new to board - wedding guest dilemma

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from clocktower1. Show clocktower1's posts

    new to board - wedding guest dilemma

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  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    All I can say is that weddings are expensive.  Sounds like this B&G and families are thinking of cutting costs by having it on a Friday as opposed to a weekend day. 

    Perhaps you could skip the ceremony, and just go to the reception if you're worried about taking time off from work.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Wait? You just got invited now? To a wedding this Friday?
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    People often book a wedding on Friday or Sunday to save money.  The bride and groom did what they had to do, now I say you do what you have to do.  If you have to miss the ceremony, so be it.  They won't even notice unless a ton of people do it.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Either go if you can and want to, or don't go if you can't.  I'm not sure what dilemma you expect us to weigh in on here.  There are frequently about 1 million considerations to juggle when choosing a ceremony and reception time (e.g. are they Jewish?  If so, they may need the ceremony to end before sundown on Friday.)  It wasn't planned for your convenience.  I'm sure they will understand if you can't make it, so figure out what is reasonable for you to do, and then make your choice.

    And yes, a lot of people take off time from work to attend weddings.  Whether it works for you will depend on how well you know the bride and groom and how flexible your job is.


     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ilovebeagles. Show ilovebeagles's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Friday night weddings are increasingly common.
    I went to one at 5 pm on a Friday in Rhode Island.

    Yes, I took the whole day off from work. My husband took a half day and I picked him up on our way. It was a good friend who couldnt meet the minimum guest count for a Saturday night. She asked us, and we unanimously said Friday over Sunday.

    Dont go, it obviously isnt a really good friend if you cant even take a half day of work to go.
    Saturday night weddings monopolize your whole weekend, in my opinion anyways, between preparing to go, drycleaning/ironing, getting gifts together, and driving and then recovering! at least this way I get out of work for a while!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    If this is causing a major dilemma for you, you may just have to send your regrets.  When is the wedding?  If you have enough notice and have a few vacation hours and want to go to the wedding, I'm sure they'd be thrilled to have you there.  However, my guess is that they are very aware that they may get many regrets.  I'm sure, like other posters, that they have their reasons for scheduling their wedding then.  You have to decide if the inconveniences outweigh the affection you have for the B&G.  I've gone through lots of sh*t to attend weddings of people I've loved and have never regretted it.  However, if I didn't love the B&G, I wouldn't bother.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I've heard a lot of huffs and puffs on these boards about Sunday weddings, too.  I think some people have a problem, regardless.  Whether they can't take time off work to attend a Friday wedding.  Saturday day/night weddings take up their whole weekend.  And, Sunday wedding, well... people have to work the next day.  My feeling is if you wholeheartedly feel you cannot and will not make a compromise/sacrifice to attend someone's wedding, then don't complain about what they've chosen to do.  Just send your regrets.  It's up to them as far as what they choose to do with picking the date, the venue, the food, the music, etc.  If you don't like it, you don't have to go.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Ohh ok, I read it wrong. Sorry, but the B&G have every right to have a Friday wedding. If you can't go then don't. But don't complain about it. It is not major stress. It is one day. But that is just my opinion. If I LOVED the B&G like you say you do, then I wouldn't find this a big deal at all.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I don't see the big deal.  It's not like the wedding is Friday at 4 in upstate NY.  If you really want to go, take 2 hours off work, or see if you can work extra hours Mon-Thurs.  If you don't really want to go, don't go.  It's an invitation, not a summons.  You are not required to attend.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Hi Clocktower,

    Yes, Friday weddings are becoming more common.  But I'm sure the bride and groom are aware that it is less convenient than a weekend, and will understand if people cannot take the time off from work.  So if you and your family can't get the time off, just send your regrets.

    A close friend of mine got married on a Friday afternoon, and FI and I took the day off.  We couldn't imagine missing their wedding!  And it was a beautiful start to the weekend.

