Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma
posted at 8/29/2009 11:50 PM EDT
In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma
[QUOTE] "On the bright side, clocktower or whoever has certainly faded into history. You know, the one who started the thread and erased himself?" Wow, that's cold. You guys rip each other apart and then scare off a newby. I read a lot, and rarely post. This is why.
Posted by springandsummer[/QUOTE]
Very often when posts start with a single question, then end with a hunded morw posts on various other topics, people say, I hope the OP does not think we had no interest in the OP, and may refer to the fact that everyone pretty much presented every view on the subject, or that the poster stopped responding long before things went off topic.
So after reading a few posts pointing out how far afield the 220 or so posts had gone, I was thinking:
"On the bright side, clocktower or whoever has certainly faded into history.
You know, the one who started the thread and erased himself?"
That is, that in the just under hour and a half he/she was here (I thought he, since I was reading every post as it came in until the poster left) there were no negative posts to chase a person away, and no off topic ones.
The OP left for his own reasons. Which I find okay - some people are not treated badly, but when they do not hear what they want, agreement, they absent themselves.
People went out of their way to say, they were sympathetic with how hard it is to attend a wedding that conflicts with a work schedule. When he said he as a health care professional could not take off work, people said (honestly and realisticly, nothing mean ) that he could choose either to decline or arrive late but still in time for much of the reception. Traffic would not be too bad, etc.
What OP made clear in 2 posts that he wanted, was approval for his idea to call his "darling relative" the bride, now that the invitation arrived with this awful 4 pm Friday time, and ask her to delay the wedding until 7pm or later when he could be there, or just reschedule the wedding around him.
Now about quarter of 2, people did not scream or say ha was expecting too much, or anything bad. They just pointed out that any time chosen would be a problem for somebody if thay had a couple hundred guests, and whatever choices the couple made for what they knew of guest's schedules, and also the reduced costs of a Friday eve wedding, they were not likely to change.
This is when OP got huffy, said he detected a bitchy tone (not there, read posts up to 1:50 pm. from the starting point.) and erased posts.
No one I ever heard of would change a wedding after the invitations went out, for 1 person not immediate family, around a work schedule. No one was harsh, or nasty.Springandsummer- when you wrote"Wow, that's cold. You guys rip each other apart and then scare off a newby." You put a completely different meaning on what I posted than I ever would have dreamed of (you could have asked, what do you mean , saying it is good he left ?) if you were being open and nice yourself.
You completely made up the business about people ripping each other apart and scaring off a newby, since there was not 1 single negative (or off topic) post until after he left, erasing all posts, shortly before 2 pm.
You insulted everyone by assuming the absolute worst, with no basis at all in fact. Doesn't that make you the less than pleasant poster?
Just out of curiosity, if someone asked you directly to support a plan to call up a bride whose wedding had been planned for months, invitations sent out, and ask a couple weeks before the wedding if she would reschedule the start from 4 pm to 7pm or later - would you have said, what a fine idea? Really?
That is what he wanted to hear, he made it quite clear.
He chose to erase himself when his repeated posts did not get that answer.