Gifts not from one's registry

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Reader001. Show Reader001's posts

    Gifts not from one's registry

    I recently had my shower and my friends were wonderful and generous. However, a couple of people gave me gifts that were not from any of my registries and I'm not sure how to proceed. Considering that there may be more at the wedding how have you folks dealt with these gifts and the thank you notes and other related issues? I feel terribly guilty at the thought of returning them (or, in the case of one gift that came with no reciept, donating...).
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    I recently had my shower, too, and I got a few gifts that weren't on my registry.  They included the receipts, which was good.  There was one of them that didn't, so that might be something that I have a problem with if we decide not to keep them.  I do know where they bought them as they were added to my registry.  I suppose the store placed it on my registry, so I knew that it wasn't originally placed there, but they have a record of it.  Who knows. 

    I just thanked the people for the specific gift.  Just as I would for any other gift that was bought from my registries.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    I just had my shower on Sunday, and we only got one gift that wasn't on our registry.  It was a margarita machine, that we are TOTALLY keeping, and probably using every weekend.  :)

    We actually don't have any returns, but if we did I would thank the person for the specific gift in the thank you card.  I'd say how much I loved it and that I'll use it often, and never mention returning it.  They won't know any different, especially if they're people that you don't have at your home often.

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    The couple things that we got that weren't on our registry, we're keeping, too.  There were a couple dupes, which we have to return, as well.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdd01. Show jdd01's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    I agree with kmt...just kindly thank everyone for all of their gifts and return what you don't think you'll be using.  If you don't have the receipts, then donating might be a good option for someone who might need it more than you.  Don't feel guilty...I bet more people return gifts than you can imagine.  Decide what you and your FI are doing with these extra gifts and keep it too yourselves.  It might not be the best thing if word spread that you returned a lot of your gifts.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    I would just thank them as I would for any other gift, without mentioning the registry or whether it's a duplicate or anything. 

    Much like how you thank your grandmother for the thoughtful knitted sweater with snowmen on the front, despite the fact that you're 32 and will never wear it.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    Imagine if someone said, "Thanks for the gift, even though we didn't register for it.  Now, I have the fun task of making the return during all my free time of wedding planning!  SO THANKS!!". 

    HA!  I would laugh out loud if someone actually did that.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Reader001. Show Reader001's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    In Response to Re: Gifts not from one's registry:
    [QUOTE]Imagine if someone said, "Thanks for the gift, even though we didn't register for it.  Now, I have the fun task of making the return during all my free time of wedding planning!  SO THANKS!!".  HA!  I would laugh out loud if someone actually did that.
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]
    "Or end up storing this thing in my tiny third floor attic apartment!"

    I have this fear that the next time we entertain and use the serving item that we had actually registered for (and received), as opposed to the one they gave us, they'll be looking around and wondering...or god forbid, asking, like grandma does, "so how do you like your sweater?" I feel like an ungrateful wretch. Can anyone tell I have a hard time with the whole gift thing?
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    It's a tough situation, but you can't let it get you down or upset or worried.  I'm sure people will be looking out for their gifts when they visit your house, but what are they going to do if you don't remember to bring it out?  Remind them?  Actually, some might! 

    Every time I opened a gift at my shower, I held it up and made sure EVERYONE saw what that person got me and I thanked them profusely right then and there.  Phew... you just never know with some folks.  I wouldn't want anyone to leave my shower sad that they weren't acknowledged.  Because everyone's gift and presence was acknowledged.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    In Response to Re: Gifts not from one's registry:
    [QUOTE]I have this fear that the next time we entertain and use the serving item that we had actually registered for (and received), as opposed to the one they gave us, they'll be looking around and wondering...or god forbid, asking, like grandma does, "so how do you like your sweater?" I feel like an ungrateful wretch. Can anyone tell I have a hard time with the whole gift thing?
    Posted by Reader001[/QUOTE]

    Before you entertain, take the serving platter they gave you, and stick it in the dishwasher.  ;)

    If you don't want to do that, then don't worry about it.  Presumably you're going to receive more gifts than you can possibly use each and every time you entertain.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    Ditto what everyone said - just thanking them for the gift. 

