Notice: All forums will be retired as of May 31st, 2016 and will not be archived. Thank you for your participation in this community, and we hope you continue to enjoy other content at

No gifts

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: No gifts

    I'd honor it but I'd be disappointed.  I think a lot of people who say "no gifts" think they are being altruistic, thinking of all the people they are saving the trouble.  My point is that if that is the only the idea behind anyone's request for "no gifts," they are missing the mark; they don't seem to understand that people enjoy giving and celebrating with gifts and it's a personal sacrifice and disappointment to guests to be told not to.

    I see your point about food/wine not being a "gift," per se, and I'd bring wine (unless it was for you!) 'cause spending 4 hours in the kitchen making my signature mocha butter cream double layer chocolate cake IS a gift, lol. :)

  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: No gifts

    but is it better to disappoint the guest by saying "no gifts" or is it better to disappoint the reluctant gift-receiver who really doesn't want anything but now has to graciously receive a gift they don't want simply to please their guests? Only in one case are people saved time and money, and that's by requesting "no gifts" so I see it as the lesser fo two evils.

    I suppose I see the point of giving a gift is to give the recipient what they want. If what they want is no gift, then give them what they want. No disappointment necessary, you've given them what they want and they got what they wanted. Win-win.
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from SUFan45. Show SUFan45's posts

    Re: No gifts

    kargiver- I also enjoy giving gifts and think a lot about the receiver when I'm picking something out.  However there are many people that also enjoy giving gifts and while they have good intentions often the recipient ends up with something they really don't need or have room for.  Yes they'll miss out on getting something thoughtful & useful from you but they'll avoid getting serveral other gifts that will end up living in a closet.  Even registries don't always work, I have several relatives that refuse to buy off of them and will instead pick out something on their own. 
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ash. Show ash's posts

    Re: No gifts

    DH's aunt came to the engagement party knowing full well we did not want gifts with a pair of silver candlestick holders. They're lovely, but we have used them twice in the 4 years since she gave them to us. Other than that, they sit in the closet in a box, and I feel guilty about it. They're lovely, and I appreciate the sentiment, but I really wish she had just given us a card.

    I know what you are saying pink, but I'll turn this around for you.  A group of my cousins gave me most of my china for a wedding gift.  It was a such a great gift and I love my china.  But like your candlesticks, I don't use them frequently.  Still, without fail, every time I use them, I think of my cousins and how much we love and care about each other.  It makes me so happy to have this time that I am reminded of them.  Likewise I have a pottery bowl one of my best friends from high school gave me.  Its really not my style, but it looks nice on a side table I have tucked in the back of my living room, so I leave it out and sometimes put a plant in it.  I think of my friend, whom I don't see very often because she lives across the country, every time I use that bowl.  I've been married for almost 19 years and still think of these people when I use the items they gave me.

    Like china, you aren't meant to use silver candlestick holders every day.  Use this gift as a time, 4 times a year, that you think of your husband's aunt fondly and how much she loves you.
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: No gifts

    May I add to ash's sentiment? One's taste changes as time goes by. I got several gifts at our wedding (42 years ago this coming Tuesday) I thought I would never ever use. Not one but two pair of silver candle holders, a large silver tray, several crystal bowls etc. But I found, I now love to use them at special occasions and holiday dinners. Some of the gift givers are no longer here, and when I set my table with their gifts, I remember them fondly.