new to board - wedding guest dilemma

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    can we please not get into this?

    You can't always get what you want. You can't always have a Saturday wedding. There are lots of reasons, and I'm sure that few of them are "As a little girl I dreamed of a Friday afternoon wedding! That's my dream, and that's how it will be!"
    There's schedules, money, and popular venues already being booked every Saturday in the summer for two years.

    If you don't like it or can't make it, then send your regrets. If that causes you emotional distress, I'm sorry. But don't act like it's something being done to you. That's just not the way it is.

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Sorry, but I don't like Fri, Sun, or holiday weekend weddings.  I understand it's the "B&G's" day, but I wouldn't want to put out my 200+ friends, I find it selfish.
    Posted by princess-cal[/QUOTE]
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    See!  If Clocktower hadn't freaked out, deleted everything, and called us names she would have found people to empathize with her!!

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Sorry, but I don't like Fri, Sun, or holiday weekend weddings.  I understand it's the "B&G's" day, but I wouldn't want to put out my 200+ friends, I find it selfish.
    Posted by princess-cal[/QUOTE]
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma : I just tried to leave you a personal message, but I must be a "personal friend" to do that.  So - yes, I've deleted all my posts because I am done with this.  I was never snarky about my relative - I lamented that this was a horrible situation to be put into.  I asked for bridal perspective - but I did neglect to tell everyone that the day was chosen by the bride to save her mother money.  no harm was meant.  I did speak to MOB (very close family member) asking her to reconsider a year ago.  She didn't want to upset her daughter, and because I thought it was a 6pm wedding, I let it go too.  I only found out about 4pm yesterday, it's not a common topic, we talk about the shower, the wedding the honeymoon, the flowers, not the actually time.  Also, Bride's sister had a 6pm Friday wedding, locally so I assumed it would not be a problem. I planned to wear business attire and go straight from work.  There, now everyone knows.  Loving family, everyone trying to take care of everyone else's feelings, I am just distraught that I cannot see a way to get to the ceremony on time.  This was the wrong forum to ask for bridal perspective.  I did get attacked.  I won't upset the bride, what is done is done.  A year ago I should have asked the time.  We set our vacation schedules in January where I work (healthcare, remember????) so I don't have a lot of flexibility even two months out.  The teachers in the family have ZERO flexibility - they will be late.  Period.  Bride is adorable but caught up in her own plans.  MOB wishes she knew last year that the time was a problem, and I wish I had discussed it then.  As for insults, I agreed with Sept2010 that her tone was b*tchy (her word).  I did call many here vipers for their snarky responses, and said I was done with this board in the same breath.  I called somebody heartless for saying I should pay 20% for the wedding.  I've been told I'm unimportant, self centered, whiney and more than I can remember...this is not a healthy environment for a civil exchange.  In 10 minutes I will delete this too.  I just cannot believe how words get twisted and jumped on here.
    Posted by clocktower1[/QUOTE]

    No one said you were unimportant. We said talk to the bride. No one said "whiney." You're interjecting words into what you perceived to be an attack.

    Once a date is set and deposits are made, it can be very difficult to change a date. They may have also told other people what the date was--after spreading the word, it's even more difficult to change the date.

    North Shore to Boston is really obnoxious; I didn't see that because the posts were taken down.

    I don't understand how this got so heated.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    North Shore to Boston is a PITA. Hopefully most traffic will be going in the other direction.

    Clocky- by deleting your posts you have made it almost impossible for anyone to understand what's been said. If I'd seen that it was North Shore to Boston, I would have been more understanding. A Friday afternoon wedding with a trek sure to be filled with traffic from the evening commute is clearly something that wasn't thought through when it was planned.
    I've seen many people be warned against such plans on these boards.

    But I didn't see that. All I saw was people defending themselves after being called names and listing reasons why someone might pick a Friday wedding.

    You're only hurting your argument by deleting your posts.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Being a bride myself with an upcoming wedding, I have heard it all.  I have heard the snickering remarks, the behind the back chatter, all of it.  It's unfortunate.  Trust me when I say that I am 100% positive that some people may have a problem with my Sunday (day after is a holiday) wedding.  But, you know what, that's their problem.  It's important that all our invitees be in attendance for our wedding, but I will CERTAINLY understand if someone cannot attend because of some varying excuse. 

    This isn't just any party, my friends.  This is a wedding!  That being said, if someone called and asked me to change my wedding date... I won't even get into it, but there would be some angry laughter in there.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Heather:  Haha, you are awesome!

    As for Saturdays:  yeah there are what, 52 a year?  And most people don't want to get married in the winter, so you get maybe 30 good ones a year?  And *everyone* is supposed to fight for those 30 days?  And that's why venues charge an arm and leg for them.  Pretty much everything is cheaper if you do it on an off day. 

    And really, Clocktower knows that the bride chose Friday to save her parents money.  Isn't that a nice thing?  I wonder if MOB is actually happy to have it on a friday... it is probably saving her thousands of dollars.

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]See!  If Clocktower hadn't freaked out, deleted everything, and called us names she would have found people to empathize with her!! In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma :
    Posted by heatherv1211[/QUOTE]
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    North Shore to Boston in rush hour traffic is a royal PITA.  It is not a reverse commute. It is going to be brutal, esp if you have to deal w/ a location after the 128 split.  I hope they have a 2 hour delay between the end of the ceremony and the reception b/c EVERYONE is going to be late.  I am from the North Shore and drove that route many, many times.  If this is during the summer time [when people are still going to the Cape or NH/Maine] it's going to be even more brutal. 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    See? I think everyone can agree with that.
    It's too bad Clock deleted the post so that those of use who came into it late had no idea what was going on.

