new to board - wedding guest dilemma

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    why? can't part with that 60 seconds of focus?

    Your birthday is 6 days later. Not that day. That's a big difference.

    People celebrate their brithdays, and usually close friends and family want to take a moment and do so as well. I guess you don't.

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]To be totally honest, I feel completely fine not mentioning that it's anyone's birthday on our wedding day.  I don't even want it mentioned that it's mine a mere 6 days later.  My family and close friends know, but our wedding isn't to acknowledge the day of my birth.  That's a totally different occasion.  I will be on my honeymoon celebrating my birthday with my husband.  That's intimate and special to me.  That's the only way I'd want it. We will get my FSIL a card and a small gift.  That's plenty.  As far as mentioning it on our wedding day, I'm sorry, but no. 
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Pink, fine! I don't disagree with you here. All I am saying is that I don't feel that the b&g should schedule their wedding around someones birthday. I am not trying to start a huge fight. And OF COURSE I would wish them happy birthday. I am not some heartless b*tch.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    No, but how funny would it be if you did!!  Imagine her face if a cake was presented to her at YOUR wedding and everyone sang! 

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]If it were a family member, then yes. But my friend didn't do squat for me. I would much rather do something at a RD than a wedding.  I am not going to give a cake to my dad's 65 year old co-worker whom I barely know.
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I guess you don't HAVE to. After all, I don't HAVE to call my mother or brother on their birthday. I don't HAVE to acknowledge it. I don't HAVE to send them cards, give them gifts or anything.
    But I do because I WANT to, because it makes them smile and know I thought about them and their birthday. I do it because I CARE. It's a freaking nice thing to do for someone you care about. If some of you feel that's too much trouble, then I don't know what to say.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I would be really embarassed. I HATE when people sing to me. Imagine a room of 100+ people!!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    You don't have to schedule around it. It would just be nice if you took a moment during your HOURS long reception to say "Happy Birthday"
    It's just the nice thing to do. It doesn't cost any money, it doesn't take long and it's really no trouble.
    I don't see why you're so opposed to it.

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Pink, fine! I don't disagree with you here. All I am saying is that I don't feel that the b&g should schedule their wedding around someones birthday. I am not trying to start a huge fight. And OF COURSE I would wish them happy birthday. I am not some heartless b*tch.
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    I already said if they hate that kind of attention, then don't do it. You could still give them a card or a cupcake without having the whole room sing.

    It's a nice thing to do. The reason it's nice is because you don't HAVE to. It's just thoughtful and considerate. That's all.
    If you really think it's too much trouble, then don't, but it would be nice.

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]I would be really embarassed. I HATE when people sing to me. Imagine a room of 100+ people!!
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]I'm so glad somebody else said this.  You know how people find brides that always say "it's MY day" to be totally obnoxious?  That's what I think of people who say this about their birthdays.  Drives me nuts.
    Posted by kmt09[/QUOTE]

    I have a friend who has a "birthday week" every year.  Seriously?  I avoided her the entire week, except the actual day, which was the same day as the celebration.

    Side note:  We're not that close, but I don't know if I would act differently if we were.  Or maybe the fact that she pulls stuff like this is one of the reasons we're not that close.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Are you seriously arguing over whether people's birthdays should be recognized at a wedding??  WHO CARES!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]why? can't part with that 60 seconds of focus? Your birthday is 6 days later. Not that day. That's a big difference. People celebrate their brithdays, and usually close friends and family want to take a moment and do so as well. I guess you don't. In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma :
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    That's actually a very hurtful thing to say.  If you knew me at all, you would realize that I go above and beyond for everyone that's important to me.  Not mentioning that it's her birthday on our wedding day was something that's difficult for me to do, but sorry, we're doing it.  As far as my husband and I being the "focus" that day, I don't understand why that's a concern for you, and no offense, but isn't that the reason why everyone has come together on the day anyway? 