    I thought this was weird - several people gave us "calking" sheets, which were not on any of our registries.  After the first one (which came in the mail) the two of us, for like a week, were like, "what the heck are calking sheets???"  Finally we realized.  Duh.  ("California King" sheets, for those of you, like us, who had no clue).  SEVERAL people got them for us, which I thought was very odd considering we had registered for queen sized sheets!!  Anyone else had this happen?
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    That is odd.  Especially since you specifically registered for "queen" sized sheets.  Hhhhmmm... I wonder why they did that.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    I'm not really sure why this is an issue?  Unless you have absolutely positively no use for the items?  We received some stuff that wasn't on the registry and I loved being surprised!  I think it's completely OK to return the gifts if you know which store they came from.  But I can see why you would be nervous if it's from someone you are likely to have over...  I only had to return a few duplicates... and I might return our napkins and placemats because I don't like them anymore Undecided

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from somethingold. Show somethingold's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    I don't think anyone "has" to get your gift from the registry so just consider it as you would any other type of present (birthday, etc. you don't register for b-day gifts do you) and say an embellished thank you. 

    I switched colors on a gift I got (it was a handmade item) so that I could use it in a room of more prominence - I really did love it - just the color wasn't working for me, and I told the givers so that they would recognize it when they came into my home.  And I think I hurt their feelings....but I get way more use of it in the living room than I would in a bedroom, and my intent was to honor the piece given by really dear friends...it didn't work for me and in hindsight I don't know if I would do the same thing again.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    For the most part, the off registry gifts that we got were really nice, so we kept them.  For some returns, I had the receipts, so it wasn't a problem.  For other items that didn't have a receipt, if it was something Macy's carried, I tried to return it there.  I think I ended up getting the lowest price they sold that item at w/in acertain period of time, which was fine. It was better than asking someone  for a receipt. I could never ask a friend or relative for the receipt.  lol. I'd feel too guilty.  

    We did get some stuff from people that was just not our taste and that we have no use for.  Since we don't have a receipt, we are keeping it to either 'regift' later on [if we think someone will like it] or else donate when we move. 

    Of course, everyone was thanked promptly for their lovely gift, even if we didn't really think the gift was in fact lovely. :-) 

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    In Response to Re: Gifts not from one's registry:
    [QUOTE]For the most part, the off registry gifts that we got were really nice, so we kept them.  For some returns, I had the receipts, so it wasn't a problem.  For other items that didn't have a receipt, if it was something Macy's carried, I tried to return it there.  I think I ended up getting the lowest price they sold that item at w/in acertain period of time, which was fine. It was better than asking someone  for a receipt. I could never ask a friend or relative for the receipt.  lol. I'd feel too guilty.   We did get some stuff from people that was just not our taste and that we have no use for.  Since we don't have a receipt, we are keeping it to either 'regift' later on [if we think someone will like it] or else donate when we move.  Of course, everyone was thanked promptly for their lovely gift, even if we didn't really think the gift was in fact lovely. :-) 
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly what I was going to say.  Macy's has (most) things and two of the things I got that were not on my registry I returned there.  The sales clerk said are you sure?? It was a $50 item that I got $13 for, I said yes please take it I don't have room for this in my house.   The Macy's return policy is kinda cr*ppy, but oh well.   We got things that were not on my registry mostly from older people, who don't even really know about registries and how they work, which we expected.  Nice thank yous were sent.   The funny thing was the older ladies at the shower raved about those gifts I returned saying they were their favorite. Yes that was because they were made for a 60 year old woman...  
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    Reader - a lot of people do not like to choose from registries, and others look at what you picked and think "what an awful pattern/ color" and won't give  a gift they do not like!