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]North Shore to Boston in rush hour traffic is a royal PITA.  It is not a reverse commute. It is going to be brutal, esp if you have to deal w/ a location after the 128 split.  I hope they have a 2 hour delay between the end of the ceremony and the reception b/c EVERYONE is going to be late.  I am from the North Shore and drove that route many, many times.  If this is during the summer time [when people are still going to the Cape or NH/Maine] it's going to be even more brutal. 
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I am from the North Shore, too, and driving to/from Boston is annoying.  I completely understand those worries.  When it comes down to it, having a Friday wedding is WAY cheaper than a Saturday wedding.  Especially in a venue (most venues) in Boston. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]If we had a vote on here as to who would be queen, I'd just leave. And I wouldn't threaten to leave just to get attention, either. I'd just do it. In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma :
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    Obviously, I would win though...right? Laughing
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]I really really wanted to get married on 10/10/10, but my FI was all afraid of people getting upset about it being a Sunday, although I think that is Columbus Day weekend.
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]

    I really, really want to get married on 9/02/10.  So, he needs to hurry up and  propose so we can plan the wedding...
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE] and to think I had been sad that activity had quieted on these boards!
    Posted by heatherv1211[/QUOTE]

    I was sad that activity had been quiet, and then there is a huge flurry of activity, and .... I had a busy day at work and missed the whole thing!  Yell
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Why 9/2/10?  Is it a special day?  Isn't it a Thursday?

    I also noticed that 9/11/2010 is a Saturday.  Would people think it was weird to get married that day due to 9/11?  Just curious.

    I was sad the boards have been slow too, but this thread was kind of a nasty one, so don't worry about missing it.

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma : I really, really want to get married on 9/02/10.  So, he needs to hurry up and  propose so we can plan the wedding...
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Why 9/2/10?  Is it a special day?  Isn't it a Thursday? I also noticed that 9/11/2010 is a Saturday.  Would people think it was weird to get married that day due to 9/11?  Just curious. I was sad the boards have been slow too, but this thread was kind of a nasty one, so don't worry about missing it. In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma :
    Posted by trex509[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I heard from someone that venues were selling 9/11/10 at a discount.  I can totally understand.  I wouldn't want that anniversary either!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I have been wondering that for awhile, the whole 9/11 thing. And watch, people will FLIP out and get all offended if they are invited to a wedding on 9/11. I personally would not want to get married on that day, but wouldn't not go to a wedding on 9/11. It would be something to celebrate on such a sad day, IMO.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma : I really, really want to get married on 9/02/10.  So, he needs to hurry up and  propose so we can plan the wedding...
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    I.will.be.there!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Heather:  Haha, you are awesome! Posted by trex509[/QUOTE]

    Thank you, Trex!  I would say the same about you!  Now I feel better about the mean Heathers stereotype AB threw out there... I've been fighting against that my whole life!  AND i'm blonde which is even WORSE!

    And it took me a second to get Lucy's wedding date... 90210!!  LOL!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Why 9/2/10?  Is it a special day?  Isn't it a Thursday? I also noticed that 9/11/2010 is a Saturday.  Would people think it was weird to get married that day due to 9/11?  Just curious.
    Posted by trex509[/QUOTE]

    Not 9/2/10.  9-02-10.  The 0 is key, especially because my SO and I share a love of Tiffani Amber-Thiessen.  ;)

    And I would not feel comfortable getting married on September 11 of any year.  When it's on a Sunday in 2011, that would be worse, as it would be the ten year anniversay.  I also, for the record, would not get married on December 7, and that's a much older wound.

    And, Liz, you better be there.  Maybe I'll have all the guests dress up as their favorite character. 
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma : Obviously, I would win though...right?
    Posted by amschnittger[/QUOTE]

    lol :D
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Lucy, Dec. 7 is also Larry Bird's birthday, which is worthy of celebration!  :)

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    yea, but it's also the bombing of Pearl Harbor day
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Yes, and I wasn't disrespecting that.  My point was just that a date is a date, and both good and bad things happen on any given date. 

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    ohhhh... 90210... I get it now!  A little slow on the uptake, sorry!

    For the 9/11/2010, cosmo, I agree with you that a date is a date and having a wedding on that day is kind of a way to make something happy out of somethign sad.  However, I probably still wouldn't do it.  I kind of want a Sat in Sept 2010 wedding, so I'm bummed that this one is out.  I wish the Sat was the 13th, that's my lucky number.  :)

    Heather: yeah, that comment was unnecessary.  I don't get the name calling... that's just mean.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Yeah cosmo--I wouldn't blink an eye about attending a 9/11/10 wedding, I just wouldn't want to have one myself.

    And this whole thread kind of just cracked me up.  Yeah, the rush hour traffic is a PITA and it's not a plan I would've hatched for my own guests.  But, the b&g are probably aware of the PITA and for whatever reason decided to go ahead with it anyway. I just truly didn't understand what she expected us to say--either go, or don't.  Or explain to the bride that you can't make the ceremony and try for the reception.

    Also, I totally get the inflexible hours of the healthcare industry.  My husband is a resident.  But, even he can try to trade a shift with someone to attend a wedding once in a blue moon.  No, it won't always work, but he will put out a big effort to try to attend if we are close to the b&g.  Come to think of it, he is putting in a request now for a couple days off next Spring so we can travel to a wedding.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from tibird. Show tibird's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I have 2 friends with birthdays on 9/11.  I felt terrible for them after 2001, all of the publicity associated with a date that was so special to them.  Too bad they had to keep refering to it by the date, instead of another title.
    I would definately attend a wedding or other event that day, but probably couldn't deal with the comments of others if I chose it.  Plus I would try not to pick the birthdays of close friends - have to consider everyone's feelings :)

     
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