    I'm sorry you feel this way.  I'm sorry you disagree with me.  And, I'm also sorry that you felt the need to say something so hurtful (me not wanting to part with 60 seconds of focus), but you don't know me.  Not at all. 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]I already said if they hate that kind of attention, then don't do it. You could still give them a card or a cupcake without having the whole room sing. It's a nice thing to do. The reason it's nice is because you don't HAVE to. It's just thoughtful and considerate. That's all. If you really think it's too much trouble, then don't, but it would be nice. In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma :
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]
    Ok, fine. I am done talking about this. Jesus.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]LOL!  Remember how important half-birthdays used to be?  and how mad you'd get when you'd passed that halfway mark and people didn't remember to add the "and a half" when telling your age? Now if someone mentioned my age at ALL to another person, I would not be a happy campler, let alone if they added the "and a half"!!  In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma :
    Posted by heatherv1211[/QUOTE]

    I think I'd be more likely to subtract 1.5.  Like, I'm not 29.5, I'm 30-.5.  Then again, I suppose that's not much better.

    FWIW, I would be really irrirated if anyone mentioned my birthday at their wedding, but it could be because I am nearing a terrifying milestone.

    BTW - what is up with "Happy Birthday?"  It is impossible for a group of people (other than trained singers) to do it without it sounding terrible.  Couldn't we have some universally recognized birthday song that normal people can actually sing? (For more info, please see: The Star-Spangled Banner).
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Are you seriously arguing over whether people's birthdays should be recognized at a wedding??  WHO CARES!
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    lmfao. jesus mary and joesph.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    And, yes Goodness. That is the ONE day when the focus is allowed to be ALL on you....OK I'm done now...promise.

    Our beloved Senator died last night, and we are arguing over the dumbest sh*t on earth.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]And, yes Goodness. That is the ONE day when the focus is allowed to be ALL on you....OK I'm done now...promise. Our beloved Senator died last night, and we are arguing over the dumbest sh*t on earth.
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]

    Sept, we've been together for 6 years.  We're allowed to have our wedding day.  And, not for nothing, I don't need to explain this or any of my reasonings for doing anything for our wedding to anyone.  I shouldn't have felt the need to explain in the first place.  Those are the choices we made, and it's mean of people to say anything with regards to what we're doing for OUR wedding.  How about MYOB!!?  How about that.

    And, my heart sank when I heard of his passing. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from tibird. Show tibird's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    oops!  i just got back & didn't realize the havoc my birthday comment would make! It was kind of a joke about considering everyone's feelings - I can't imagine someone being upset over it, my in-laws excluded, of course*
     I think it's sprung a life of it's own, but my input is that I would (and did) schedule my wedding for when we wanted it.  If it fell on someone's birthday so be it.  I would say a special happy birthday to them on my own and I'm sure others than knew about it would do the same.  It could be a shared special day, no biggie.

    *side note - my bach. party was scheduled, unfortunately, for the night before my SIL's 27th b-day.  She said that it was her birthday weekend & asked my MOH to pick a different date.  When that wasn't possible, she stood us up (stayed home) & then pouted/wreaked bratty havoc for a solid week afterwards.  In retrospect, I would have gladly picked her birthday as our wedding date :)

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Goodness, you don't have to explain it to me :) And yes, it was very sad.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]oops!  i just got back & didn't realize the havoc my birthday comment would make! It was kind of a joke about considering everyone's feelings - I can't imagine someone being upset over it, my in-laws excluded, of course*  I think it's sprung a life of it's own, but my input is that I would (and did) schedule my wedding for when we wanted it.  If it fell on someone's birthday so be it.  I would say a special happy birthday to them on my own and I'm sure others than knew about it would do the same.  It could be a shared special day, no biggie. *side note - my bach. party was scheduled, unfortunately, for the night before my SIL's 27th b-day.  She said that it was her birthday weekend & asked my MOH to pick a different date.  When that wasn't possible, she stood us up (stayed home) & then pouted/wreaked bratty havoc for a solid week afterwards.  In retrospect, I would have gladly picked her birthday as our wedding date :)
    Posted by tibird[/QUOTE]
    Very mature for a 27 year old! P.S. your in-laws sound like a trip.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Oh no, I'm planning a dinner out with my mother the night before my parent's wedding anniversary!!!  SHOOT!  I should reschedule.  Their feelings are going to be SO HURT! 