    Regarding traffic, depending on where you are coming from, if you plan to be at the ceremony site by 3:30 pm (for a 4 PM wedding), you should miss most of the evening traffic up 128.  Then, at say 5 PM when you drive into Boston for the reception, you will be going opposite the traffic, so hopefully it won't be too bad.

    Good luck with your decision.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Hi Clocktower, Yes, Friday weddings are becoming more common.  But I'm sure the bride and groom are aware that it is less convenient than a weekend, and will understand if people cannot take the time off from work.  So if you and your family can't get the time off, just send your regrets. A close friend of mine got married on a Friday afternoon, and FI and I took the day off.  We couldn't imagine missing their wedding!  And it was a beautiful start to the weekend. Regarding traffic, depending on where you are coming from, if you plan to be at the ceremony site by 3:30 pm (for a 4 PM wedding), you should miss most of the evening traffic up 128.  Then, at say 5 PM when you drive into Boston for the reception, you will be going opposite the traffic, so hopefully it won't be too bad. Good luck with your decision.
    Posted by trex509[/QUOTE]


    Another great point, trex!  The traffic won't be as bad, and will be going in the opposite direction.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I completely understand why people have Friday weddings but it does seem like maybe there is something else going on in this situation. The ceremony is rather early and the ceremony and reception locations are not near each other. Perhaps there is some reason (the locations are special to them, they could not have it at other times, etc.), but it makes me wonder if they are trying to have a more private ceremony? I know some couples that did that without specifically stating it.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Every couple has every right to do whatever they want on their wedding day. My feelings would be really hurt if I knew someone was saying " My friends Friday wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but they are just making it stressful." No, they are doing what they want on their day, and that is totally acceptable. Traffic is not going to be that bad, I sit in traffic EVERY day to get home from work, I would much rather sit in traffic to go to a friends wedding, than to just go home with no plans. I don't understand why you feel hijacked? I mean, I am not trying to be a b*tch here, but this isn't about you, it is about them...sorry.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from miss-cellaneousJones. Show miss-cellaneousJones's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Regarding Friday, Sunday and Holiday weekend weddings...IMO the bride and groom should expect several invite declines due to the complete and shameless "inconvenience" factor. I attended a 4:00 Friday evening wedding on the cape last summer and yes traffic wasn't great (although not terrible). DH and I took the entire day of work off, drove down and checked into our hotel in advance just to make sure that we did not miss the ceremony. Bride is a dear friend of mine and we knew about the wedding way in advance, and therefore, never thought of not attending. If I were the poster I would put myself in the bride's shoes and ponder this thought...(would I be sadly dissapointed if "Ms. Inconvenienced" missed my wedding?) If the answer is YES, then try to do your best to make it. The B&G chose to have their wedding on a Friday, now you have the choice to decline attending it for any reason.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma : Your tone is B*tchy.  Thank you.  I'm a loving relative who is stressed trying to please my darling relative, but they have made this stressful for us to attend.  I don't want her to have an empty church either.  I feel hijacked because I will have to make an uncomfortable choice, whether I go or arrive late to the reception.  I guess this wasn't the forum to ask the question.  I withdraw.  Peace all.
    Posted by clocktower1[/QUOTE]

    PEACE!!!!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Regarding Friday, Sunday and Holiday weekend weddings...IMO the bride and groom should expect several invite declines due to the complete and shameless "inconvenience" factor. I attended a 4:00 Friday evening wedding on the cape last summer and yes traffic wasn't great (although not terrible). DH and I took the entire day of work off, drove down and checked into our hotel in advance just to make sure that we did not miss the ceremony. Bride is a dear friend of mine and we knew about the wedding way in advance, and therefore, never thought of not attending. If I were the poster I would put myself in the bride's shoes and ponder this thought...(would I be sadly dissapointed if "Ms. Inconvenienced" missed my wedding?) If the answer is YES, then try to do your best to make it. The B&G chose to have their wedding on a Friday, now you have the choice to decline attending it for any reason.
    Posted by miss-cellaneousJones[/QUOTE]
    Well said, Miss :)
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Every couple has every right to do whatever they want on their wedding day. My feelings would be really hurt if I knew someone was saying " My friends Friday wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but they are just making it stressful." No, they are doing what they want on their day, and that is totally acceptable. Traffic is not going to be that bad, I sit in traffic EVERY day to get home from work, I would much rather sit in traffic to go to a friends wedding, than to just go home with no plans. I don't understand why you feel hijacked? I mean, I am not trying to be a b*tch here, but this isn't about you, it is about them...sorry.
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree with you, sept.  That's just what they chose to do.  Now, it's up to the guests to accept or decline the invitation.  When it comes down to it, it might not make sense why the B&G made the choices they made TO YOU, but it makes sense to them. 

