I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    OK, not really, but I would if I didn't know how to bite my tongue.  Does anyone else find that it's hard to turn it off now that you know all these "rules"? 

    I went to a shower for a friend's fiance this weekend and I was SO annoyed because she didn't even open the cards.  It was a small shower, so it wasn't like she was rushing to open 60 presents.  I had to say, "Hey Suzie - that one's from me."  Then I received a mass email thanking us for coming and for the presents, so I guess I shouldn't hold my breathe for a thank you note.

    Please know that I realize you shouldn't sweat the small stuff.  It's just one of those days/weeks where stupid stuff is getting to me.  Had to vent!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    I can't imagine going through this process and NOT being completely aware of ettiquette. But, it happens, a lot, and it is really hard to bite  your tongue.

    You know I have never received a thank-you card from ANY of my friends who I've been to showers or weddings recently? (except one) Not even my brother and SIL and I paid $150 for her hair and makeup as a gift.

    A mass email though? How sad.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    The worst part is, you know they're not knowingly violating etiquette, they just don't know any better. It makes the desire to correct even stronger!

    But I know I used to not know any better, and I definately know it's far worse to correct someone.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    Ohh, I'm totally That Girl now (but only inside my head). My officemate was telling me about a wedding he's in next month. Apparently this is their third "wedding." They eloped to Brazil (bride's home), then had a second small thing in Brazil with her family, and now they're doing a US vow renewal (complete with white dress, attendants, cake, etc).

    I bit my tongue, but my officemate said, "It's weird, but he's my friend, so whatever."

    Speaking of "the rules," has anyone been on the WC lately? That place is now the knot 2.0.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from booklover. Show booklover's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    Yeah, I've been on the WC recently and if I see one more post that says "but it's MY DAY and I can do whatever the heck I want" I will scream.  Spoiled brats.  And the wedding industry feeds right into it.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    [QUOTE]I can't imagine going through this process and NOT being completely aware of ettiquette. But, it happens, a lot, and it is really hard to bite  your tongue. You know I have never received a thank-you card from ANY of my friends who I've been to showers or weddings recently? (except one) Not even my brother and SIL and I paid $150 for her hair and makeup as a gift. A mass email though? How sad.
    Posted by amschnittger[/QUOTE]

    A mass e-mail thanking everyone?  That's beyond poor etiquette!  That's flat out thoughtless!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    WHAT???? that is the most tackiest thing I have ever heard! I don't care if you have 500 people at your shower/wedding, etc and your hands are going to fall off, you write a Thank You note to every single person who gave you a gift/attended. Maybe that is just how my mother raised me, but I believe that is how it is supposed to be done. I have a friend who is so unbelievably good at this. She is very well "trained" I always say. I receive Thank You notes from her all the time, everything from her Shower, B-party, Wedding, B-day gifts, she even sent me a Thank You note for attending her grad school graduation party. It's just what you do. No mass emails...ugh so tacky.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    She also asked if it was OK to send a photo out as the thank you for the wedding, as in a photo that says "thank you" at the bottom and that's it.  I said not really because the point is to actually thank people for what they gave you.  I said some people won't think anything of it, but other people will be offended that you aren't actually thanking them at all.  I would be willing to bet money that she does it anyway.  Don't bother asking people if something is rude if you're going to do it anyway!!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    I guess it is ok to send those photo thank you's to wedding guests, esp if you have a large wedding. I don't exactly know the etiquette on that one. I have received a few of those, the ones with the bride and groom holding the Thank You signs, and just a simple generic message "Thank you for sharing our special day with us." That is not as special as writing an individual thank you note to each guest, but they seem to really "in" nowadays.

    What do others think?
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    I don't know about everyone else, but if I don't thank people for their exact gift, I wouldn't feel right.  My fiance and I wrote out thank you's to everyone who attended/gave a gift/sent a gift for our shower.  My fiance even went above that and wrote little jokes to each guest, as well.  He's funny and great that way. 

    It's so important to be appreciative.  I don't even know if it's purely wedding etiquette, but common sense and courtesy.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    Talk about totally missing the point of a thank you note! Like the reason why people want it is the note itself! It's almost funny!

    [QUOTE]She also asked if it was OK to send a photo out as the thank you for the wedding, as in a photo that says "thank you" at the bottom and that's it.  I said not really because the point is to actually thank people for what they gave you.  I said some people won't think anything of it, but other people will be offended that you aren't actually thanking them at all.  I would be willing to bet money that she does it anyway.  Don't bother asking people if something is rude if you're going to do it anyway!!
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    Stuff like this irritates me, because I *hate* writing thank you notes, and I have a valid medical reason not to, but I still send them when appropriate.  Granted, I have redefined "when appropriate" to mean "when I receive a gift from my SO's mother."  Everyone else gets an email, but they understand.