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]BTW - what is up with "Happy Birthday?"  It is impossible for a group of people (other than trained singers) to do it without it sounding terrible.  Couldn't we have some universally recognized birthday song that normal people can actually sing? (For more info, please see: The Star-Spangled Banner).
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    no kidding!!!  i'm a singer, and I refuse to sing that song to anyone at any time in anything louder than a whisper.  one of the absolute hardest songs for the human voice to sing.  however, it's my cousin's siberian husky's favorite song and if you even sing "hap-" he'll start howling his head off!  I like his version infinitely better.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from ash. Show ash's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Never got to read the original post, or any others except quoted in other people's posts.  But I'll try to comment anyway!

    I'll start out by validating today's brides.  Its a tough world out there.  Its expensive to get married, to feed and entertain people and to keep the complainers at bay.  And I've decided there seems to be an abundance of people out there who feel that they may comment in extremely unhelpful ways on other people's weddings (bridesmaids commenting on the wedding colors, co-workers commenting on the menu choices).  Very stressful.

    Let's validate the guests, too.  Let's face it ladies, 4:00 on a Friday is a really difficult time for guests.  For the most part, you do have to take time off from work, time many people don't have or have to negotiate (as an aside, I found it interesting that I think the OP works in health care--and in shift health care--say a floor nurse--you want to have weekday weddings because its easier to get time off if you don't have to switch a weekend).  If you have kids its a babysitter before they even get out of school.  In fact, if I had a daughter, I'd discourage this if I could (wouldn't stop her, but would point out the above).

    I think the bride needs to schedule her wedding on what day works for her and the groom, the only two people who need to be there.  Sometimes that day is inconvenient for the guests and the guests are entitled to feel frustrated.

    My advice to the OP is that I don't think this is the proper place to vent these feelings.  The proper place is to people who know you and are as frustrated as you are by them.  My step-sister's rehearsal dinner was on the Cape on at 4 PM in July and my husband and I had to leave work very early, pick our kids up at camp and drive in traffic.  Such a pain, but we just complained to each other.  We felt much better. 

    OP, I get that you really would like to go to the wedding, but instead of focusing on your frustration, start calling people to switch shifts with you so you can be there.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    ash, I know I don't say it often enough but here it is....

    I love you!!!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    Goodness, I can totally understand how acknowledging the groom's sister's birthday WOULD absolutely diminish your day.   Good for you for sticking to your principles! 

    (BTW, I meant to say that we had the DJ play "Birthday" by the Beatles, not have everyone actually sing!  I agree that it's the 2nd-most-badly-sung song in history, next to the SSB, of course!)
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from ash. Show ash's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Wait a minute? Are people actually implying that the b&g need to ASK permission of ALL their guests if it is OK to have their wedding when they want it to be? My birthday is October 14th, my friend got married October 12th last year. Did I care? No. The only thing that kind of s*cked is that I was a little too hungover at her wedding and couldn't act like my awesome crazy dancing self. Geez. If anyone is upset that their birthday falls on or near my wedding, TOO BAD.
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]

    What, sept, you don't have all these birthdays in a spreadsheet already, so you can plan each and every event around them?  What kind of bride are you??Wink
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma

    In Response to Re: new to board - wedding guest dilemma:
    [QUOTE]Goodness, I can totally understand how acknowledging the groom's sister's birthday WOULD absolutely diminish your day.   Good for you for sticking to your principles!  (BTW, I meant to say that we had the DJ play "Birthday" by the Beatles, not have everyone actually sing!  I agree that it's the 2nd-most-badly-sung song in history, next to the SSB, of course!)
    Posted by cosmogirl[/QUOTE]

    THANK YOU!!!!!!
     

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