No “AND GUEST” – help!!

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Polly21. Show Polly21's posts

    No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    My live-in BF of 2 years was invited to a wedding; it’s a close friend who I’ve never met b/c he lives on the West Coast (where the wedding is). This has been on the radar for months & we started making plans to attend long ago; before I bought a ticket, I told BF to make sure I was invited – he assured me I was & we booked air/hotel. Fast Forward: The wedding invites went out late, we had not gotten one so the groom texted w/ meal options, BF asked me & we placed our order. The invitations arrived YESTERDAY (the wedding is in 2+ weeks) & there is no “& Guest” on the envelope / inner envelope. Now I feel like a total idiot b/c I was obviously not invited. BF says “it’s no big deal”, they know I’m coming – I’m trying to explain that is not the same thing as being INVITED.

    So HELP. Do I cancel my flight? Do I go & just hang out in the hotel during the wedding? Do we ask to include me?

    If it helps, we are all in our late 30s, BF is the only “un-married” guy so he'd be with all couples, travel alone AND pay for the hotel ($700+ for the 2-nite minimum) -- personally, i think if you're asking that of a guest, he should be invited with his GF. Even if an invite is extended now -- i feel like a gerk.

    thoughts???

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    Sorry this happened to you. However, the couple is in the wrong.  You've been living with him for two years and should have been on the invitation. No one can expect him to travel across the country alone. Your bf included your meal choice, was there a response to that? I'm hoping that it was an over site and you really were included in their count.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    It's not optional to exclude live-ins. You should be invited. Period. I'd go as planned. These people sound like total idiots. Who waits until 2 weeks before to send out wedding invitations? Who texts friends for meal choices?
    If I were you I'd just go. They are so clueless they are probably expecting you anyway.
    And I'm sorry these ingrates are making you feel bad. It's their fault, not yours. That invitation should have had your name on it - "and guest" isn't acceptable for live in significant others - omitting it is inexcusable.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ihavemyhats. Show Ihavemyhats's posts

    Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    Here's a slightly different point of view.  If you personally do not know the groom or the bride well enough to call and talk to them, why do you want to go to the wedding?  For the free food and drink?  Either go with your BF and find something else to do (visit a museum, have a spa treatment, etc) or change your ticket for another location.  Yes, they should be paying attention, but if not, you be the grown-up.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    I'm with Hats.  You weren't invited to the wedding, so you shouldn't go.  I don't agree with it (I had every guest have a +1 at my wedding), but that's life and they probably have their reasons for it (may need to keep the numbers down, and had a "cut off" for anyone not already married). 

    Anyway, I would be too embarassed to call and "beg" to come to the wedding.  Either go on the trip and do something else while your BF is at the wedding, or save the $ and skip it all together.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from move-on. Show move-on's posts

    Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    If the friend is that close, he should get in touch with the friend and ask. It's gauche, yes, but everyone will get over it. And it may have been an accidental oversight.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Polly21. Show Polly21's posts

    Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    Thanks for the helpful comments. Problem solved – BF called, politely inquired (there was no begging, lol) & they say they're expecting us. I AGREE, if it doesn’t say “guest” or preferably a name -- you’re not invited. this was odd b/c BF talked to the groom multiple times & CONFIRMED before we booked the trip that I was invited, he said I was & they were looking forward to meeting me, blah blah – then we got the invitation (11 days prior to the wedding due to printing errors) & I was left off. I happily would’ve stayed home if they didn’t/couldn’t include me – but under the circumstances where everything was booked/paid for, we'd sent a gift  --- it seemed odd & worth a 30 second phone call. I can’t guarantee the bride was in the loop on all this – but that’s what happened.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    Glad it worked out!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    In Response to Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!:
    It's not optional to exclude live-ins. You should be invited. Period. I'd go as planned. These people sound like total idiots. Who waits until 2 weeks before to send out wedding invitations? Who texts friends for meal choices? If I were you I'd just go. They are so clueless they are probably expecting you anyway. And I'm sorry these ingrates are making you feel bad. It's their fault, not yours. That invitation should have had your name on it - "and guest" isn't acceptable for live in significant others - omitting it is inexcusable.
    Posted by misslily



    Agreed! I wouldn't bring a gift either, I'd ship it two weeks or so after the wedding!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: No “AND GUEST” – help!!

    Well, since the bride writes out the wedding invitations, or gives the list to the calligrapher or whomever is writing out the invites, it's possible that her list from the groom's side of the family wasn't accurate or complete.  It's always great to call and check-in when something like this happens.  If you are going to a wedding, at least one of a couple should be very good friends (or relatives) of either bride or groom, and should be able to make this call. 

    Have fun at the wedding!
     
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