         The majority of gifts we received were off registry, and we loved them.  We tend to remember those gifts and who gave them, still (married OCT 06),  where we forget with registered for things, as though we bought them ourselves. I did not return anything except to exchange sheets the wrong size for either our bed or our guest beds. 
         I did swap with a recently married sister and cousin, giving away 3 of 9 varied size/ shape clear cut glass vases, and some duplicate candlesticks, and a few general serving pieces and tongs .  I have since kicked myself for doing so, primarily when we have had people over for buffets, extra tables set up throughout an indoor of outdoor party.  I have had to buy or borrow extra serving bowls and utensils, vases, candlesticks, more tablecloths!   Meanwhile, when I brought casseroles, serving plates and utensils to other people's homes (or cooked for a shower held at someone else's home)  I did not always get everything back. Or fine things I am (was) proud of got put in a dishwasher and chipped, or washed and shrunk  before the hostess returned then all nice and clean.   So the 6 piece matching handle utensils I really loved became 4, then 3; a couple of glass candleabra were broken;  beautiful damask tablecloths are still beautiful but 4 inches smaller, no longer fit the same table!  
         You might consider keeping a bunch of non-preferred items.  Use them when loss or breakage is high, like outdoor parties.  And keep your first choice matching sets intact.  Unless you have a really tiny place, and NO storage.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    Aside from the above - in addition to giving sincere and specific thanks in your thank you notes, there are people who will still ask about their gifts when then come to your house and you do not use them.  Be ready.  If you do keep things that do not match, put it nicely.
         The salad bowl set / utensils/ 8 extra candy and nut dishes are  the ones you use when you dine on the porch, they match your table settings there. Or their gift is nowpart of the  cookout and picnic set you keep packed in a basket  ready to pack in the car at a moments notice, what would you do without them.  Or they are the things you always like to show off when you bring your contribution to potluck or bake sales.
         You do not have to add, because if I lose anything, I want it to be what you gave me and not what I like!
         Thank people for their thoughtfulness and caring is selecting something for you, which really does matter more than the goods!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    If you're sure you'll never use a gift, or if you just don't like it, I'd say don't take up valuable space in your home with them.  Write a thank you note telling them how thoughtful and generous it was; you don't have to tell them you'll enjoy using it for years to come.  They can infer that from how thoughtful a present it was. :)

    I actually wrote a thank you note for a gift we hated so much we couldn't even regift it.  We tossed it out with the wedding gift boxes/packing trash the day after the wedding.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    Kar - I'm dying to know: what was the gift you tossed???
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from LilSprout. Show LilSprout's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    In Response to Re: Gifts not from one's registry:
    [QUOTE]If you're sure you'll never use a gift, or if you just don't like it, I'd say don't take up valuable space in your home with them.  Write a thank you note telling them how thoughtful and generous it was; you don't have to tell them you'll enjoy using it for years to come.  They can infer that from how thoughtful a present it was. :) I actually wrote a thank you note for a gift we hated so much we couldn't even regift it.  We tossed it out with the wedding gift boxes/packing trash the day after the wedding.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, Kar - what was the gift you tossed?! 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from preserves. Show preserves's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    I would be interested to know what you got?

    I got a few duplicates and things that were not on my registry..But 90% of the unregistered for gifts were useful  like dishtowels, and kitchen tools like  cute mini spatula (i'm a total geek i know). However I did get FOUR serving bowls. I live in a small apt. and there was no way I was keeping all four. I kept the two from my registry and the one my FMIL gave me but returned one that didn't match our stuff along with the duplicates. I still wrote a thank you for the unregistered and duplicates....for 99.99% of gifts give its the thought that counts and is appreciated
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    In Response to Re: Gifts not from one's registry:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gifts not from one's registry : Yeah, Kar - what was the gift you tossed?! 
    Posted by LilSprout[/QUOTE]

    It was the ugliest framed mirror I'd ever laid eyes on, a resin molded "bamboo" design; you could see where the pieces were glued together, too.  One would think she hated us and were giving us that to be spiteful, but it's not her way at all, and I know she thinks the world of me (us, now).   I'm sure she thought it was lovely.  We really did appreciate the thought and felt bad for the money she spent on it.  We would have been happy just to have had her at the wedding without any gift. 
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    We got a few gifts that weren't from our registries, but we love them all!  Most were just add-ons to other gifts, but some were really personal and heartfelt.  Honestly, it was nice being surprised, since I knew what had been purchased off the registries.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Gifts not from one's registry

    omg, the nerve of some people!  Imagine, getting someone a gift that wasn't on your registry.

    Of course you just send them a lovely thank you note.  If you don't want the gifts, donate them.  And of course you will keep the serving platter that your grandma gave you and use it when you have her over from dinner.  Otherwise, you will hurt her feelings and have major guilt pangs when she's dead! 
     

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