kar.
    Posted by Goodness1


    Oh, sorry - too much going on here. :) 
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    Oh, sorry - too much going on here. :) 
    Posted by kargiver


    No way.  I like reading things from you... good or bad.  Not that they're ever bad, but you know what I mean.  You always have something to offer, which I appreciate regardless.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    No way.  I like reading things from you... good or bad.  Not that they're ever bad, but you know what I mean.  You always have something to offer, which I appreciate regardless.
    Posted by Goodness1


    I do know what you mean, thanks, Hon.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from calmdown. Show calmdown's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    If someone says we are engaged, normal people say "When is the big day!" not, "so, you two going to live together in sin for a few years until you finally get off the couch and show some committment or is that too much of a hassle."
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    For what it's worth, I think it's totally normal to be engaged for more than one year. I was engaged for 18 months, and we chose the date the day after he popped the question.
    I've known people engaged for 3 years because they didn't want to plan their wedding until after grad school was over. Who could blame them?
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Future Sister In Law/ Bridesmaid

    For what it's worth, I think it's totally normal to be engaged for more than one year. I was engaged for 18 months, and we chose the date the day after he popped the question. I've known people engaged for 3 years because they didn't want to plan their wedding until after grad school was over. Who could blame them?
    Posted by pinkkittie18


    The experience of planning a wedding is fun, exciting, nuts at times, stressful, frustrating... everything.  There are so many emotions involved in planning a wedding that I'm sure plenty of people appreciate the time being engaged in order to plan it.  Besides, who cares how long someone's engagement is? 
     
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