Honorary Bridesmaid

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from ozzfest160. Show ozzfest160's posts

    Honorary Bridesmaid

    Hi Everyone,

    So I am getting married next May 2012 on cape cod and one of my friends is getting married two weeks before me. She got engaged over Christmas 2010 and I got engaged April 2011 and my FI and I found a place we fell in love with. I knew going in having our weddings close may pose a problem, but we had to act fast plus we loved the place where we are having our reception and so i thought I would come across that bridge when it was time....

    We have the same group of friends and at the time I had thought of having her in my bridal party along with 4 mutual friends, 1 friend from college, and my FI sister. I got a call last week from my friend asking if we could mutually agree not to be in each others wedding because of cost and stress. I understand where she is coming from and agreed that we wouldn't be in each other's wedding, however, last night she asked our friends to be her bridesmaids and asked me to be an honorary bridesmaid...What does an honorary bridesmaid mean? I was just confused and taken back because we had agree not to be in each other's wedding.

    Do i ask her what does this mean to her and what she expects me to do? Do I now have to ask her to be an honorary bridesmaid or part of my wedding? I just feel this is a pity invite and I would have been sooo okay with just going to the wedding as a reg guest. ........It is a little more confusing and complicated than i am letting on, but that is the gist of everything.
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: Honorary Bridesmaid

    Ozz - my understanding is that honorary bridesmaids get to participate in the day (can go to hairdressed with others, get make up done, have lunch/brunch etc with the bride, goes for manis pedis if they like) but doesn't have to wear an ugly gown, walk down the aisle or be involved in awkward formal photo taking! Essentially, you get to do the fun stuff without the formal stuff.

    If you are more comfortable just being a guest, then I'd let her know that too (especially as even being 'honorary' there may still be some costs involved).

  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnjoyEverySandwich. Show EnjoyEverySandwich's posts

    Re: Honorary Bridesmaid

    You could maybe just ask her what she means by "honorary bridesmaid".  I think she just wants to keep you included in a more meaningful way than just as a guest, but ask her for what she sees the honorary title to mean.

    Since it was her idea to not be in each other's weddings, I am guessing she is not thinking of anything stressful at all -- after all, you're getting married after her and have the old quid pro quo at your disposal!  ;)

  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from koala. Show koala's posts

    Re: Honorary Bridesmaid

    Since she is your friend, why don't you just ask her what she means?  I think you should know what specifics you're agreeing to.

    Many years ago, I was asked to be an honorary bridesmaid in a friend's wedding.  She had a small wedding with just her sister and best friend as bridesmaids.  It turned out that my job was to drive everyone around and watch while they got their hair done/manicures, etc., go out and get them lunch, and stand at the back of the church and tell them when to walk down the aisle.  I'm sure my friend didn't mean to insult me, but that's how I felt.  I enjoyed the wedding much less than I would have if I had just been a guest.

    Hopefully this won't happen to you, but just ask!