    As for the photo, I think that's fine - if you want to enclose one in the envelope with the handwritten thank you note.  I can't believe anyone would be self-centered enough to think that a picture of them, without more, is an adequate thank you.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    I understand why people think the photo thank yous are cute and "in", but seriously get over yourself.  Sending a photo of yourself does not replace a thank you!  People aren't going to think, Who cares if they didn't thank us for that $300 dollar gift!  At least we got a cute picture of them!
    Writing a sincere message on the back/bottom would make all the difference.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    [QUOTE]I understand why people think the photo thank yous are cute and "in", but seriously get over yourself.  Sending a photo of yourself does not replace a thank you!  People aren't going to think, Who cares if they didn't thank us for that $300 dollar gift!  At least we got a cute picture of them! Writing a sincere message on the back/bottom would make all the difference.
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    Haha Fra, I totally agree. I can assume you and DH were not one of those couples?
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    I hate those photo thank you notes.  Um, we know what you look like.  I'd rather get a handwritten note from you on lined paper than a photo of you that says "Thanks" that I feel obliged to hang on my fridge for a few months b/c I know they weren't cheap.  Then again, I hate getting photo Christmas cards too b/c I feel obliged to keep them when I really just want to throw them away come Jan 5. Argh. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    I've been a monster my whole life.  My mom shared all her inner dialogue of disappproval of the whole world from everyone's poor grammar to lack of "common" etiquette.  So, now that dialogue plays incessantly in my brain.  I know the rules and it bugs me when they aren't followed.  How I don't have high blood pressure I don't know. 
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    I think it is rude, It is like people EXPECT showers / gifts at the wedding, etc, and seem to forget that it is a gift, not a requirement and that people need to be thanked for thinking of them and getting them something no matter how big or small. I seriously believe alot of couples think that when they get engaged, making a registry and having a shower is a right. It is so not. All sense of appreciation seems to be lost.


    I also hate the photo thank you cards. I hate emailed thank yous too. Like oh sorry, I was good enough to put thought into picking something for you, wrapping it, spending  a few hours of my day to give it to you and sit around while you opened it, and all you can do is take 20 seconds of your time to write a mass email thank you? Rude.

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    I'm so sad to see that more and more people are using photo thank you cards or pre-printed cards.  And thank you emails?  Ugh.

    I think we can all agree that it's such a great feeling to receive a personal, heartfelt thank you card from someone.  It really does wonders.  Even if it's just a couple of sentences written in the card, it makes my day when I get one.  Sure, it may be a pain to write out dozens of thank you cards, but it's so worth it.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    I was in a bit of a tizzy last night!  Those thank you photos are cute, but they need to include an actual thank you note on them.  That's all I was trying to say :o)
    But I agree ALF - they just lead to a dilemma over when is too soon to take them off the fridge and pile them in a drawer... and when is too soon to clean out the drawer and throw them away!  I still have a pile of photo Christmas cards.
    OMG I can't wait to clean out my drawers!  (No, not those drawers!)  My house is in serious need of organizing.  I think we're going to have a yard sale this summer.  For some reason, I always wanted to have one when I was a kid!  It was like my dream!  Probably because my house was so cluttered... :o)
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    If it were a picture that left a lot of room at the bottom for a personalized note thanking people, then that would be fine.  But, sending a picture that just says, "Thanks, Love Jane and Joe", is totally inappropriate.  People spent time and money shopping for you, and you couldn't be bothered to take 5 minutes to write out a note thanking them?  Wrong!
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    Agreed
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    [QUOTE]I was in a bit of a tizzy last night!  Those thank you photos are cute, but they need to include an actual thank you note on them.  That's all I was trying to say :o) But I agree ALF - they just lead to a dilemma over when is too soon to take them off the fridge and pile them in a drawer... and when is too soon to clean out the drawer and throw them away!  I still have a pile of photo Christmas cards. OMG I can't wait to clean out my drawers!  (No, not those drawers!)  My house is in serious need of organizing.  I think we're going to have a yard sale this summer.  For some reason, I always wanted to have one when I was a kid!  It was like my dream!  Probably because my house was so cluttered... :o)
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    Not to hijack, but if you have a yard sale and are willing to do some extra work, I know how to make TONS more money than usual.  I learned this tip on a "newsy" morning show from a yard sale expert (who knew those existed?), tried it out myself, and it totally worked. 

    She said to not put any prices on stuff.  Nothin'.  The idea is that it's junk to you so you'll vastly undervalue it, and it's treasure to others so they are likey to overvalue it.  Yes, people expect to pay peanuts at a yard sale, but I swear it worked.  I was going to put 10 cents on a Boggle game I'd had for 20 years, but I figured I'd give her advice a try.  A guy gave me 10 dollars!!  Another item was a trinket bracelet I'd have put 25 cents on, and a student offered me $5 for it.  Bottom line, I made about $40 on stuff I would have marked for a total of $3.00 (it was a community sale so I only had a few items).  Here was my dialogue:

    Customer:  How much is this?
    Kargiver:  How much do you think is fair?
    Customer:  How about _________ (some amount almost impossible to believe they offered)
    Kargiver:  If you believe that's fair and what you feel comfortable paying, that's what I'll take.

    I cleaned up.  There was only one person that insisted I give them a price.

    ~kar
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    Kar, that is SO smart.  I never thought of doing that.  My FI and I are thinking of doing a yard sale soon, so those tips are fantastic!
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    Thanks for the tip, Kar!
    I thought we'd hand down some of our old houseware, etc.  (dishes, coffee maker, pans), but now my brother and his brother have both moved out and proposed, so they won't need any of our junk!  They either bought it or they'll have their own showers soon enough.
    Whatever doesn't sell, I am going to post on Freecycle.com.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: I've turned into an etiquette monster!!!

    That would totally p*ss me off. Etiquette has totally gone out the door.  I "read" all the cards I got for my shower, I was so overwhelmed that I kinda skimmed over the words in the card (you know those pre written Halmark cards with all the cheesy words) and read who it was from.  I even felt bad doing that!  

    You also know when etiquette has gone out the door when you get a thank you for a thank you note!  My mom told me her friend complimented me on my thank you for the shower because it was a. right after the shower and b. thanking her directly for the gift she gave and spoke about how I would use it.    I was surprised by this reaction..doesn't everyone send a thank you like this?!   I wouldn't bother sending thank yous if I was going to say Thank you for your gift.   Or worse a a thank you that has been printed out on the computer! 
     
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