    My wedding's on a Sunday, and we're getting all our replies back as "YES" so far.  If someone can't come, then that's their choice.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    All of this wedding drama seriously makes me want to elope. Why does one day have to cause so much drama? It's ONE DAY. One day of someone's life. Clock is complaining because she will have to take a half day? I mean, sorry, you got the invite, you have plenty of time to plan out your day. I'm just to sick of the drama and complaining that comes along with weddings.

    I'm going to book my tickets to Vegas right now.....
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I think that Clocktower was just looking for a place to vent and hoping that we'd agree that the B&G are being horribly selfish to have their wedding on a Friday.  Unfortunately, that's not the case.  I love weddings!  So I don't mind at all taking a day off to go to one.  But then, I have maybe one a year, so it isn't a big deal.  It is just 1 vacation day?  And for a family member?  I'm surprised that she is so put off by it.

    ETA:  and if it is a wedding of 200 people, maybe a few won't make it, but I doubt the church will be empty.  And choice of location?  Really hard to find a place that 200 people can get to without someone hitting traffic.  Saving 20%?  That's a BIG deal for your budget.  Yes, it is hard to make all your guests happy I guess. 
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Thank you Trex...you said it perfectly. The church will NOT be empty. And in an ecomony like this 20% goes a long way. I really really wanted to get married on 10/10/10, but my FI was all afraid of people getting upset about it being a Sunday, although I think that is Columbus Day weekend. If it were up to me I would have done it then, and if you can't make it, than fine.


     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I'm all for Friday weddings (my sister had one, it was lovely), but this timing just blows.  If you're going to have a wedding during rush hour traffic on a Friday, at least have the ceremony and reception at the same location.  Even the same town would have been better than this.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Ok, this is a little OT...would people be more likely to reply "no" to a Friday wedding or a Sunday wedding?
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Wow.  I say forget it and retract the question, and you "ladies" have to continue to bash me.  Can't you end it?  Taking a day off from work is stressful in the healthcare industry.  I guess you can only see your perspective.  I didn't come here to "vent and hope you would agree" I also didn't come here to get personally attacked.  I came for your perspective on what a bride would think if she knew it was stressful.  I guess I got my answer.  I can see why the Boston boards are dying - you people are vipers.
    Posted by clocktower1[/QUOTE]

    Clocktower, usually the bride and groom know when they are doing something that may be a bit of an inconvenience for people. My sister had to do a similar thing and felt bad if people were "put out" because of it. They probably expect a smaller showing at the ceremony because of the timing. 

    Maybe you should consider the cost of hosting a wedding. The discounts on off days are HUGE, especially when you are having that many people. If 20% = $25pp, that's $5,000 alone. Sorry if you feel like you are being attacked, but I guess not everyone agrees with your point.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Thank you Trex...you said it perfectly. The church will NOT be empty. And in an ecomony like this 20% goes a long way. I really really wanted to get married on 10/10/10, but my FI was all afraid of people getting upset about it being a Sunday, although I think that is Columbus Day weekend. If it were up to me I would have done it then, and if you can't make it, than fine.
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]

    That's when I'm having mine this year.  A lot of people have Columbus Day off from work. 
     
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