How to honor non-bridesmaids?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    Maybe in the back of the order of service have something like "We thank our families for their support, especially name of mum, dad, brother, sisters etc".
    Not sure if you are having moms or grandparents walk down the aisle before you, but could they maybe escort them?  Ushers at the church, directing people where to sit/handing out orders of service/helping older/injured/prams up any steps.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    For what it's worth, I was really insulted to be the guestbook attendant at my sister's wedding.  I quite honestly would have been happier not doing anything.  Grown adults did not need a teenager handing them a pen and telling them to sign their names.  (Of course, since these are adults, I suppose that's slightly less of an issue).  Then there were my grandparents friends who wanted to stand around and chat for 20 minutes, so the people who wanted to sign the book couldn't.  Just put the book on a table and leave a handful of BICs next to it.  It'll be fine.

    I actually PREFERRED doing a reading at my first sister's wedding, and that will go down in history as one of the most traumatizing moments of my entire life.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    Little things to make them feel included, such as inviting them to the RD, to get ready with you, to go for mani/pedi, etc.  Include them in photos besides just the requisite family group shot.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    Would it be at all worthwhile to give them mini-bouquets or put them in coordinating dresses?  Maybe something that goes with the BM dresses, but isn't the same?  Or is that just confusing?
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from twinklie12. Show twinklie12's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    I actually sort of like the idea of asking them to help by handing out programs at the church maybe.  Also sort of a chore, I know, but maybe not as horrible as being a guestbook attendant, as this way you can see everyone coming in etc.?  And you're not forgoing drinks to do it!  haha.  I'd enjoy it but I know everyone is different. 

    I don't want to start dictating what they should wear, at this point (2 months away) they might already have gone dress shopping for the wedding I think.  I like the thought, but sort of too late I guess.

    They are most definitely invited to the rehearsal dinner (with guests!) but I love the idea of asking them to come get mani/pedis with all the girls the day before and get ready with us the day of the wedding.  They may decline and that's fine, but I think just offering is at least something. 

    Such good ideas, keep em coming!  :)
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    If you say something to thank people at the RD you could mention the girls names and how important to you & FI they are. 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from EosErigeneia. Show EosErigeneia's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    How lovely of you to expand the inclusiveness. 

    Neither sister would want to do a reading?  Neither separately nor together?  Have you asked them? 
    Also, I'd think twice about asking them to act as sous-ushers or escorts. They might see it as being treated as  handmaidens. (Funny how bridesmaids traditionally aren't called upon to do much of anything.) 

    I love the ideas of giving them special bouquets and having pictures taken with just them as well as including them in the mani/pedi ritual.

    Also ask if they'd each like a booklet of wedding pictures. 

    And try to make bloody sure the elder one catches the bouquet!

    Blessings...
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    My sister had me hand out the programs at the wedding.  I actually did enjoy it and I got to greet all the guests as they came in.  Made me feel special.

    Other than that, I'd say don't give them arbitrary jobs (like the guestbook, no!).  Just let them enjoy being guests at the wedding.

    Have they expressed unhappiness at not being included to anyone?  If not, I woudln't worry about it too much.

    Good luck!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    Step 1:  Ask them if they would like to participate.  Do not ASSUME that they would not want to do a reading.  Especially if the two of them could do it together.  Tell them it would mean so much to both of you to have them participate.

    If they choose not to, then do not make up a silly job for them.  Acknowledge them at the RD, in the program, give them corsages or single roses or whatever IF THEY WANT IT.

    Some people are just happier to be there without any fanfare.  If that's how they are, then the most loving thing you can do is accept it and do not embarrass them.

    Good for you for trying to include them, though.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kdw1003. Show kdw1003's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    I have three bridesmaids (my two sisters and FI's sister) and have asked four other girls to be "honorary" bridesmaids (one close cousin and three best friends from college).  I asked them to be honorary bridesmaids through handmade cards writing that I couldn't imaging going through my wedding without them being at the shower, bachelorette party and getting ready with me.  They are going to come to the hair salon in the morning and get ready with me at my mom's house the day of the wedding.  I still haven't decided if I will have them do a reading or just let them relax with their dates.

    However, I'm glad they know I want them to be involved in my wedding but not have to buy a dress, plan a shower, etc....although I'm sure they would be more than happy to do so if I asked.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    Why do they need a job?  Just get them corsages. 
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    I'm with cos - you're assuming they wouldn't want to do readings, but you might be mistaken.  That's the only "job" that's really an honor.  Handing out programs and being the guest book attendant is awful.  I, like lucy, was the guest book attendant at my step-brother's wedding, and it felt exactly like what it was, a second rate "honor" that I really didn't want.  No one knows that, though, because I know their hearts were in the right place, and I appreciate that.  I felt ridiculous, though, like everyone was secretly pitying the step-sister stuck at the book.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    kar, I totally agree with you, and the Sex and the City episode with Miranda as guest-book attendant has now confirmed that it's a pity-job! 

    A plain vanilla guest book is totally useless anyway. 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from MM379. Show MM379's posts

    Re: How to honor non-bridesmaids?

    Twinkle, any chance the ceremony is a Catholic Mass?  Not assuming it is, but if by chance it happens to be, there is also the portion when the "gifts" (host, wine, etc) are brought up to the alter.  This was an honor that some very close but shy cousins were thrilled to do in our wedding and it worked out great.  They had a special, noticed role in the Mass, but it didn't involve speaking.  Between the gifts, the prayers of the faithful, and the two readings, all 5 of DHs and my first cousins were in our ceremony when we didnt' get to include any of them in the bridal party.
     

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